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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

In a tough battle with DH about vaccines

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies
Dh and I have a 2 year old dd together. She has only had one round of vaccines, her last shots were at 6 months of age. My son from a previous relationship, and his daughter from a previous relationship are fully vaxed. Now dh is a huge conspiracy theorist. I mean huge. He's also been diagnosed with paranoid delusions. He refuses medication and treatment because of his own diagnosis. He and I have had the argument over dd since he found out I had her vaxed at 6 months. Now here's my issue. While vaccines yes do scare me, and I wouldn't mind delay vaxing, (not that she could be any more delayed than she is) but he's completely against them. He goes with me to her well child checks just to make sure she doesn't get them, because he knows that I'm weak and would give in to the pediatrician who wants to vaccinate her. I wouldn't even mind doing selective vaccinations, but he's not the one catching crap from the pediatrician, his family, and my family for not vaccinating her. I'm at a loss. He is even wanting to homeschool her just to avoid getting her shots. I don't know what to do. His paranoia gets worse each year. And please don't say leave him, I'm not going to leave. Other than this vaxing issue, he's a great father, husband, provider, respectful of myself and the kids, except for this one issue. Please; any advice you ladies have, it's appreciated. Anyone who's been in a similar sitiation, please share your stories. How do I survive this battle?
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 8, 2013 at 9:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:12 PM
Shameless bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:14 PM
Eh, I'm with your husband.
But from a marriage stand point did you guys not discuss this before hand?
Would he allow one a year?
daughteroftruth
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:18 PM
5 moms liked this
The biggest issue here is not the vaccination..its his untreated medical issues.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:19 PM
Yea, before marriage he was fine with selective vax. As I said, he is slowly getting worse and worse with the conspiracy theories and paranoia. I understand the dangers and risks associated with vaccines, which is why we were both open to selective vax, now he's totally opposed to it. This happened after dd had a slight fever with her 6 month round of shots. He looked up each shot she recieved, and found each and every flaw with all of them, and he almost became like a hypochondriac after that, she had the worst case scenerio problems, in his mind.

Quoting Anonymous:

Eh, I'm with your husband.

But from a marriage stand point did you guys not discuss this before hand?

Would he allow one a year?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:23 PM
Honestly, I have no issues and I.don't vax. It started when my son was diagnosed with epilepsy. He could get some shots. So we didn't her any. Now my rule is if the doctor can name 3-5 ingredients in each vaccine then I will get them done! Oldest is 5. Not one doctor yet!


Quoting Anonymous:

Yea, before marriage he was fine with selective vax. As I said, he is slowly getting worse and worse with the conspiracy theories and paranoia. I understand the dangers and risks associated with vaccines, which is why we were both open to selective vax, now he's totally opposed to it. This happened after dd had a slight fever with her 6 month round of shots. He looked up each shot she recieved, and found each and every flaw with all of them, and he almost became like a hypochondriac after that, she had the worst case scenerio problems, in his mind.



Quoting Anonymous:

Eh, I'm with your husband.


But from a marriage stand point did you guys not discuss this before hand?


Would he allow one a year?

Lunarprancer
by Betsy on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:25 PM

Good for him.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:26 PM


Quote:

How do I survive this battle?

You actually educate yourself about vaccines, and what's in them...here's a list to get you started:


here is a link to the inserts so you can see the poison they deem is "safe" to inject into your child

http://vactruth.com/vaccine-inserts/

Here are some questions to answer for yourself in deciding about vaccination:

1. Name of the disease
2. Description of the disease
3. Length of time from initial infection to end of all symptoms
4. Infectious period
5. Normal symptoms of the disease
6. Known serious consequences of the disease
7. Proportion of persons infected developing serious consequences
8. Transmission route of the disease
9. Prevalence of the disease
10. Treatments of the disease and efficacy of those treatments
11. Relevant research about the disease
12. Name of the vaccine
13. Company that makes the vaccine
14. Contents of the vaccine
14A. The significance of whether or not the vaccine is live
15. History of development of the vaccine
16. Known side-effects of the vaccine and rate of incidence of those side-effects
17. Possible side-effects not yet acknowledged by the vaccine maker
18. Relevant research into the vaccine
19. How effective is the vaccine at preventing the disease?
20.What is the vaccine meant to do? (Many vaccines are not meant to prevent infection or transmission).
21.Number of cases reported each year.
22.Number of deaths reported each year from the vaccine and natural disease.

Here are some sources to help you out:

Vaccines: The Risks, The Benefits, The Choices 1/18 DVD, By Sherri J. TENPENNY-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OORHqEedtUY



http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/mmwr_wk.html (download the current issue)

http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pubs/pinkbook/pink-chapters.htm

http://vaers.hhs.gov/pdf/PackageInserts.pdf

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7018835240451107552&q

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6351515212287981735&hl=en

http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pubs/pinkbook/downloads/appendices/G/cases&deaths.pdf


WHO GRAPH-http://apps.who.int/immunization_monitoring/en/globalsummary/timeseries/tsincidencepol.htm


Beyond Conformity Resources Page- http://www.beyondconformity.org.nz/resources

Do you have a quick-fire summary?- http://www.beyondconformity.org.nz/questions#

Inside Vaccines- http://insidevaccines.com/wordpress/

http://childhealthsafety.wordpress.com/graphs/

http://het.sagepub.com/content/early/2011/05/04/0960327111407644.full.pdf+html
http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pubs/pinkbook/downloads/appendices/G/cases&deaths.pdf

http://vaers.hhs.gov/index

http://www.thinktwice.com/sids.htm

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:27 PM

How comfortable are you with not vaccinating (and you wouldn't have to homeschool necessarily, most states allow at least one waiver)?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:32 PM
Honestly, I'm comfortable with it, but I can't find anything for my state, except that it can only be on religious principles for vaccine exemption in schools. What makes me uncomfortable, is my pediatrician, and my previous one as well, make me feel guilty and don't respect, even our previous choice of select vaccinations. At her last appointment, the pediatrician had colleges come in and gang up on us. Reason I'm worried, she has another well child check in two weeks, I don't want a repeat of last year, and have considered cancelling her appointment even.

Quoting Anonymous:

How comfortable are you with not vaccinating (and you wouldn't have to homeschool necessarily, most states allow at least one waiver)?

mich.el.le
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:38 PM

The biggest problem here is your husband's untreated medical issues.  He needs to get help or it will likely get to a point where he's unsafe.
Idk what to tell you with vaxing, because I don't vax. Other than being sneaky about getting them, which I don't recommend, Idk if there's much you can do.
As far as your ped not respecting your decision..have a frank discussion with him. Tell him that you are NOT open to vaxing at this time and while you respect his professional opinion, he needs to respect your opinion and decision as the child's mother. If that doesn't work, switch peds to one who will respect your decision. 

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