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Is he "cheating" or am I overreacting.

Lately I have noticed my DH is very hostile towards his laptop. He always makes sure to shut it down when he isnt on it even if he is just getting up to use the washroom and has recently put a passcode on it. Every time I sit near him or walk by him he quickly changes the page or closes his chats. And earlier today when I walked by he was talking to a girl who's chat he closed really quickly. With first glance I could've sworn her reply to whatever he said was "thanks hun you are too ;)" How should I go about this?

by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 4:08 PM
Replies (91-100):
by Platinum Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 7:10 PM

My ex did that to me and he was cheating on me with not one but 4 women.

by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 7:12 PM
Tell him you want to know what's going on and why he is so secretive with his computer the way he is acting is throwing up red flags
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by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 7:21 PM

 Definitley a red flag.

by Platinum Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 9:44 PM
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by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 9:47 PM
I would call him in it and see what he says. I would also ask if I could use the laptop and see how he reacted. I think its pretty sketchy that all of a sudden he needs a password when he didn't before.
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by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 9:56 PM

This would definitely upset me. I don't think your overreacting. Now on how you should go about it, I cannot tell you. Every guy is different and every relationship is different. I don't know if this is something new or an on going issue.

When I first got married we had issues similar to yours and I got rid of the computer all together. It was difficult living for yrs without one but I knew that he couldn't control himself and that was the means he had so I got rid of it. You can't have alcohol in the home of an alcoholic and expect the person not to drink. He felt that what he was doing was normal and i was crazy.

It took so much from me not to divorce him but I wanted to save my marrage and with lots of help we were able to understand eachother and he understands how much this would hurt me. And in turn our relationship suffered because I didn't want him near me or touching me. It was a terrible cycle.

We got help from our Church and today finally he sees how this is wrong. He admits to me that he struggles with wanting to see images but at least he understands me and makes an effort to respect me.

Good luck, I know it's not easy. But it's ok to ask for help.

by Platinum Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 9:58 PM

Ask him directly!

by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 9:59 PM
Sounds fishy to me
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:02 PM

I think that adding passcodes to a non-work computer (I know some work computers require them for everyone) and not sharing it with you is akin to him putting a new lock on a door in your house and not giving you a key. I'd be suspicious, even more so if he tried to blow me off. If there is nothing to hide, I would think he would see you being upset and show you, even if it annoyed him for having to do so.

by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:03 PM
1 mom liked this

Get a keylogger program... You can get a free trial or spend a $30-50 on one.

Go to

Search for keylogger, top right...

I found out a man I'd been with for years was a pedophile this way, so be prepared to see something you might not want to see..

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