Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

HELP my Step Son is out of control!. *New update in orange. DSS is going to juvy*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 My DSS is 17 years old, I married his father when DSS was 13 and hes always been a pain in the rear end but this past year his own mother told my husband she can not handle him anymore and asked if we would let him move in with us. Around my DH DSS is an angel,
But at school, Around just me, Around my kids i cant trust him at all!!!!

okay where to start, DSS is an expecting father but he refuses to be involved in his ex's life, She is 16 years old and is currently 29 weeks pregnant she decided to give the baby up for adoption which was my advice. DSS is failing all his classes because he doesnt go to school. He is smoking weed, drinking and taking perscription pills. Next, Around me he gives me NO respect. Hes threatend my life and I am much younger then my DH so i am only 29 and DSS has made it clear to me that he finds me sexually attractive. The other night when DH was out of town on bussiness DSS came home and i was bfing my 10 month old son and DSS made some rude joke about how he wished that my breast was in his mouth instead then he laughed and went upstairs to his room. I laid my son down in his room and when i came out DSS was standing there in my doorway blocking it. He made a grab for my breasts and said c'mon my little brother can have them and i cant. I told him if he didnt leave me alone i would be calling his father. My dh laughed at me when i told him this because he thinks i am making it up since its obvious I do not want him there. Than i was grocery shopping and DH texted me saying he was leaving our baby at home with DSS since he had to run to work and i raced home to find the baby locked in his room. DSS was playing video games downstairs with his buddies drinking beer and said that the baby kept trying to grab the controllers. My baby was SCREAMING so hard that when i got to him he was shaking and red. I couldnt believe DH left him there alone with his son. Anyways like i said DH wont believe me and its almost to the point where I am saying its me, our baby or his son.. I hate giving him that choice but I dont know what else to do i am scared that this boy is going to literally try and rape me sometime in my sleep. I fear being in my own house. He has also threatend my life quite a few times and the girl who he got pregnant she said he used to hit/slap her all the time. STILL DH wont listen. What do i dooooo :(

okay, So I ordered some spy cams they will be here thursday, but my husband is going out of town for a week which i was nervous about staying here alone with DSS for that long. But as a few of you pointed out he was testing the water which really freaks me out. So as advice from another mom I am staying in a hotel until the spy cam things get there and I will get my evidence leave, and let Dh watch them. Hopefully DH will open his eyes then. I will update whenever i can.

Apperantly my DSS thinks i am a dumb blonde, he called me in the middle of the night saying he needed me to come home right away, when i asked why he said something was broken and he couldnt figure out what. So i was like okay well what do you THINK it is. and he said something with the plumbing, This made me laugh almost like I know anything about plumbing!!!! So i said nice try if something is really wrong i will call a plumber in the morning... then he cussed a bunch called me a cold hearted bitch because he needed hot water or something. and i hung up. Sorry kid i am not coming home for something like that as far as i know it could be a trick and again... What would i know about plumbing :/  

Okay, so I got the cameras. Called the school to make sure he was in class went to my poor house which is a MESS! :( and now i am setting them up and ill probably do some cleaning before he comes home..... my poor house theres alcohol/beer bottles everywhere I even found a girls bra in MY bed :/ So i am washing my sheets right now YUCK why do kids find it fun to sleep with people in there parents rooms? ill update after i get all the evidence i need.

So, DSS came home for lunch he had his friends with him so of course all he did was be rude to me. But his face LIT up when he realized that i would be there without my baby today. So, he came back about twenty minutes later :/
I was scrubbing the kitchen counters and he made a comment about how he loves watching me bending over the counter like that. To which i glared at him and ignored. Than, he walked closer and just STOOD there. So i told him to back off and get back to school he laughed at me and said he would rather be here with me. I tried pushing past him and of course it didnt take long before he was all over me *this is the first time we had EVER been alone.* but little did he know I had my phone open on the counter with my friend on the line who was right down the street. So i kept saying NO and pushing him off he got really rough even slapped me than before I knew it my friend was in the house yelling and screaming at him to get off.. SOOOOO i am totally freaked, but I am safe and even better I have the evidence. I left the house and I am back at the hotel i am totally shaking If it werent for my friend there was NO way i would have been able to get away from him he was SO much stronger than me. it really freaks me out that the FIRST chance he got to do that he took it. So i am feeling sick to my stomach DH isnt answering and I dont even care to know SS is doing back at the house :/

Ok, so after DH got to the hotel he watched about 4 seconds of the video before he broke down. He cried for hours apologizing and saying how much he wished it wasnt true so much that he chose not to see it. After talking we decided to call the cops so we showed up at the house to SS drinking with his friends. SS had the most freaked expression he KNEW he had been caught so DSS pulled the whole feel bad for me its your fault cause you were never around to DH and said that i had started it. to which DH replied with showing him the video SS tried to run but the cops were waiting for him. So two weeks in juvy than he comes home but court will probably mandate therapy sooo i think HOPE this thing is over

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 8, 2013 at 5:46 PM
Replies (21-30):
michiganmom5150
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:06 PM
1 mom liked this
Get some nanny cams! Record all this! The dh can see! He knows you don't really want him there, but I don't think he understands the whole story. WHY you don't want him there! Then there's proof. If something did happen, PROOF!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:07 PM
1 mom liked this

Nanny cam. 

