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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Have You Had The Death Talk??

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Has anyone had the death talk with their kids? :/

Our bird died today and I sent her off to be cremated. They keep saying "When Ti gets home can I rub her neck/feed her/pet her/ kiss her?"
I tell them no they can't because she isn't alive anymore and I had to take her to the place where they take care of people/pets that have died. They say they understand death and I ask them to tell me and all I get is that it means someone isn't alive anymore but then ask to do things with her so I know they haven't grasped the concept.

I don't even know if I should go into what cremation is or have her box out when I get the ashes back.
I told them we would talk about it more tomorrow when Mummy wasn't so exhausted.

So, ladies, can you give me any ideas or tell me how you did things and what worked and what didn't? I'm at a loss!
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by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:07 PM
Replies (41-47):
UxorQuodMatris.
by Ruby Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 11:51 AM
Was he a family member?

Quoting StrawberryCool:

Yup.



When Joe paterno died last year.



She was three Amd understood.
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MaturingMommy
by Bronze Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 11:54 AM
My fiancées brother who was 17 died last may. Rocked our entire community. My son was just 3 and we explained to him that uncle bah moved to heavan with God and he is watchingout for him. It was hard because he asked if he could go to heavan and visit. I cried for hours cause I didn't know how to explain that if he visited heavan he couldn't come back. Right now he believes his uncle bah is playing video games with God. I think that's all he needs to know. We are naming our daughter after him so she will grow up knowing Lucas was an amazing person who touched everyone in a positive way and she is named after him.
gamelas
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 11:56 AM

For us death is part of life.  It is just a special as birth and we treat as such and talk about it openly.  We have had fish, cats, guinnea pigs, and grandparents, and "parent aged" adult friends die.  It all started when they were 2 and they have been to funerals and graveside services.  They are now 6,6,and 7.  I had to put our cat down when they were 3,3, and 4 and I brought him home so they COULD see him and say goodbye.  We have also answered the "Are you going to dfie mommy" questions.  The reality is YES, I am going to die and I don't know when or where, or how, but when it's m,y time I will go, but until then I am going to love and enjoy every minute of YOU and LIFE!  When we talk about it - we always talk about appreciating and celebrating life.

 

If you have explained it and they keep asking, I would jsut answer simple "no, birdie is in "heaven" (or however you chosoe to explain it) and let it pass.  If they are really little they may not fully grasp it yet.

StrawberryCool
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 12:02 PM

nope.  

but we are big fans of the school. and she knew who he was because we have books, and she watched the games since she was a baby.

Quoting UxorQuodMatris.:

Was he a family member?

Quoting StrawberryCool:

Yup.



When Joe paterno died last year.



She was three Amd understood.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 9, 2013 at 12:02 PM

Mine had a friend whose little sister died of cancer, so she knows what it is on a superficial level.  She's getting really morbid about it, saying she hopes the dog dies soon, and she's obsessed with dead animals and things like that.  She knows what it is but it doesn't really appear she understands the emotional implications.

cLanief
by Ruby Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 12:04 PM
Yup when my sons golf fish died. He was very excited to flush him down the potty to fishy heaven when he was 4 or 5. Also had him watch all dogs go to heaven lol
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Mom2Boys9501
by Gold Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 12:05 PM

 I've had it many times. Just had to talk to them again yesterday because my pastor's almost 4 month old grandson (4 months Friday) was found not breathing in his crib Monday and is in the hospital fighting for his life. Except I'm waiting to find out if they took him off life support today. Apparently from what I was told he turned over in his crib and his mom found him not breathing.

Granted they being 17 and almost 12 understand it but it still sucks to have to talk about it.

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