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step parents/baby mothers.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

so dh and his ex have a almost 9 year old son together. i have been in his life 8 years and 3 months (ss) he came to live with us last year , went to school here completed 2nd grade as a a student. i put him on my health dental and vision insurance, made sure he had his 6 month dental checkups, his physicals and was up to date on his shots, i clothe him i feed him i do and grade home work with him (as does dad) basically ALL the things a mom would do with their child.. i love him like his is my own. 

his mother though i can stand. she has had 7 children one of which she gave up for adoption. she is only 28 years old. since i have been in the picture she has had only one job for 6 months at walmart. and she gets child support and food stamps all the goverment assistance out there. she is a welfare queen. i feel like she is just having babies (4 different BD;s by the way) for the cs and state assistance. so last year i file taxes. i file married of course that is what i am, and also head of household. 2400.00 comes out of my taxes .. for back CS. now dh and i was aware he was on child support, he paid it and she took him off of child support in the state we live in, i know this because i was in the court room when dh was relieved of any arrears and furture CS payments. so where does this come from? ANOTHER state. she was getting cash assistance and food stamps from another state while she got CS from a different state. 

we had no clue , we didnt even know that shit was legal. so we call her up she says "oh yea i forgot to warn you about that" i flip out like im caring for your child and you mean to tell me you forget to warn me about 2400.00 in money owed for assistance you was getting back in 2008? so now i had to go through this year long process of some stupid form i had to file to get the money back which it takes 180 days to recieve it, its past that time and i still havent , and the irs is the hardest shit to deal with when getting back money owed to you. 

i hate this bitch and now she has ss living with her this year , when the agreement was she would send him back after summer vacation.how can dh and i just get full custody of ss? 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 9, 2013 at 7:35 PM
Replies (41-50):
RobinBright
by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 5:19 PM

Married people are not legally allowed to file as Head of Household.  It's clearly spelled out in the IRS publication 501.  It doesn't matter if your spouse does not work, you are still required to either file "married filing jointly" or "married filing single."

Quoting Anonymous:

what u claimed was head of household , my husband my niece (whom i was caring for that year while her mother was in rehabilitation,) and my ss. my dh wasnt working at the time , because he was physically unable to. maybe im using the wrong verbage but that is what i believed it to be.

Quoting RobinBright:

Head of household.  It is a tax filing status that only single people with qualifying dependents can use.  Married couples often use it mistakenly. 

Quoting Anonymous:

whats hoh?

Quoting RobinBright:

Thought so!


Quoting Anonymous:

You can't. We go through this here every tax season lol



Quoting RobinBright:

I'm pretty sure you can't file HOH and be married.... Just a side note.







Keep an open mind--
but not so open that your brain falls out. 

erica7227
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 5:21 PM
I can't for the life of me understand why people are bashing you. Wtf? You sound like you have your shit together & are helping to raise a great kid.


Quoting Anonymous:

thank you, i cant seem to understand how and when people in this world thought it to be worng to be apart of a childs life that is not carrying your blood. sad 


Quoting erica7227:

Good for you :)





Quoting Anonymous:




Quoting Dzyre1115:

 Your husband needs to be handling HIS business. 

fuck out of here with that his buisness bull shit if i can, change diapers, cook food, buy food, buy clothes , buy games, go to ball games , sit at parent teacher confrences, drive and pick up from school, pay for his health and medical and dental insurance, plus many more its OUR fucking buisness, and to top it off it was 2400.00 that came from MY taxes. NEXT POST PLEASE





Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 13, 2013 at 5:21 PM

what i filed was married jointly, i automatically thought that because he didnt work it was a "head of household status" maybe i was wrong there , thanks for the information. i know the correct term to use in the future.

Quoting RobinBright:

Married people are not legally allowed to file as Head of Household.  It's clearly spelled out in the IRS publication 501.  It doesn't matter if your spouse does not work, you are still required to either file "married filing jointly" or "married filing single."

