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I want to get my tubes tied and he says no

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I'm done having kids, we decided on three and that's what we have. Our youngest is 3 and I'm done with the toddler stage and ready for the next chapter in our lives and for me that means permanent birth control like getting my tubes tied or essure. My husband thinks differently. He thinks we may want another child down the road and we will regret it but I know I won't. I love my kids to death but 3 is enough, I can't handle anymore.

I hate to go behind his back and get it done when he's out of town but I know I'm done having kids.

Let me clarify what I mean when I say getting it done behind his back. He works out of town for 6 weeks at a time. I'd secretly set up the procedure for a time when he's at work and I'd tell him either the night before or the day of when it would be too late for him to come home.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 6, 2013 at 9:44 AM
Replies (31-40):
by Anonymous 8 on Jan. 6, 2013 at 9:59 AM

Make an appt and have the ensure procedure done. 

by Sevrsaxhtharxxa on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:00 AM
1 mom liked this

Just tell him no sex until it is done. 

by Emerald Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:00 AM

I did a tubal, thanks. I'm trying to find a way to get OPs hubby to come to a compromise instead of going behind his back to get one of those done.

Quoting MrsMWF:

Essure is considered permanent. I hope you didn't get Essure thinking it could easily be removed. If you want long term BC that can be reomoved you should look into an IUD.

Quoting AllofFive19:

I'd hate to have you do a tubal, but maybe you can talk him into Essure as it can be removed and you can still get pregnant if it's removed.

by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:01 AM

Good luck with that.  Thankful my husband and I agree on two kiddos and I'm havign my tubal done next week.

by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:01 AM

I'm amazed at all the posts about the hormonal birth control options, which are not safe and according to CM posters 99% uneffective, as well as dangerous procedures which have a big risk of damage and scarring to the uterus.  Three kids are enough, not everyone wants to populate the planet unlike apparently many posters here, and this guy spends weeks at time away from home.  His thinking he has any right to tell her no is ballsy to say the least.

by Ruby Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:01 AM
Going behind his back would be idiotic, and a quick path to divorce. If you really want it, just tell him you are going to have it done and do it.
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by Gold Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:02 AM
Mine didn't either.

Quoting AllofFive19:

Mine didn't even ask.

Quoting peanutsmommy1:

Many doctors will not do it without a spouses agreement on the procedure

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by Anonymous 9 on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:02 AM
I can understand wanting to be done but I wouldn't do it behind his back that's a huge thing to lie about and hide it could destroy a marriage! My hubby got a vasectomy, because he was like you had the babies and a vasectomy is a far less invasive procedure! Talk to him about a vasectomy and you could always be like its like 70 or 80% reversible within the first seven years so maybe hell be ok with it because hell think he might be able to get it reversed someday lol
by Platinum Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:03 AM

  Well, it's your body. If you're totally sure you want it done, you should do it. You don't need his permission. My x's brother was still with his first wife, and they'd had 3 kids together, and they had decided together that she'd get her tubes tied after that one. She was still in labor, and the Dr. was in the room when x bro in law says to his wife, "I'm not SURE if I'm really ready for this to be our last one." Then the Dr. REFUSED to do the tubal ligation. She was LIVID at her dh. They ended up divorcing, (not because of this), and he had, I think, two more kids with two different women, and I think she even had more kids, or at least one more. Also, x b.i.l. made a deal with  that first wife that he would sign away all his rights to those three kids so he would never have to pay c.s., and the new hubby adopted them.

Quoting Anonymous:

No, I haven't seen that post. This is something we've talked about off and on for 3 years and I don't know what to say to convince him I want it done.

Quoting loisl25:

Is this a spinoff of the post where the woman's hubby wants a vasectomy and she doesn't want him to do it?

by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:03 AM
I really think this should be done when you two are in agreement or at least being upfront with him about it.... That could be a recipe for a divorce or at least a huge crisis in your marriage.
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