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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Dread being home alone with my 2 girls

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I hate staying home with my kids , 4 and 2 , I love them , I want to see them happy all the time but I hate the screaming and shouting and arguing and squabbling toys all the time , I have a small house so we are stuck in the same room all together. I fell guilty when people make comments like, they are lovely , play with them or keep them busy or turn the TV on ,no big deal.but I don't enjoy it all the time .... Am I really a bad mother ?? Is it normal for toddlers and preschoolars to stay home all day without getting bored ?? Coz that never happens with me if I don't play with them it's shouting and screaming , I can't do anything for myself when they are awake .... I know they are a blessing but I'm tired, bored and in a bad mood all the time . And please save me the hard words ...
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 8, 2013 at 7:49 AM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 8, 2013 at 8:27 AM
I have 3&5 yr old girls. When they fight 70% of the time it's because they are bored. Playing Simon says, turning on music and dancing or running them around outside for a few can help. Sometimes they just need to be seperated. I joined the y and they are in seperate child care rooms when I work out. That hour or so apart usually helps additudes. Good luck!
lilfishbigocean
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 8:54 AM

 

Quoting atyou:

Hey!


I'm watching you. Nice mug.

Quoting lilfishbigocean:

 Good advice, and awesome links!! Thanks!


Quoting starbuckmom03:


Sounds like you need to get out of the house more. 


I get the arguing and screaming and squabbling over toys.  I have 3 boys who do this daily.  I have two 4yr olds who are still trying to negotiate playing and having their turn and verbalizing this with each other and older brother so I am usually in the midst of it all referining (sp) it all. 


Do you have a MOPs group near you?  MOPs ( link)is Mothers with Preschoolers.  My old group, which I might start back up this fall, met 2 times a month for 2 hours.  My kids were taken care of and I got to relax and talk with other mamas and have a snack and talk about so many things. Check the link I shared.  You can see if there is a MOPs near you.  The closest one for me is 15 mins away but so worth it!


What you are going through, we all go through it. 


Try this website, No time for flashcards, for some great ideas to do with your kids. 


Also, remember, its winter.  We all hate being cooped up in the house. Once its warm enough outside, I notice a huge difference in my kids.  They are so happy to be outside they forget to argue with each other!!  Its like the sunshine and warm breeze washes the stink off them and they are happy!


 

 

lilfishbigocean
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 9:04 AM

 I checked out the MOPs website, and I don't have any close to me.. It did say that I could start my own - but I think that would be taking on too much for me right now. My littlest one is autistic, and she has teachers coming in and out all week long. Definitely something to think about though!

The other website, No Time For Flashcards, is AMAZING. I already found quite a few things that my LO can do with her teachers!  Thanks again!! :)

Quoting starbuckmom03:

You're welcome!

I know what its like to be in the OPs position.  Its not fun.  Thats why I found my MOPs group or well, they found me through my friend!  But its so worth getting out of the house and meeting with other moms who totally understand what you are going through.  To be able to vent or even getting a reasuring hug from time to time is huge!

Another poster mentioned getting someone to watch your dd's so you can have some time for yourself.  Please look into that!  Even 2 hours a week is big.  Time to wander around Target, or sit at a park and read a book, go get a coffee or soda or even have lunch by yourself <----- HUGE deal for me!!

OP:  Another thought.  Do you have any extra money to be used for childcare?  The reason I say this is there are programs called Parents day out or Moms day out.  Google those for your area.  I was able to put my oldest in a program, one day a week for 6 hours for, at the time, $20 a day.  I was able to go to dr appt, shop, clean my house, or just be refreshed and ready to go again and be a mom again when I picked up my ds.

Quoting lilfishbigocean:

 Good advice, and awesome links!! Thanks!

Quoting starbuckmom03:

Sounds like you need to get out of the house more. 

I get the arguing and screaming and squabbling over toys.  I have 3 boys who do this daily.  I have two 4yr olds who are still trying to negotiate playing and having their turn and verbalizing this with each other and older brother so I am usually in the midst of it all referining (sp) it all. 

Do you have a MOPs group near you?  MOPs( link)is Mothers with Preschoolers.  My old group, which I might start back up this fall, met 2 times a month for 2 hours.  My kids were taken care of and I got to relax and talk with other mamas and have a snack and talk about so many things. Check the link I shared.  You can see if there is a MOPs near you.  The closest one for me is 15 mins away but so worth it!

What you are going through, we all go through it. 

Try this website,No time for flashcards, for some great ideas to do with your kids. 

Also, remember, its winter.  We all hate being cooped up in the house. Once its warm enough outside, I notice a huge difference in my kids.  They are so happy to be outside they forget to argue with each other!!  Its like the sunshine and warm breeze washes the stink off them and they are happy!

 

 

 

x2monstersx
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 9:19 AM

I know how you feel! It just sounds like you have to get out more.  My kids are 4 and 18 months and are always running around, playing loud, pushing, biting etc and it can get stressful.  So we visit grandma alot lol.  It helps me to get out.  Do you have family or friends you could visit more often?  It's hard in the winter too, everybody is stuck inside all day.

JNLmomme09
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 9:24 AM
We all have those days it is normal. We get out of the house even if its to go to a store just to look at all the pretty things we can't afford lol we also go to the library a lot there u meet and socialize with other mamas and my kids get to make a mess and explore and play they are more likely to clean up there then at home anyways does your library offer any classes? Ours does take advantage if yours does
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Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 9:29 AM

You need to teach them some independant play skills, and it is normal for young children to get bored easily.  They need something that will keep them occupied.  Do you have Lincoln Logs?  Legos or Brio blocks?  What about play-dough?  A 4-year-old can occupy themselves for about 40 minutes to an hour, but the two-year-old is a baby still, and not only has a short attention span, but wants mommy.  This is what it's like being a SAHM.  The 4-year-old will be going to school in a year.  The 2-year-old won't be 2 forever.  It only feels that way.  The worse your attitude about it is, the more the kids are going to misbehave.  Perhaps you should look for a full-time job if you're not adjusted to being at home by now.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 8, 2013 at 9:38 AM
Thanks all for the kind words and. The suggestions , it's not like I'm stuck all the time , kust that since Christmas my kids have been sick and now my 4 year old has chicken pox so no school and we can't go out either , and unfortunately we live in England so no I have no family around. ,,,, I'll check out those sites I just need friends to meet with like an hour or 2 every couple of days , kids have fun and I get some time off , I've been taking my 2 year old to mother and toddler groups twice a. Week , but the moms there are different nothing in common , but I keep going for the sake of my little one's entertainment ....
starbuckmom03
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 9:58 AM

You are welcome!  Anything to help out another mama!  We all need to stick together!!

Quoting lilfishbigocean:

 I checked out the MOPs website, and I don't have any close to me.. It did say that I could start my own - but I think that would be taking on too much for me right now. My littlest one is autistic, and she has teachers coming in and out all week long. Definitely something to think about though!

The other website, No Time For Flashcards, is AMAZING. I already found quite a few things that my LO can do with her teachers!  Thanks again!! :)

Quoting starbuckmom03:

You're welcome!

I know what its like to be in the OPs position.  Its not fun.  Thats why I found my MOPs group or well, they found me through my friend!  But its so worth getting out of the house and meeting with other moms who totally understand what you are going through.  To be able to vent or even getting a reasuring hug from time to time is huge!

Another poster mentioned getting someone to watch your dd's so you can have some time for yourself.  Please look into that!  Even 2 hours a week is big.  Time to wander around Target, or sit at a park and read a book, go get a coffee or soda or even have lunch by yourself <----- HUGE deal for me!!

OP:  Another thought.  Do you have any extra money to be used for childcare?  The reason I say this is there are programs called Parents day out or Moms day out.  Google those for your area.  I was able to put my oldest in a program, one day a week for 6 hours for, at the time, $20 a day.  I was able to go to dr appt, shop, clean my house, or just be refreshed and ready to go again and be a mom again when I picked up my ds.

Quoting lilfishbigocean:

 Good advice, and awesome links!! Thanks!

Quoting starbuckmom03:

Sounds like you need to get out of the house more. 

I get the arguing and screaming and squabbling over toys.  I have 3 boys who do this daily.  I have two 4yr olds who are still trying to negotiate playing and having their turn and verbalizing this with each other and older brother so I am usually in the midst of it all referining (sp) it all. 

Do you have a MOPs group near you?  MOPs( link)is Mothers with Preschoolers.  My old group, which I might start back up this fall, met 2 times a month for 2 hours.  My kids were taken care of and I got to relax and talk with other mamas and have a snack and talk about so many things. Check the link I shared.  You can see if there is a MOPs near you.  The closest one for me is 15 mins away but so worth it!

What you are going through, we all go through it. 

Try this website,No time for flashcards, for some great ideas to do with your kids. 

Also, remember, its winter.  We all hate being cooped up in the house. Once its warm enough outside, I notice a huge difference in my kids.  They are so happy to be outside they forget to argue with each other!!  Its like the sunshine and warm breeze washes the stink off them and they are happy!

 


 


MamaMoopsie
by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:26 AM
1 mom liked this

No, you're not a bad mom. You've got some cabin fever going on and small children don't make life easy. I have a 3, 2, and 1 year old whom I'm home with all day. I've given up on the thought of doing anything for me during the day--I'm lucky if I can get some house work done (folding laundry, sweeping, washing dishes, etc) when my kids are awake.

Do you have a routine for your kids? I've found it helps keep the fighting, shouting/screaming down if I stick to a routine. A rough outline of our routine is: Wake up between 6:30 and 7:00 AM, eat breakfast, get dressed. I give them free play time until about 10AM (I do turn on the TV but they don't necessarily watch it, it's there if they want to watch). I put my baby down for her first nap at 10AM and that's when my 2 and 3 year old get some constructive play time (coloring, reading with me, or working on our ABC's and numbers by writing on paper or finding them in books or around the house) sometimes I will get a baking sheet out and sprinkles a thin layer of flour on it and they'll draw pictures in the flour. During their free play time and before baby's nap is when I try to get house work done. Lunch is between 12 and 12:30 then they get more free play time or a bath. They generally get a nap (all three) around 2PM. During their nap I try to get housework done or bills paid. My 9 year old gets home about 3:15 from school, and after my little ones get up from nap it's pretty much free time until dinner. All four kids start getting ready for bed at 7PM and the three little ones are in bed by 8PM and my 9 year old is in bed no later than 9 (generally by 8:30). After that is when I get my me time.

Do my kids still fight? Absolutely, but we use time outs and I will make them play in seperate rooms (set one up at the kitchen table with a coloring book and one up on the floor in the living room with a coloring book). You just have to find what works best for you. I know some moms who have to get out of the house every day with their little ones to keep their sanity.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:55 AM

i understand you i am one of those moms, i have to keep my sanity by taking kids out everyday .... coz my toddler would eat all day if we stay in 

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