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step parents/baby mothers.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

so dh and his ex have a almost 9 year old son together. i have been in his life 8 years and 3 months (ss) he came to live with us last year , went to school here completed 2nd grade as a a student. i put him on my health dental and vision insurance, made sure he had his 6 month dental checkups, his physicals and was up to date on his shots, i clothe him i feed him i do and grade home work with him (as does dad) basically ALL the things a mom would do with their child.. i love him like his is my own. 

his mother though i can stand. she has had 7 children one of which she gave up for adoption. she is only 28 years old. since i have been in the picture she has had only one job for 6 months at walmart. and she gets child support and food stamps all the goverment assistance out there. she is a welfare queen. i feel like she is just having babies (4 different BD;s by the way) for the cs and state assistance. so last year i file taxes. i file married of course that is what i am, and also head of household. 2400.00 comes out of my taxes .. for back CS. now dh and i was aware he was on child support, he paid it and she took him off of child support in the state we live in, i know this because i was in the court room when dh was relieved of any arrears and furture CS payments. so where does this come from? ANOTHER state. she was getting cash assistance and food stamps from another state while she got CS from a different state. 

we had no clue , we didnt even know that shit was legal. so we call her up she says "oh yea i forgot to warn you about that" i flip out like im caring for your child and you mean to tell me you forget to warn me about 2400.00 in money owed for assistance you was getting back in 2008? so now i had to go through this year long process of some stupid form i had to file to get the money back which it takes 180 days to recieve it, its past that time and i still havent , and the irs is the hardest shit to deal with when getting back money owed to you. 

i hate this bitch and now she has ss living with her this year , when the agreement was she would send him back after summer vacation.how can dh and i just get full custody of ss? 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 9, 2013 at 7:35 PM
Replies (21-30):
TheGiggleGang
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 11:51 PM

By no means am i saying you shouldn't care YOU SHOULD CARE!!! what i'm saying sometimes court well they dont care about the step Parent they only care about the BIO parents!!! they wouldn't even let my husband in the court room in pilly becasue he wasn't related to my son ( took the ex back for NON payment of CS)   even though he's the one paying the bills for this child because his dad wont pay his support.....   I can understand her Being Lazy if she has 6 kids and not working use it to you advanage......   you can't support 6 kids with no job and i know damn well she can't be recieveing that much support my oldest recieves 200.00 a month (has 2 other kids and 2 more on the way) my middle son (ex husband) only had the one he's order to pay 350 a month but doesn't pay any but for each support they have to take into consideration other other support ordered and even the NON working parent had be to entered in at MIN wage because they can find a Min wage Job...  

CPS came to your house.......   what i would do Invest in a Bed for him not a blow up bed that way when you take her to court you can tell them Hey i have a bed and a furnished room for this child he will be well cared for at my home.... was he claiming he sleeps on the floor at your home or at her home???  

Quoting Anonymous:

i knwo you may not be personally trying to upset me, and im sorry if it comes off that way i just hate more than anything for a person to basically tell me a child that i claim as my own blood to not be my buisness ONLY when it comes to wanting custody or getting legal.. kwim? as for the baby mother she has no history of drugs etc that i know of she is just lazy i mean literally lazy. in your case i can fully understand why you recieve assistance im ok with that.. (not that you need my approval) but in her case .. why cant she work, there is nothing wrong with her.. she has been saying shes going to school to be  nurse for the last 8 years lol. i dont get it. i dont get how i can work so hard to helo provide for her and my dh son but she just lays on her back and pops out more babies and recieves more checks. my ss did live with us full time . but on summer of last year he went to visit his mother she lives in georigia we live close to philly , it was only suppose to be for the summer, but she kept him and said she missed him and she only wants him to go to school down there for that year. so we all agreed. she just had a run in with cps, she texted my dh the other night saying.. " ____ is going round telling people he sleep on the floor, cps came to my door today and looked all around my house, i told her that he sleeps on a blow up bed, lol she said he was cute , i was pissed." exact words. 

Quoting TheGiggleGang:

I'm Sorry I'm not trying to Upset you ok So Does your SS Live with you and your Husband Full time 


and you aren't the only SP that Does what you have done I have three boys My Husband is more of a Father to my older boys then either of the BD are.... There alot of things i'mnot proud of My sons Recieve State assiance but they are both Diabalied I Can't work because.... of that reason i spend more time in and out of Doctors then i do in my own Home....  My Husband has been in my Sons lives since they were 1 and almost 3.....   when Medical Choices Need to be made for my boys myself and my husband makes them we have no Contact with my oldest sons father for 3 1/2 years now (HIS CHOICE) and My ex husband and NEVER had anything to do with his son (EVER!!!)   So to My hubby they are HIS sons.....  


