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I want to get my tubes tied and he says no

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I'm done having kids, we decided on three and that's what we have. Our youngest is 3 and I'm done with the toddler stage and ready for the next chapter in our lives and for me that means permanent birth control like getting my tubes tied or essure. My husband thinks differently. He thinks we may want another child down the road and we will regret it but I know I won't. I love my kids to death but 3 is enough, I can't handle anymore.

I hate to go behind his back and get it done when he's out of town but I know I'm done having kids.



Let me clarify what I mean when I say getting it done behind his back. He works out of town for 6 weeks at a time. I'd secretly set up the procedure for a time when he's at work and I'd tell him either the night before or the day of when it would be too late for him to come home.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 6, 2013 at 9:44 AM
Replies (41-50):
MrsMWF
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:03 AM

I get that..and I agree she shouldn't go behind his back but Essure is permanent....we teach our patients that if they want Essure they need to be sure they do not want anymore babies.

Quoting AllofFive19:

I did a tubal, thanks. I'm trying to find a way to get OPs hubby to come to a compromise instead of going behind his back to get one of those done.

Quoting MrsMWF:

Essure is considered permanent. I hope you didn't get Essure thinking it could easily be removed. If you want long term BC that can be reomoved you should look into an IUD.

Quoting AllofFive19:

I'd hate to have you do a tubal, but maybe you can talk him into Essure as it can be removed and you can still get pregnant if it's removed.




Abby.N.Amys.Mom
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:04 AM

My husband has to sign a consent form for me to get my tubes tied. 

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:


Quoting Anonymous:

My DH's urologist didn't ask me any questions, he just asked if I was onboard with the vasectomy decision and DH said yes.  I never even met the doctor.  Honestly, I'd say if a doctor thought it was their business to ask that they speak with your spouse, time to find a new doctor.  It's not a law and if an abotion can be had without both parties consenting, and I'm pro-choice, they should not ask if your husband is okay with you getting your tubes tied. 

You have 3, you don't want more and he has no say in trying to stop you.  I think he has a hell of a lot of nerve telling you no when he is gone for 6 weeks at a time.  It's easy to say kids are awesome and you should have 10 when he is gone so much.

I was required to sign a statement saying that I was okay with my husbands vasectomy and that I knew it meant we would not have anymore children.

I didn't like having to do it because I believe that it is his body, his choice but it was the only urologist in our area that took our insurance. LOL.


 

 

illinoismommy83
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:05 AM

You are going to need surgery day plus 2 or more recovery days to have a tubal and fake being back to normal. It is minor and routine, but it is still surgery! They will excuse you from work for a whole week and the gas they pump in your belly can cause prolonged discomfort. I wouldn't "sneak" into surgery.

Would you be ok with something long term like Mirena or Implanon?

3xangel
by *Angelicious* on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:05 AM
Don't do it behind his back. That's a major breach of trust and could potentially ruin your marriage if/when he finds out.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
ReagansMomy
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:05 AM
I want mine tied and my husband doesn't. We are a team and that means big decisions are mutual. I wouldn't do something so permanent without his blessing.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
priceless3238
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:05 AM

Why would he have to be gone? Depending on the procedure it is a simple outpatient procedure and you are in and out and that is that. i know this is how essure works 

Quoting Anonymous:

hes gonna have to be gone for atleast 2 weeks for him to not notice.


Abby.N.Amys.Mom
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:06 AM

I had my post partum appointment last week and my doctor explained removal of the Essure to me (I mentioned that a lot of women - some from this site - have had problems with it) and he told me it's actually a simple procedure to have it removed.

Quoting MrsMWF:

I get that..and I agree she shouldn't go behind his back but Essure is permanent....we teach our patients that if they want Essure they need to be sure they do not want anymore babies.

Quoting AllofFive19:

I did a tubal, thanks. I'm trying to find a way to get OPs hubby to come to a compromise instead of going behind his back to get one of those done.

Quoting MrsMWF:

Essure is considered permanent. I hope you didn't get Essure thinking it could easily be removed. If you want long term BC that can be reomoved you should look into an IUD.

Quoting AllofFive19:

I'd hate to have you do a tubal, but maybe you can talk him into Essure as it can be removed and you can still get pregnant if it's removed.





 

 

Lynette
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:07 AM

This should not be done unless both of you are on board with the choice.

RMB2011
by Platinum Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:09 AM
That's what I was thinking.

Quoting loisl25:

Is this a spinoff of the post where the woman's hubby wants a vasectomy and she doesn't want him to do it?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
my4kids274
by Ruby Member on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:09 AM

Please let this be a troll post...WHY would you go behind your husband's back to get your tubes tied.  Just tell him you are doing it and that is that.  No reason to lie! 

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