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Have You Had The Death Talk??

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Has anyone had the death talk with their kids? :/

Our bird died today and I sent her off to be cremated. They keep saying "When Ti gets home can I rub her neck/feed her/pet her/ kiss her?"
I tell them no they can't because she isn't alive anymore and I had to take her to the place where they take care of people/pets that have died. They say they understand death and I ask them to tell me and all I get is that it means someone isn't alive anymore but then ask to do things with her so I know they haven't grasped the concept.

I don't even know if I should go into what cremation is or have her box out when I get the ashes back.
I told them we would talk about it more tomorrow when Mummy wasn't so exhausted.

So, ladies, can you give me any ideas or tell me how you did things and what worked and what didn't? I'm at a loss!
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by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:07 PM
Replies (11-20):
MomLife16
by Gold Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:20 PM
How old was he?


Quoting MistyMoo:

Yes, my DS wanted to know why grandpa wouldn't wake up.

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AA0214
by Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:21 PM
I had the talk with my 4 year old daughter when we put our dog down. She does understand our dog is now with Jesus and we will see her againv someday.
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MistyMoo
by Ruby Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:22 PM
2.5, so not old enough to fully understand what went on, but old enough to know something was seriously wrong.

Quoting MomLife16:

How old was he?




Quoting MistyMoo:

Yes, my DS wanted to know why grandpa wouldn't wake up.

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PEEK05
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:23 PM

No not really.  My almost 4 year old's fish died and she asked where Micah was.  I told her he died and she just said, "okay" and was satisfied with that answer for now.

moosesmom
by Ruby Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:23 PM
Yes. We had it very early. She approached me with the questions. I told her the truth about how everyone and everything that lives must die. My daughter is a little different though...I mean when we pass any cemetery she wants to stop and go in. *shrugs*
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:25 PM
Out dd has been talking about death since she was 2 on her own. It really creeped us out at first but now we are used to it.
LucyHarper
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:26 PM

Yes, people that we know have died and they have been to funerals. My 2.5 month old obviously doesn't know anything about it, but our five year old does, as do my siblings whom I'm the guardian of, they are 10, 13, and 17. We believe in treating death as a part of life instead of hiding it away and making it seem scary. We are religious, so that's a part of what we tell them, explained to our five year old when he was younger that while we are alive we live in our bodies, but when someone is done with their body, they leave it and go up to heaven, so they are no longer alive, so we can't see them or talk to them in person, but it's okay because they had a life and they enjoyed their life and now they will never feel pain or sadness again and we can see them again someday when we are done with our bodies, but for now we just have to remember them in our minds.

TAG_ur_it
by Platinum Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:31 PM

my grandmother died last year the day after we got there to see her.  we knew there wasn't much time left.  it was harder explaining it to the 4 year old but DS understood.  it didn't take much for DD to understand, though she still asks for nanny now and then.

MomLife16
by Gold Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:46 PM
Yea. They aren't quite understanding how physically final death is. My 5yo is all about the questions right now and my 6yo is sensitive so trying to explain things has been a roller coaster! Especially since she was fine when they went to bed last night and woke up to see me dozing with a sleeping, bleeding bird on me.


Quoting Kitschy:

I think at that age it's really hard because you know they don't grasp the concept. Explain however you want to teach them (spiritually or not) and let it be. Answer questions if they have them but don't push the issue if you feel like they just don't understand. It's okay if they don't fully understand, it's a process. :)

Quoting MomLife16:

5&6





Quoting Kitschy:

My 4 year old has asked but she still doesn't understand the concept. We put our dog down two years ago and my grandmother died as well. How old are the kids?





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Kitschy
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:47 PM

I'm sorry. My daughter thinks that if you are dead and a prince kisses you, you will wake up. :(

Quoting MomLife16:

Yea. They aren't quite understanding how physically final death is. My 5yo is all about the questions right now and my 6yo is sensitive so trying to explain things has been a roller coaster! Especially since she was fine when they went to bed last night and woke up to see me dozing with a sleeping, bleeding bird on me.


Quoting Kitschy:

I think at that age it's really hard because you know they don't grasp the concept. Explain however you want to teach them (spiritually or not) and let it be. Answer questions if they have them but don't push the issue if you feel like they just don't understand. It's okay if they don't fully understand, it's a process. :)

Quoting MomLife16:

5&6





Quoting Kitschy:

My 4 year old has asked but she still doesn't understand the concept. We put our dog down two years ago and my grandmother died as well. How old are the kids?






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