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A Lesson for a 15 year old. *EDIT!*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Back story: my husband and my 2 young kids live with my MIL and DHs 2 teenage siblings. Yes I know this is a problem in itself and we are working on moving out. Anyway, so my MIL and me alternate weeks when we cook. This week is mine. We are low on money so I'm doing easy simple dinners. I said something like so I'm doing rutabaga egg nests and bacon tomorrow. Basically the rutabaga is hash browns. The 15 yr old girl said "ew that's nasty I'm not eating that." I was like do you even know what a rutabaga is?! You like potatoes don't you? Tastes just like it but more nutrients. She made another comment under her breath and I said "ya know what?! Why don't you make dinner for once?" She again bak talked me and said "ha I'm not making dinner that's stupid." Ohhhhhj giiiirl. Lol I was furious. Of course her mother did NOTHING. As usual. I always am getting lip from her.



So last night I was thinking about it. I was like what would I do if my kids acted that way when they are older. Got it! Give them $15-20 no more than $20. She has to plan out a dinner for one night. Take her to the store but she has no help with finding the ingredients. Catch is it has to accommodate the other sibling who is dairy and gluten intolerant. Then after she gets the stuff pay for it with the money. Come home and prepare it by 6pm. Set the table. Put the food on plates to serve. Then after dinner clean up the kitchen exactly how it should be done.



That's how me and my MIL do it. 6pm dinner and whoever cooks cleans.



Is this harsh? I think it would open her eyes and appreciate how much we actually do to plan an prepare the meals.



Should I propose this to her mother?

***EDIT*** guess I have l CLARIFY. I am NOT trying to parent her!! It was gonna be a suggestion to her mom. And I'm not telling her how to parent!! It was just an "eye opener" kinda thing.

I'm not gonna say anything to her about it, BUT I'm not gonna let some 15 year old best disrespect me. Also! It had nothing to do with the actual food I was making. It was her attitude towards the whole thing. This is NOT the first time she has mouthed off to me. Her mom has yelled at her before about it. And that was without me saying anything. It's just I was always brought up to respects elders especially when they cook dinner for you. My daughter granted she is 4 says ew I don't like this.. I immediately jump on her about it and say no that's not nice you don't say that.

Maybe what I said to her was smarting off but I don't give a damn. This girl has no respect for anyone in this house not just me and I'm not gonna let it slide!!
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 8, 2013 at 5:10 PM
Replies (11-20):
spooky415
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by Ruby Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 5:22 PM
1 mom liked this
You know what I'd do if someone living in my parents house decided to teach me a lesson that way?

Lettuce wraps. I'd buy a few cans of tuna and wrap it in some lettuce.

And I'd use the leftover change to buy myself McDonalds.
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Pink.Frosting
by Platinum Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 5:22 PM
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I doubt her mom will go for it.  If her mom didn't step up when the incident happened, she's probably not going to step up now. 

*But*, for what it's worth, I'm a mom of teens too and I think your solution is a tad too complicated.  I get what you're trying to teach but there are *many* things being taught in that lesson - budgeting, balancing other's dietary needs, shopping with a frugal mindset, cooking, balancing time to get everything on the table at one time.  It's overload.  I don't think she would learn anything because she would just get too flustered.  What I would do if my child did that, is make her spend time with me in the kitchen for X number of nights and she would have to help cook the meals.  She would also have to do the clean up.  That way she's still learning some cooking skills but is also being made to work instead of doing the fun stuff she wants to do.

elephantmamaof2
by Ruby Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 5:22 PM

I don't think it's harsh at all! I think it's a good lesson. As long as mil is in agreement, I think it sounds like a great plan! Who knows, she might enjoy it and you and mil can get some nights off! =)

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 8, 2013 at 5:23 PM
I know $20 isn't hard to do. That's not the point. The point is to show her how much work is put into feeding a household of 7. So that maybe she would appreciate it more.

And she does this often! About a lot of things. I am supposed to just let it go?


Quoting Anonymous:

It's not your child,  it's not your home,  just let it go!  And $20 for one dinner isn't that hard to do!


chattycassie
by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 5:23 PM

 I would not change my plans for diner. IF she is hungry she will eat if not I guess she is SOL

Quoting Anonymous:

Do you think it's ridiculous though tht now that she is being a snob about it I'm having to rearrange my meal plans and add another dinner? Don't you think she should have to make her own dinner or something? I'm sick of her getting away with it.


Quoting Anonymous:

I think so too. It sucks!! Those kids do absolutely nothing to help out in this house. Their mother still makes their lunches for them. They are 15 and 18.




Quoting StrawberryCool:

Leave its not your kid.





And secondly someone else should clean up since you cook


 

spooky415
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by Ruby Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 5:23 PM
Why do you care? Why does she have to like what you cook? If she doesn't, oh well, she doesn't have to eat it, she can eat whatever she or her mother make for her.

Sorry that she has an attitude...just deal with it until you move out.


Quoting Anonymous:

Do you think it's ridiculous though tht now that she is being a snob about it I'm having to rearrange my meal plans and add another dinner? Don't you think she should have to make her own dinner or something? I'm sick of her getting away with it.




Quoting Anonymous:

I think so too. It sucks!! Those kids do absolutely nothing to help out in this house. Their mother still makes their lunches for them. They are 15 and 18.






Quoting StrawberryCool:

Leave its not your kid.







And secondly someone else should clean up since you cook



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Pink.Frosting
by Platinum Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 5:24 PM

Actually, no you don't have to add another dinner.  You make what you planned.  If she doesn't want to eat it, she can make herself a sandwich.  You don't have to cater to her.

Quoting Anonymous:

Do you think it's ridiculous though tht now that she is being a snob about it I'm having to rearrange my meal plans and add another dinner? Don't you think she should have to make her own dinner or something? I'm sick of her getting away with it.


Quoting Anonymous:

I think so too. It sucks!! Those kids do absolutely nothing to help out in this house. Their mother still makes their lunches for them. They are 15 and 18.




Quoting StrawberryCool:

Leave its not your kid.





And secondly someone else should clean up since you cook



spooky415
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Holidays: Exciting for kids. Exhausting for parents.
Today at 1:24 AM
by Ruby Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 5:24 PM
Yeah, there won't be any lesson learned. No lightbulb is going to go on. She's just going to think you're a shitty cook and a bitch.


Quoting Pink.Frosting:

I doubt her mom will go for it.  If her mom didn't step up when the incident happened, she's probably not going to step up now. 


*But*, for what it's worth, I'm a mom of teens too and I think your solution is a tad too complicated.  I get what you're trying to teach but there are *many* things being taught in that lesson - budgeting, balancing other's dietary needs, shopping with a frugal mindset, cooking, balancing time to get everything on the table at one time.  It's overload.  I don't think she would learn anything because she would just get to flustered.  What I would do if my child did that, is make her spend time with me in the kitchen for X number of nights and she would have to help cook the meals.  She would also have to do the clean up.  That way she's still learning some cooking skills but is also being made to work instead of doing the fun stuff she wants to do.


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bustybee
by Buzz Lightyear on Jan. 8, 2013 at 5:25 PM

It depends on how hte mil will take parenting advice from you.

wrensong
by Pagan Mother on Jan. 8, 2013 at 5:25 PM

My 13 yr old son can plan, shop for and prepare a meal for the family already and in fact hs sone so more than once as a home ec project (we homeschool)

Granted we don't have any special dietary issues to work around. Still I think by 15, a kid should be able to create a meal for the family

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