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HELP my Step Son is out of control!. *New update in orange. DSS is going to juvy*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 My DSS is 17 years old, I married his father when DSS was 13 and hes always been a pain in the rear end but this past year his own mother told my husband she can not handle him anymore and asked if we would let him move in with us. Around my DH DSS is an angel,
But at school, Around just me, Around my kids i cant trust him at all!!!!

okay where to start, DSS is an expecting father but he refuses to be involved in his ex's life, She is 16 years old and is currently 29 weeks pregnant she decided to give the baby up for adoption which was my advice. DSS is failing all his classes because he doesnt go to school. He is smoking weed, drinking and taking perscription pills. Next, Around me he gives me NO respect. Hes threatend my life and I am much younger then my DH so i am only 29 and DSS has made it clear to me that he finds me sexually attractive. The other night when DH was out of town on bussiness DSS came home and i was bfing my 10 month old son and DSS made some rude joke about how he wished that my breast was in his mouth instead then he laughed and went upstairs to his room. I laid my son down in his room and when i came out DSS was standing there in my doorway blocking it. He made a grab for my breasts and said c'mon my little brother can have them and i cant. I told him if he didnt leave me alone i would be calling his father. My dh laughed at me when i told him this because he thinks i am making it up since its obvious I do not want him there. Than i was grocery shopping and DH texted me saying he was leaving our baby at home with DSS since he had to run to work and i raced home to find the baby locked in his room. DSS was playing video games downstairs with his buddies drinking beer and said that the baby kept trying to grab the controllers. My baby was SCREAMING so hard that when i got to him he was shaking and red. I couldnt believe DH left him there alone with his son. Anyways like i said DH wont believe me and its almost to the point where I am saying its me, our baby or his son.. I hate giving him that choice but I dont know what else to do i am scared that this boy is going to literally try and rape me sometime in my sleep. I fear being in my own house. He has also threatend my life quite a few times and the girl who he got pregnant she said he used to hit/slap her all the time. STILL DH wont listen. What do i dooooo :(

okay, So I ordered some spy cams they will be here thursday, but my husband is going out of town for a week which i was nervous about staying here alone with DSS for that long. But as a few of you pointed out he was testing the water which really freaks me out. So as advice from another mom I am staying in a hotel until the spy cam things get there and I will get my evidence leave, and let Dh watch them. Hopefully DH will open his eyes then. I will update whenever i can.

Apperantly my DSS thinks i am a dumb blonde, he called me in the middle of the night saying he needed me to come home right away, when i asked why he said something was broken and he couldnt figure out what. So i was like okay well what do you THINK it is. and he said something with the plumbing, This made me laugh almost like I know anything about plumbing!!!! So i said nice try if something is really wrong i will call a plumber in the morning... then he cussed a bunch called me a cold hearted bitch because he needed hot water or something. and i hung up. Sorry kid i am not coming home for something like that as far as i know it could be a trick and again... What would i know about plumbing :/  

Okay, so I got the cameras. Called the school to make sure he was in class went to my poor house which is a MESS! :( and now i am setting them up and ill probably do some cleaning before he comes home..... my poor house theres alcohol/beer bottles everywhere I even found a girls bra in MY bed :/ So i am washing my sheets right now YUCK why do kids find it fun to sleep with people in there parents rooms? ill update after i get all the evidence i need.

So, DSS came home for lunch he had his friends with him so of course all he did was be rude to me. But his face LIT up when he realized that i would be there without my baby today. So, he came back about twenty minutes later :/
I was scrubbing the kitchen counters and he made a comment about how he loves watching me bending over the counter like that. To which i glared at him and ignored. Than, he walked closer and just STOOD there. So i told him to back off and get back to school he laughed at me and said he would rather be here with me. I tried pushing past him and of course it didnt take long before he was all over me *this is the first time we had EVER been alone.* but little did he know I had my phone open on the counter with my friend on the line who was right down the street. So i kept saying NO and pushing him off he got really rough even slapped me than before I knew it my friend was in the house yelling and screaming at him to get off.. SOOOOO i am totally freaked, but I am safe and even better I have the evidence. I left the house and I am back at the hotel i am totally shaking If it werent for my friend there was NO way i would have been able to get away from him he was SO much stronger than me. it really freaks me out that the FIRST chance he got to do that he took it. So i am feeling sick to my stomach DH isnt answering and I dont even care to know SS is doing back at the house :/

Ok, so after DH got to the hotel he watched about 4 seconds of the video before he broke down. He cried for hours apologizing and saying how much he wished it wasnt true so much that he chose not to see it. After talking we decided to call the cops so we showed up at the house to SS drinking with his friends. SS had the most freaked expression he KNEW he had been caught so DSS pulled the whole feel bad for me its your fault cause you were never around to DH and said that i had started it. to which DH replied with showing him the video SS tried to run but the cops were waiting for him. So two weeks in juvy than he comes home but court will probably mandate therapy sooo i think HOPE this thing is over

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 8, 2013 at 5:46 PM
Replies (31-40):
AubreeGrace17
by Platinum Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:14 PM
Leave him. Its not worth it!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:15 PM

 Oh i learned my lesson on leaving the baby there with DH alone. Even if its just for a shower I have DS in the johnny jump up in the doorway. I dont leave that baby alone with anyone but me.

