Sorry of this gets long.
A few months ago a friend of ours ( illcall him john) was unexpectedly laid off. He's a hardworking man with a family of 6. He had a job lined up for jan 1 but problem was making it until then. DH and I discussed it and prayed about it. We decided to anonomously give them money. A good friend ( who is a mutual friend and ill call her Jane) is a bank branch manager. I talked with jane and she thought up of a plan. I didn't want them knowing it was us because I didn't want them to feel the need to repay. Anyhow, she typed up a letter basically saying Please take this as a love offering doing this difficult time. Put the money and letter in an envelope with johns name on it. She brought it to him and said it was in a night drop envelope with her name on it when she opened he envelope this envelope addressed to him was in it. He just said thanks, and she left. DH told his mom about John and his family since they are friends of ours. She unexpectedly sent me $500 to give to them the same way. So we Did he exact same thing. So within a week John receives $1200 anonymously. A week goes by and I bring them a HUGE pack of diapers for their 1 yr old. They were very thankful for it. Jane has brought them food in the meantime as well.
Fast forward to mid December -
Just he and I were in the office and he said ok something has been bothering me. I said what's up? He said a few months ago we randomly received $1200. I think Jane knows who gave it but I know she won't tell me. Ill be able to pay it back quicker than expected I really want to know who gave it. I tried to be surprised and telling him well maybe they don't want to be known. Just to ask Jane if he paid her could she give it to the person. After I left I called Jane and said do not take he money. Tell him you don know who did it.
A few days before Christmas they get DS a gift... It's a 50ish dollar toy. Janes daughter did secret angel for the kids and johns wife was crying when theybrought it to her because they weren't going to have Christmas. So I know they didnt just have money toss around. A few days ago we went eat and John insisted on paying. He just got s job and I know he hasn't gotten paid yet.
Yesterday just he and I in the office again he said since he know it has to be someone in our fire department who helped him he will just have to give a big thank you to everyone so that he won't leave anyone out. He said he bows its someone there because no one else besides a few people in the department knew his situation.
Here is my delema: do I tell them it was us that way they don't have to spread their financial situation with 30 people? Or do I leave it as is and just let it go. I have a feeling he knows its us... Many people on the department have no idea they struggled like that. Honestly there are only a few people who have the money to spare. That's why I feel he knows its us.
What would you do.?
If he insists on paying you back tell him when you need a favor you'll call on him but you don't want the cash.
I think it's a really nice thing that you did. I'm glad there are people like you who care enough about their friends to help them out.
Thank you. I'm leaning to tell him. Idk about DH. I just feel he already knows and just needs confirmation it was us. I wouldn't want to tell people who don't know my issues kwim?
Quoting NightShade19:
I'd tell him and make sure he's clear that you did it that way because you don't want him to repay it.
If he insists on paying you back tell him when you need a favor you'll call on him but you don't want the cash.
I think it's a really nice thing that you did. I'm glad there are people like you who care enough about their friends to help them out.
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