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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Hurt, angry, upset... *sigh* LONG!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 51 Replies
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I’m so not in a good place tonight. I told myself for all of the December 2012, that 2013 would be different. I wouldn’t be so stressed, I would watch my temper (not that I have a horrible anger problem or anything, just general temper), I would try to make healthier foods for my family, I would make sure the house stayed clean, or at least generally clean, and I would enjoy life more, you know… relax. Well, so far, 2013 has gone GREAT! I have felt a bit more relaxed, a bit less stressed but… it’s mostly becuz I have learned to “cope” with it all.
But tonight the stress, the anger, the hurt… it’s all there and I am not dealing with it well. I just want to go hide in a corner and cry and then pass out. But, seen as how I am at work, that’s not a good option.
What’s stressing me out?
1)I have a GREAT marriage, to a great guy. He is no way shape or form is perfect (and neither am I). He has his issues, as do I. One of them is his procrastination. I have been asking for a week now, for him to take the trash can out to the dumpster. He asked me this AM to remind him tonight and he would do it. Well, I forgot to remind him (even though I have asked him EVERY DAMN DAY FOR A WEEK) and when I went to put trash in the trash can and realized it was full, I took the trash can and put in in the front so he couldn’t forget to take it out.
2) My DH has been asking me to help with his weight loss and money spending by making him a good breakfast and lunch (not sure why he can’t do it, he just asks me to). Well, for the last 2 weeks I have been trying to keep up with this. And either he forgets his lunch, or he doesn’t eat the breakfast I make and just put it in the fridge where, uncovered, it goes bad. L
3) My DS is in Kindergarten and I should have realized today would be HELL becuz he is back on “school” schedule and not “fun” schedule. He was mouthy, through a temper tantrum when I said no or not now, or whatever he DIDN’T want to hear. He refused to eat what I made for dinner; he was just a super hand full.
4) I have also been making sure to make healthier dinners. DH has Gout, so he can’t eat very many foods (he has gout, wants to eat right, but hasn’t been taking his pills? Explain this!). So, I have made great dinners the last 7 days. Good, wholesome, dinners. This takes time. Took me an hour tonight. Add on the 5 year old BRAT my son turned into today, and my 4 month old DD who wanted to be held or fed, or played with and it wasn’t the funnest part of my night. Well, then while attempting to eat my dinner (after making DS a corndog so he would eat SOMETHING before bed), my DD goes into an all-out hissy cuz she’s hungry. So, ½ through dinner, I get to stop eating and nurse her.
5) I have been trying to keep the house clean and laundry in order. So, every night after dinner, I wash the dishes, I clean the counters, I sweep the floor, I pick up the living room, (all while trying to get DS in the shower before bed), then I pick up his mess cuz it’ll be there for 3 days if I don’t . I threw in a few loads of laundry (which take 90 minutes to dry becuz our complex maintenance hasn’t fixed the drier yet, or they said they did but it still isn’t working right).
6) I got 5 hours of sleep today becuz when I get off work at 7:30 am, drive the 30 minutes home and then have to take DS to school at 8:20, get home, eat something (becuz if I don’t I won’t eat until 6pm!), make DH’s lunch and breakfast and feed DD. Getting me in bed at 9:30ish (if not later) and then up at 3-3:30pm.
THOSE are just my stressors from TODAY alone!!
Now, lets add on everything else:
1) We’re filing bankruptcy this week (dh’s checks are getting garnished from a shitty thing we did 3 years ago), so we have to do it NOW!
2) I am attempting to quit smoking AGAIN! I started back up a few weeks ago when my little brother visited from CO, becuz I am SUPER stressed and needed it. I had 1 cigarette today, 1 yesterday, and 0 the day before, so I am no chain smoker but still that leads into issue 3…
3) My milk supply seems to be getting lower. L I work full time 11p-7:30 am 4 days a week. I used to be able to pump 9 oz a shift which was PERFECT! I am now only pumping 4-5 and have pretty much used up my supply I had in the freezer. So, I am trying Fenugreek, Mother’s Milk and Oatmeal. So far (after 3 days) I have seen a .5 increase in my first pumping session. I just want to CRY!
4) I am filing sexual molestation charges against my step father from 18 years ago!! This is obviously a big one. I am stressed becuz I have to give testimony in my mother’s divorce case (in front of EVERYONE) about what he did to me. So, I’m a little stressed over that.
5) Oh… there’s more. But I’ll save you the pain of reading it!

And to put a cherry on the FUCKING GOD DAMN FUCKED UP BITCH OF A SUNDAY…. I went and “vented” on FB today. I didn’t say anything horrible. I barely said anything at all to be honest. But whatever it said DH didn’t like and decided to cuss me out VIA text while I was at work over it. (It said: I love being a wife, I love my husband with all my heart but I DO NOT LOVE when the trash hasn’t been taken out, when I make breakfast and it isn’t eaten, and that I barely see him becuz of his work hours).
So now I am sitting at work, crying becuz I am hurt and stressed and there isn’t much I can do. *sigh( If you made it through that book of a post, thanks for reading. J
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 8, 2013 at 4:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
BelleVernonGirl
by Gold Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 4:40 AM

Sorry momma..just breath...good luck!

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 8, 2013 at 4:43 AM
Who watches your daughter while you sleep and your DH is at work?
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 8, 2013 at 4:44 AM
I'm trying. *sigh* I now have a migraine the size of Texas, so I'm praying my Tylenol works soon. 5 more hours, then I can go crawl into my bed ALONE and sleep. I don't think I want any company today.


Quoting BelleVernonGirl:

Sorry momma..just breath...good luck!


exhaustedmother
by Amy on Jan. 8, 2013 at 4:44 AM

I'm sorry. I hope things get better soon. Hugs.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 8, 2013 at 4:45 AM
Sorry mama.


How are filing charges after 18 years aren't there limits on things like that since the proof is probably gone.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 8, 2013 at 4:45 AM
Me. :( there's not much watching to do. I'm nursing so, she ends up sleeping with me. It i have her in her crib w/ her mobile and when she cried I go get her. So, my 1/2 assed attempt at sleep, of course.


Quoting Anonymous:

Who watches your daughter while you sleep and your DH is at work?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 8, 2013 at 4:46 AM
AZ has no statute of limitations, so for my mother to use my testimony in her divorce case for sole custody of my 3 younger sisters (16, 11, and 2) I HAVE to file charges. :(


Quoting Anonymous:

Sorry mama.





How are filing charges after 18 years aren't there limits on things like that since the proof is probably gone.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 8, 2013 at 4:46 AM
Wooooosaaaaaa momma wooooosaaaa
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 8, 2013 at 4:47 AM
Thanks. :)


Quoting exhaustedmother:

I'm sorry. I hope things get better soon. Hugs.


Caylems-Mamaw
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 4:48 AM
Sorry to hear all that is going on at one time for you I hope things get better really soon
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