Does mom have a History i see she has 6 kids has she used Drugs? Drinks to Much? had any Contact with Children's Protective Services?

Quoting Anonymous:

im not against retrieving child support if my BD was a dead beat his ass would be on it too.. im against having 6 children and no job but only source of income being that of child support and the state. and its not his affairs i have been a mother to my ss since he was 10 months old. i have done way more than any step parent has probably ever done for a kid.. its our buisness now. and has been for many years. when the baby mother calls she ask for me her choice not mine. 

Quoting Anonymous:

You take her in and say i want custody and explain why... That you were relieved of child support but she hid the fact she owed another state 2400.00 and that your taxes were taken but honestly u would and will have to prove her unfit....... i understand u guys are married but thats his child and i understand where u both come from him and bio mom...... My ex tried to tell a judge i was unfit for using childsupport to help keep a roof over our heads when i was in low income houseing raising two babies with lots of medical issues he wanted full custody he was denyed for many eeason but mostly because he could not prove that i was a unfit mother

Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting TheGiggleGang:

Go to court

ok. and say what what is legal grounds to get full custody.





Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 9, 2013 at 11:56 PM

no he was claiming to be sleeping on the floor at her home. we have a house and he has his own room, its the cutest deigned with spider man and the hulk :) i miss him being in there.. any who. yeah she cant be getting but so much in CS but with 6 kids you figure 6 x 200 is 1200 a month not including state assistance and food stamps she has section 8 which means her rent should only be around 100 a month.. so hey she must be getting by.. and i hear what your saying luckily so far i havent dealt with not being able to be "involved" as of yet im sure if she pressed it as an issue i could have been removed from the court room when i was present as well.

Quoting TheGiggleGang:

By no means am i saying you shouldn't care YOU SHOULD CARE!!! what i'm saying sometimes court well they dont care about the step Parent they only care about the BIO parents!!! they wouldn't even let my husband in the court room in pilly becasue he wasn't related to my son ( took the ex back for NON payment of CS)   even though he's the one paying the bills for this child because his dad wont pay his support.....   I can understand her Being Lazy if she has 6 kids and not working use it to you advanage......   you can't support 6 kids with no job and i know damn well she can't be recieveing that much support my oldest recieves 200.00 a month (has 2 other kids and 2 more on the way) my middle son (ex husband) only had the one he's order to pay 350 a month but doesn't pay any but for each support they have to take into consideration other other support ordered and even the NON working parent had be to entered in at MIN wage because they can find a Min wage Job...  

CPS came to your house.......   what i would do Invest in a Bed for him not a blow up bed that way when you take her to court you can tell them Hey i have a bed and a furnished room for this child he will be well cared for at my home.... was he claiming he sleeps on the floor at your home or at her home???  

Quoting Anonymous:

i knwo you may not be personally trying to upset me, and im sorry if it comes off that way i just hate more than anything for a person to basically tell me a child that i claim as my own blood to not be my buisness ONLY when it comes to wanting custody or getting legal.. kwim? as for the baby mother she has no history of drugs etc that i know of she is just lazy i mean literally lazy. in your case i can fully understand why you recieve assistance im ok with that.. (not that you need my approval) but in her case .. why cant she work, there is nothing wrong with her.. she has been saying shes going to school to be  nurse for the last 8 years lol. i dont get it. i dont get how i can work so hard to helo provide for her and my dh son but she just lays on her back and pops out more babies and recieves more checks. my ss did live with us full time . but on summer of last year he went to visit his mother she lives in georigia we live close to philly , it was only suppose to be for the summer, but she kept him and said she missed him and she only wants him to go to school down there for that year. so we all agreed. she just had a run in with cps, she texted my dh the other night saying.. " ____ is going round telling people he sleep on the floor, cps came to my door today and looked all around my house, i told her that he sleeps on a blow up bed, lol she said he was cute , i was pissed." exact words. 