Mommy980106
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:07 PM
In my state, even a minor can decline admission into a mental hospital, unless it is court ordered.
Good luck with your decision. Remember, your obligation is to keep your baby and yourself safe.


Quoting Anonymous:

I guess he will have to believe it then. I have been debating on recording it. I am just so scared of being caught. I even ordered little spy cam things to place around the house. If anything i want this kid to be sent to a mental hospital for anger problems. He has serious issues that actually worry me. I do love him i mean hes my step son. Id hate for him to go to jail for the rest of his life which is where hes headed. 


Quoting Mommy980106:

Leave. If you are afraid for your life and the life of your child, it's best to leave. No one wants to think their child does bad things, but if your husband doesn't believe you now, will he when this boy does hurt you?

 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:08 PM

 Yeah maybe with proof, and me and our baby leaving him he will work with his son. I am sure hes partly acting up now because DH was never really around when he was a kid. I know that can have a big impact on some kids. I honestly think with some therapy, that he can be a great kid.

Quoting Retrokitty:

Tell him you both love in the house and you refuse to live in chaos. Either he lets you dicipline his son or you leave.


Quoting Anonymous:

 The one time i attempted to do any type of discipline DH told me that he was a big boy and those tactics only work on toddlers. :/


Quoting Retrokitty:

Take away all his stuff but his bed, blanket and pillow (I usually never say this)
Do not be afraid to call the cops. Don't just threaten call them.

 


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:10 PM
I would take my kid and leave. Your dh wants to keep his head in the sand. He's not stupid, he knows deep down what your saying is true. He just doesn't want to admit his kid is screwed up. I went thru 'the head in the sand' with my dh, it took his friends calling him out for him to stop ignoring what SS was doing.
Retrokitty
by Ruby Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:10 PM
Personally I wouldn't worry about the school or the smoking first but the respect. Teenager are hard. I would have a good long serious talk with your DH.


Quoting Anonymous:

 Yeah maybe with proof, and me and our baby leaving him he will work with his son. I am sure hes partly acting up now because DH was never really around when he was a kid. I know that can have a big impact on some kids. I honestly think with some therapy, that he can be a great kid.


Quoting Retrokitty:

Tell him you both love in the house and you refuse to live in chaos. Either he lets you dicipline his son or you leave.



Quoting Anonymous:


 The one time i attempted to do any type of discipline DH told me that he was a big boy and those tactics only work on toddlers. :/



Quoting Retrokitty:

Take away all his stuff but his bed, blanket and pillow (I usually never say this)
Do not be afraid to call the cops. Don't just threaten call them.


 



 


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
MommyAddie
by Gold Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:10 PM
1 mom liked this
I would leave, at least for the time being. Also, it it was me, I wouldn't let dh have the baby without me there for fear he would trust DSS a little too much with the baby.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Momof3smoochies
by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:11 PM
Call the cops. Don't give into your dh anymore. He has to listen the hard way. Trust me, your dss needs to be in jail. He's sexually harrasing you! Threatening your life! What is your husband waiting for? For you or your baby to be hurt or worse? Do it before it's too late.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:11 PM
Quoting michiganmom5150:

Get some nanny cams! Record all this! The dh can see! He knows you don't really want him there, but I don't think he understands the whole story. WHY you don't want him there! Then there's proof. If something did happen, PROOF!

 Ive ordered some. I think i am planning on getting proof, And leaving Dh to see it while i stay at my parents. I mean even DH's daughter who still lives with his ex says her brothers crazy. She said she wouldnt even bring her friends over when he lived there because her brother would come in her room at night and start trying to do things *sexual* with her friends. Which DSD is fourteen so her friends are all probably around the same age.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:13 PM

 Do you really think calling the cops will work? I mean what are the cops going to do. Than DSS will be pissed at me. I am really freaking out because DH is out of town for the week and  i have a week alone with this boy.

Quoting Momof3smoochies:

Call the cops. Don't give into your dh anymore. He has to listen the hard way. Trust me, your dss needs to be in jail. He's sexually harrasing you! Threatening your life! What is your husband waiting for? For you or your baby to be hurt or worse? Do it before it's too late.

 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured