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i want to know why my kids teacher is GONE

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My third graders teacher has been gone constantly this school year. She's in her mid fifties otherwise I'd think she was pregnant or parting or on drugs. She will be gone sometimes a couple weeks at a time and refuses to say why. We've only been back since Wednesday and she's only been there two days!!! I know I'm a stay at home mom but when I worked I didn't get days off like that. I got the teachers phone number from someone I know that is her second cousion and she got mad when I called and the teacher told me not to call! What the hell?! You're a teacher, you're supposed to answer school and he questions. I guess she doesn't care about my kid. The priniipal refuses to tell me why the teacher is out so much. As a parent, I deserve to know. How can I make them tell me?
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 8, 2013 at 8:54 AM
Replies (671-680):
overweightmommy
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 4:22 AM

I wouldn't push it. Maybe it's a medical thing. Maybe she's going through chemo or dialysis.... it could be anything and maybe she doesn't want people to know because she doesn't want pity. Maybe she has a child going through something like that. 

And as others have said, it must be a good reason if she still has her job(hence why I went the medical route for an explanation).

tossed
by Platinum Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 4:31 AM
1 mom liked this

Privacy laws have gotten much stricter. If a teacher will be out for say 6 weeks, yes, it is customary to send a note saying that Ms. X will be the sub for the next several weeks and can be reached at such and such email. That would not be enough for this mom. She wants to know WHY. Let's play devil's advocate. What if she is caring for a family member with AIDS or is involved in a law suit. No one is entitled to the details. She obviously knows that the teacher is out. She wants to know the nitty gritty details. She is not entitled to that. She did not call the teacher at home to say, "I am sorry you are going through something. Is there anything I can do to help you or my child through this period of time?" She called to find out WHY. Even sports announcers cannot discuss a football player's injuries unless they have a release to do so due to HIPPA. The teacher is protected by all sorts of privacy rules. The op did not say she was not told that the teacher would be gone for a couple of weeks, Her comment is the teacher "...refuses to say why." She has asked the principal "WHY" and was told it is not her business. Being told a teacher will be out is one thing; being told why is different. Frankly, I cannot imagine asking a principal why my child's teacher was out. I can understand a conversation that I had noticed that Mr. X was out a great deal and was concerned about what impact it was having on my child, hoped the teacher was ok, etc. But, I cannot imagine asking WHY. 

I was a high school teacher. I was open with my students as to why I was out. I never went into detail other than I was ill. Before I went on disability, I worked at a community college and worked as a case manager for a training and employment program. My clients were not entitled to know WHY I was out, just that I was and that there was another case manager who would handle their case. I had clients who knew why as I got sicker and sicker, but it was my choice to release the information. 

Quoting coffeeexpress:

Well when I was a kid if the teacher was going to be out for a while, the school sent a note home with us.  Same when my kids were growing up  In my personal opinion its common courtesy.        



Quoting coffeeexpress:

I guess you missed the last line of my statement.

Quoting tossed:


Quoting coffeeexpress:

I think you have the right to know,  but its not a big deal as long as a sub has been in teaching, your child is still getting an education. She could be dealing with an illness of a family member being ill.  I would not advise calling on off duty hours that is an invasion of privacy, they may be teachers but they have a life too.

What makes you think you have "the right to know" why a teacher is absent? You have the right to know she is absent, but not the reason. A teacher is entitled to privacy. 


No, I did not miss your contradiction. I am questioning your opening.."I think you have the right to know...." 



Bonita131
by Platinum Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 4:32 AM

Gee, did it ever cross your mind that your kids teacher could have a serious illness or a personally family tragedy? Seriously, who the hell do you think you are demanding that the teacher tell you why she's been absent? Who the hell do you think you are getting her phone number illegally (it is against the law to give out school personal phone numbers)  and calling her home?  It is none of your business why she is absent, it is not your right to know why she is absent.  If I was the teacher, I would have called the cops and reported you for harassment, stalking, & illegally obtaining personal information, and I seriously hope she thinks the same way, and does that very thing.

Bonita131
by Platinum Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 4:37 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Lyssa0587:

My nephews teacher was like this ( hes in kindergarten). She was an older woman and was always out because of family problems or something. Parents began to complain because the class was behind the other two classes because they always had substiutes and there wasn't any consistency. The teacher ended up just retiring from the pressure( she needed to, she was old). 


My, don't you sound like the compassionate one. Remember what you just said for the day when you're old and "need" to go.

Jalestra
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 4:58 AM

I don't blame you. My daughter had a teacher who was very sick in 9th grade, and was in the hospital. She'd planned on retiring at the end of that year, since she was quite old. Anyhow, this is Japanese class. In the course of that time they had every sub EXCEPT one who knew Japanese for all but 2 months out of the entire year. My daughter's entire first year of Japanese was completely wasted. Thank goodness they hired a new one for next year and he was understanding and the class was willing to do the work in order to actually learn what they should have already learned as well as learning the stuff for Japanese 2. 

Also, this school system is amazing, the teachers are awesome. The substitutes are usually clueless (for reasons that may not be their fault). So they really miss an entire day of learning. If that went on everyday, it's not my business to know WHY the teacher is gone, but it is my business to know WHY it's being handled so irresponsibly. That's not good for the kids and it's not good for their education. I would find out if there is a different sub every time, and if not is she closely following the lesson plan and if so, does she have any clue what is going on? You might also try talking to the other parents. They handle long term teacher absences differently though. We had a teacher out last year for cancer treatments a lot and they hired a constant sub who came in even on days the teacher was there to maintain consistency for the kids and kept their education up to normal. Probably helped the sub too, since her "new" wore off and the teacher backed the sub up, which encouraged the children to listen to the sub. If the high school would have done that, the Japanese class wouldn't have been a complete waste of time.


Jalestra
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 5:01 AM


Quoting Bonita131:


Quoting Lyssa0587:

My nephews teacher was like this ( hes in kindergarten). She was an older woman and was always out because of family problems or something. Parents began to complain because the class was behind the other two classes because they always had substiutes and there wasn't any consistency. The teacher ended up just retiring from the pressure( she needed to, she was old). 


My, don't you sound like the compassionate one. Remember what you just said for the day when you're old and "need" to go.

Anytime the class is falling behind because of a teacher, she needs to go. Compassion isn't going to fix a year's worth of ruined education for those kids. I hope when I get to that point I'll be smart enough and compassionate enough not to screw others over and recognize that I am harming, not helping, the very people who depend on me.

Teeny4121979
by Bronze Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 5:13 AM

I agree with this 

Quoting Anonymous:

What if she has a debilitating illness and is doing everything she can to be there as much as possible but has good days and bad days?

Would you feel like an asshole?

I'm sure the people who NEED to know are very aware of what is going on with her.


Bonita131
by Platinum Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 5:22 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Jalestra:

 

Quoting Bonita131:

 

Quoting Lyssa0587:

My nephews teacher was like this ( hes in kindergarten). She was an older woman and was always out because of family problems or something. Parents began to complain because the class was behind the other two classes because they always had substiutes and there wasn't any consistency. The teacher ended up just retiring from the pressure( she needed to, she was old). 


My, don't you sound like the compassionate one. Remember what you just said for the day when you're old and "need" to go.

Anytime the class is falling behind because of a teacher, she needs to go. Compassion isn't going to fix a year's worth of ruined education for those kids. I hope when I get to that point I'll be smart enough and compassionate enough not to screw others over and recognize that I am harming, not helping, the very people who depend on me.

Like I said. Aren't you the compassionate one.

Jalestra
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 5:59 AM


Quoting Bonita131:


Quoting Jalestra:


Quoting Bonita131:


Quoting Lyssa0587:

My nephews teacher was like this ( hes in kindergarten). She was an older woman and was always out because of family problems or something. Parents began to complain because the class was behind the other two classes because they always had substiutes and there wasn't any consistency. The teacher ended up just retiring from the pressure( she needed to, she was old). 


My, don't you sound like the compassionate one. Remember what you just said for the day when you're old and "need" to go.

Anytime the class is falling behind because of a teacher, she needs to go. Compassion isn't going to fix a year's worth of ruined education for those kids. I hope when I get to that point I'll be smart enough and compassionate enough not to screw others over and recognize that I am harming, not helping, the very people who depend on me.

Like I said. Aren't you the compassionate one.

Yeah, I also don't feel sorry for drunk drivers that kill people even if they are drunk because their wife left them, their kid has leukemia, their dog died, their house burned down and their truck got repossessed. I'm such an asshole. We're adults, we're supposed to be responsible. Even when we don't want or feel like it, especially in regards to children.

themomof3boys
by Bronze Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 7:28 AM
You have no reason to know why the teacher is out!!! As long as there are subs in class and the school knows why she is out. Also calling her at home is WAY out line.
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