Quoting MommyAddie:

I would leave, at least for the time being. Also, it it was me, I wouldn't let dh have the baby without me there for fear he would trust DSS a little too much with the baby.

 

MicheleJM
by Phoenix on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:16 PM
2 moms liked this

Me? The first time he reached for my breasts I'd slap the shit out of him.  Matter of fact I probably would have slapped him for the rude remark. Of course you probably shouldn't take my advice on that one because he could get violent.. Then I'd tell DH you are enabling this child.  He is smoking weed and popping pills. Either he goes to rehab or I go. I don't want pot in my house and I wouldn't stand for my own kids having it.  If he's arrested you could be in trouble as accessory.  Does your dh know what he did to you?  If he doesn't you should.  Of course he may not believe you...hell I wouldn't want to think that about my own son.  If he threatened my life I would give dh a chance to address the issue.  If he didn't I'd call the police and press charges, declare him an out of control teen, report the pot, whatever. Tough love.  Or I'd leave.  My marriage isn't worth giving my life over.  And I'm telling you basically what I'd do if it were my own son.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:16 PM
That kid would have gotten hit across his fave as soon as he went to grab my boob.I do not beleave in spanking either!That kid needs some help.I would leave.I would say to him.You need to focus more on your son right now.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:17 PM

 So you kinda went through the same thing? what was your situation if you dont mind me asking?

Quoting Anonymous:

I would take my kid and leave. Your dh wants to keep his head in the sand. He's not stupid, he knows deep down what your saying is true. He just doesn't want to admit his kid is screwed up. I went thru 'the head in the sand' with my dh, it took his friends calling him out for him to stop ignoring what SS was doing.

 

Momof3smoochies
by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:17 PM
1 mom liked this
That's the only way he'll learn. I know this. I worked with law enforcement before. The cops will take him in. Trust me. He's breaking a lot of laws. He's a minor whose drinking. While smoking weed. He's threatened you and endangered your baby.

Quoting Anonymous:

 Do you really think calling the cops will work? I mean what are the cops going to do. Than DSS will be pissed at me. I am really freaking out because DH is out of town for the week and  i have a week alone with this boy.


Quoting Momof3smoochies:

Call the cops. Don't give into your dh anymore. He has to listen the hard way. Trust me, your dss needs to be in jail. He's sexually harrasing you! Threatening your life! What is your husband waiting for? For you or your baby to be hurt or worse? Do it before it's too late.

 

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MicheleJM
by Phoenix on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:19 PM


Quoting HaveFaith1215:

God I hate to say this but, Divorce may be your only option at this point. OR, buy a gun. Quick. 

Face it she really can't shoot a 17year old.  A gun is going to escalate things.  She's better off getting out if she feels she is in danger.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:19 PM
That is so sad you can.not trust your own DH alone with the baby.


Quoting Anonymous:

 Oh i learned my lesson on leaving the baby there with DH alone. Even if its just for a shower I have DS in the johnny jump up in the doorway. I dont leave that baby alone with anyone but me.


Quoting MommyAddie:

I would leave, at least for the time being. Also, it it was me, I wouldn't let dh have the baby without me there for fear he would trust DSS a little too much with the baby.

 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:20 PM
Call the damn cops on him next time he pulls any kind of shit.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:20 PM

 Thank you. And I have told DH everything in here and then some. He refuses to listen saying that I am overreacting and hearing things. Since his son is such a good child. Im telling you... DH is on a week long bussiness trip this week, this is the first time i have been left with him for more then overnight and if this kid presses too many of my buttons i will threaten cops and if he doesnt stop i will call them.

Quoting MicheleJM:

Me? The first time he reached for my breasts I'd slap the shit out of him.  Matter of fact I probably would have slapped him for the rude remark. Of course you probably shouldn't take my advice on that one because he could get violent.. Then I'd tell DH you are enabling this child.  He is smoking weed and popping pills. Either he goes to rehab or I go. I don't want pot in my house and I wouldn't stand for my own kids having it.  If he's arrested you could be in trouble as accessory.  Does your dh know what he did to you?  If he doesn't you should.  Of course he may not believe you...hell I wouldn't want to think that about my own son.  If he threatened my life I would give dh a chance to address the issue.  If he didn't I'd call the police and press charges, declare him an out of control teen, report the pot, whatever. Tough love.  Or I'd leave.  My marriage isn't worth giving my life over.  And I'm telling you basically what I'd do if it were my own son.

 

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