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My 2 y/o is breaking my heart. HELP

A little background...

A little while back I finally had the courage to leave my abusive boyfriend and the father of my only son. They were close, his dad played with him a lot and spoiled him, but as far as actual responsibility he never helped.

Since the split my son has visited his father twice, as his father lives 250miles away and isn't the most stable person. He hasn't bought anything for him or even paid me back the money I loaned him.

So obviously there is a lot of anger/resentment between the two of us.

I recently started dating someone who is kind, amazing, and great with my son. Lately my son starts crying for his daddy anytime he gets angry or over-tired. I know he doesn't mean to hurt me, but it kills a little bit of me everytime. My boyfriend is also slightly upset bc he has been there for my son while his dad has done nothing for him.

How do i explain in a way an almost 3 y/o can understand, that his dad is choosing no longer to be a part of his life? That it's just him and mommy now?

** Just for the record I didn't move, his dad did. His dad chooses not to call despite my begging him to. Also, I never bad mouth his dad in front of him. I just can't find the right words to make the transition smoother.

by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 12:46 PM
Replies (81-82):
by Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 9:17 PM
You don't tell him anything at this age. You say I know you want daddy and comfort him. My dd use to say that a lot when she was younger and upset. I would just cuddle her and tell her I know that she misses her daddy and tell her it's ok to miss him and that daddy loved and missed her too. And that I loved her very much too. It seemed to comfort her and she eventually started saying it less and less. You bf just needs to realize that yes he's good with you son and your son loves him but he also knows who daddy is and he needs to accept that and just be there for him.
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by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 9:25 PM

The child isn't old enough to understand what he is doing. You need to understand that and ignore it. As he grows, he'll remember how you and your boyfriend were there and his dad was not.

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