Quoting TheGiggleGang:

I'm Sorry I'm not trying to Upset you ok So Does your SS Live with you and your Husband Full time 


and you aren't the only SP that Does what you have done I have three boys My Husband is more of a Father to my older boys then either of the BD are.... There alot of things i'mnot proud of My sons Recieve State assiance but they are both Diabalied I Can't work because.... of that reason i spend more time in and out of Doctors then i do in my own Home....  My Husband has been in my Sons lives since they were 1 and almost 3.....   when Medical Choices Need to be made for my boys myself and my husband makes them we have no Contact with my oldest sons father for 3 1/2 years now (HIS CHOICE) and My ex husband and NEVER had anything to do with his son (EVER!!!)   So to My hubby they are HIS sons.....  


Does mom have a History i see she has 6 kids has she used Drugs? Drinks to Much? had any Contact with Children's Protective Services?

Quoting Anonymous:

im not against retrieving child support if my BD was a dead beat his ass would be on it too.. im against having 6 children and no job but only source of income being that of child support and the state. and its not his affairs i have been a mother to my ss since he was 10 months old. i have done way more than any step parent has probably ever done for a kid.. its our buisness now. and has been for many years. when the baby mother calls she ask for me her choice not mine. 

Quoting Anonymous:

You take her in and say i want custody and explain why... That you were relieved of child support but she hid the fact she owed another state 2400.00 and that your taxes were taken but honestly u would and will have to prove her unfit....... i understand u guys are married but thats his child and i understand where u both come from him and bio mom...... My ex tried to tell a judge i was unfit for using childsupport to help keep a roof over our heads when i was in low income houseing raising two babies with lots of medical issues he wanted full custody he was denyed for many eeason but mostly because he could not prove that i was a unfit mother

Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting TheGiggleGang:

Go to court

ok. and say what what is legal grounds to get full custody.






Dzyre1115
by Desiree` on Jan. 10, 2013 at 6:49 AM
1 mom liked this

 If you are doing all of that, that's on you, you let your husband do nothing while you handle HIS business, what a loser he must be!  Next MAN please, this time please keep the boys!

Quoting Anonymous:

 

Quoting Dzyre1115:

 Your husband needs to be handling HIS business. 

fuck out of here with that his buisness bull shit if i can, change diapers, cook food, buy food, buy clothes , buy games, go to ball games , sit at parent teacher confrences, drive and pick up from school, pay for his health and medical and dental insurance, plus many more its OUR fucking buisness, and to top it off it was 2400.00 that came from MY taxes. NEXT POST PLEASE

 

Litlmama87
by Platinum Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 7:05 AM
Sooo...YOU pay X, YOU pay Y, & YOU pay Z for this child...

Wtf does your husband do? Does he not work?



Why is money coming out of YOUR taxes?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 10, 2013 at 7:49 AM
Its hard to have sympathy for someone in here calling names (the only one doing so) and trying to act hard via anon option.

As much as you've paid and whatever, courts are not going to give two shits about that...I know because I've been there.
Ad much as you believe it to be your business, its you're dh's legal responsibility to do what needs to be done, not yours.


Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting Reepicheep.CSL:

Quoting Anonymous:




Lol, so he slept with a woman, got her pregnant, threw money at her for an abortion and then didn't follow up to see if he had a child. Winner!

no stupid girl who seems to be extremely interested with my husband, he had sex with a woman, who wanted an abortion, he AGREED to an abortion gave her the money for an abortion, went to the army . came back had a son and handled his responsibilties like a man ever since. found a bad ass woman like me who kept up with that responsibilty.  you dont know shit because you my have a fucked up little household with a duchbag for a husband doesnt mean every other woman will. watch your mouth bitch and dont disrespect my husband you dont know him and you dont know me. 


WithHope
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 8:00 AM
At the point her money was taken I'd say it became her business...


Quoting Dzyre1115:

 Your husband needs to be handling HIS business. 


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
RobinBright
by Platinum Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 8:06 AM
I'm pretty sure you can't file HOH and and married.... Just a side note.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 10, 2013 at 8:13 AM
Why would he?

You sound like a bitter as bm. Bd is ALWAYS wrong and a loser. Stfu already with the bullshit.

Quoting Reepicheep.CSL:

Quoting Anonymous:




Lol, so he slept with a woman, got her pregnant, threw money at her for an abortion and then didn't follow up to see if he had a child. Winner!
Kool_Aide
by Gold Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 8:15 AM

That's sad :(

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 10, 2013 at 8:23 AM
You can't. We go through this here every tax season lol

Quoting RobinBright:

I'm pretty sure you can't file HOH and and married.... Just a side note.

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