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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Dad's fiance' at my wedding

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: Do you think what I am asking is fair?

Options:

yes, she should be there as his date, no more then that

no

other?


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Total Votes: 233

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I am trying to decide exactly how to do things at my wedding. My parents were never married and my mom got married when I was a year old, my step father is no less of a father to me then my bio dad is, actually more so because I lived with my mom and step dad most of the time. My dad and I have a pretty good relationship. He was married for about 10 years but divorced about 3 years ago. He is now engaged to a woman I don't really know, met her twice. Here is the problem, I want my parents to be in the "parents" places at  the wedding, I don't think that my dad's fiance' needs to be. I don't mind that he brings her as a date but I don't think she needs to sit in the front row at the ceremony or with my father during any "father of the bride" stuff

At the ceremony, there is room for 4 people in the front row on the bride's side, so I want my mom, step dad and dad there plus I want my grandmother (mom's mom) who did a lot to raise me there as well and I don't think she should be bumped to the second row for a woman I don't know. I. was thinking about having her sit with my dad's parents. I don't want her in the many of the formal wedding pictures either, I just don't think it's needed or appropriate. I will have her in a few but I am thinking about just letting my dad know to have her just stand to the side until we call her in. At the reception, she can sit with him but she doesn't need to be part of the receiving line or go up with him when he makes his toast. Me and my fiance agree on this but I talked to my dad's mom about this, while she agrees with about that this is what is apropriate, she says he might have a problem with it.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 7, 2013 at 5:47 PM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 7, 2013 at 6:02 PM

About 2 years but he lives out of state so we don't often see him anymore

Quoting Anonymous:

How long has your dad and the fiance been together?


bustybee
by Buzz Lightyear on Jan. 7, 2013 at 6:03 PM

its his choice. either he accepts it and goes to the wedding, or he doesn't and comes out looking like an ass. how did you solve the dilemma of 'the father' walking the bride down the isle? is it gonna be your step or bio dad?

LizzieAnnesMom
by ☆Mrs.Winchester☆ on Jan. 7, 2013 at 6:04 PM

Just tell him.

Tea4Tas
by Ruby Member on Jan. 7, 2013 at 6:05 PM
6 moms liked this

You are doing this backwards. call the FIANCE-take her out to lunch, or dinner and talk NICELY to her.

Tell her how you feel about the people who raised you, and tell her you sure hoipe to be close enough to her so she can stand up with your Dad at your vow renewal...in 25 years...but that for now, that while you would LOVE to have her as a guest at your wedding, you hope she can understand that you will have your Dad alone in the receiving line, in the front row at the church and giving the toasts.

You would love to have her in a FEW of the pictures, But of course you will need more shots with family, obviously. You don't want to hurt her feelings, but she is very new to you, at this point, and while you sure hope to get to know her better, at this point, she would be a most welcome GUEsT at your wedding, and not a member of the wedding party.  You need to get her on board, and you Dad will follow.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 7, 2013 at 6:05 PM

Both, one on each side

Quoting bustybee:

its his choice. either he accepts it and goes to the wedding, or he doesn't and comes out looking like an ass. how did you solve the dilemma of 'the father' walking the bride down the isle? is it gonna be your step or bio dad?


SWasson
by Silver Member on Jan. 7, 2013 at 6:06 PM

I think you're being very fair. You don't really know her, so having her as part of the wedding party when she isn't married to your dad yet would be absurd.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 7, 2013 at 6:07 PM

They live out of state and won't be in town before the wedding so that's not really much of an option. I hate to call her on the phone because I just don't know her well (I would have to get her number from my dad).

Quoting Tea4Tas:

You are doing this backwards. call the FIANCE-take her out to lunch, or dinner and talk NICELY to her.

Tell her how you feel about the people who raised you, and tell her you sure hoipe to be close enough to her so she can stand up with your Dad at your vow renewal...in 25 years...but that for now, that while you would LOVE to have her as a guest at your wedding, you hope she can understand that you will have your Dad alone in the receiving line, in the front row at the church and giving the toasts.

You would love to have her in a FEW of the pictures, But of course you will need more shots with family, obviously. You don't want to hurt her feelings, but she is very new to you, at this point, and while you sure hope to get to know her better, at this point, she would be a most welcome GUEsT at your wedding, and not a member of the wedding party.  You need to get her on board, and you Dad will follow.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 7, 2013 at 6:08 PM

Then I will be doing 2 separate dances. I actually have another post going asking if anyone knows any good step father/ step DD songs?

Quoting bustybee:

its his choice. either he accepts it and goes to the wedding, or he doesn't and comes out looking like an ass. how did you solve the dilemma of 'the father' walking the bride down the isle? is it gonna be your step or bio dad?


bustybee
by Buzz Lightyear on Jan. 7, 2013 at 6:10 PM

thats really sweet of you. I hope he sees what you are doing as including those who helped raise you, rather than trying to be mean to his df

Quoting Anonymous:

Both, one on each side

Quoting bustybee:

its his choice. either he accepts it and goes to the wedding, or he doesn't and comes out looking like an ass. how did you solve the dilemma of 'the father' walking the bride down the isle? is it gonna be your step or bio dad?

 


bustybee
by Buzz Lightyear on Jan. 7, 2013 at 6:11 PM

I wondered, but since there are so many on cm I didn't assume. why not pick out songs that have happy memories with each father rather than a 'daddy/daughter song' and a 'step daddy/step daughter song'

Quoting Anonymous:

Then I will be doing 2 separate dances. I actually have another post going asking if anyone knows any good step father/ step DD songs?

Quoting bustybee:

its his choice. either he accepts it and goes to the wedding, or he doesn't and comes out looking like an ass. how did you solve the dilemma of 'the father' walking the bride down the isle? is it gonna be your step or bio dad?

 


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