Quoting Anonymous:

what u claimed was head of household , my husband my niece (whom i was caring for that year while her mother was in rehabilitation,) and my ss. my dh wasnt working at the time , because he was physically unable to. maybe im using the wrong verbage but that is what i believed it to be.

Quoting RobinBright:

Head of household.  It is a tax filing status that only single people with qualifying dependents can use.  Married couples often use it mistakenly. 

Quoting Anonymous:

whats hoh?

Quoting RobinBright:

Thought so!


Quoting Anonymous:

You can't. We go through this here every tax season lol



Quoting RobinBright:

I'm pretty sure you can't file HOH and be married.... Just a side note.








RobinBright
by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 5:22 PM

No problem, a lot of people make that mistake--- and also, a lot of people on CM file HOH illegally and pretend it is okay, lol.  Sounds like your case would be with you filing married/joint, with you as the lead tax payer and your husband as a dependent.  

Quoting Anonymous:

what i filed was married jointly, i automatically thought that because he didnt work it was a "head of household status" maybe i was there , thanks for the information. i know the correct term to use in the future.

Quoting RobinBright:

Married people are not legally allowed to file as Head of Household.  It's clearly spelled out in the IRS publication 501.  It doesn't matter if your spouse does not work, you are still required to either file "married filing jointly" or "married filing single."

Keep an open mind--
but not so open that your brain falls out. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 13, 2013 at 5:23 PM

lol i dont know either ... maybe the women bashing me are the ones on the other side of the fence, you know the baby mommas who dont have their shit together. but i dont care what these women have to say , my dh is a wonderful strong MAN. My ss is a great step son, and i try to be a good woman regarding any situation so .. screw the rest of these women.

Quoting erica7227:

I can't for the life of me understand why people are bashing you. Wtf? You sound like you have your shit together & are helping to raise a great kid.


Quoting Anonymous:

thank you, i cant seem to understand how and when people in this world thought it to be worng to be apart of a childs life that is not carrying your blood. sad 


Quoting erica7227:

Good for you :)





Quoting Anonymous:




Quoting Dzyre1115:

 Your husband needs to be handling HIS business. 

fuck out of here with that his buisness bull shit if i can, change diapers, cook food, buy food, buy clothes , buy games, go to ball games , sit at parent teacher confrences, drive and pick up from school, pay for his health and medical and dental insurance, plus many more its OUR fucking buisness, and to top it off it was 2400.00 that came from MY taxes. NEXT POST PLEASE






Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 13, 2013 at 5:24 PM
1 mom liked this

lol oh see i learn something new everyday. this was my first year filing taxes i was a sahm before my dh was in his accident so im still learning alot.

Quoting RobinBright:

No problem, a lot of people make that mistake--- and also, a lot of people on CM file HOH illegally and pretend it is okay, lol.  Sounds like your case would be with you filing married/joint, with you as the lead tax payer and your husband as a dependent.  

Quoting Anonymous:

what i filed was married jointly, i automatically thought that because he didnt work it was a "head of household status" maybe i was there , thanks for the information. i know the correct term to use in the future.

Quoting RobinBright:

Married people are not legally allowed to file as Head of Household.  It's clearly spelled out in the IRS publication 501.  It doesn't matter if your spouse does not work, you are still required to either file "married filing jointly" or "married filing single."


Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 13, 2013 at 5:38 PM
Anon or not, I have been on BOTH sides of the fence I know damn good and well that all you sticking your nose in to it is gonna do, is make it worse....it's your husband job to defend himself against his ex.

But in here, you sound childish and if this is how worked up you get in response to people on the internet, I can only imagine how hyper-dramatic you get irl.


Quoting Anonymous:

and this response comes from a ANON. youre damn right i am going to call names when my dh is being bashed for no reason. this woman doesnt know either one of us. its a sad day when a woman just allows her husband to be disrespected when he doesnt deserve it.


Quoting Anonymous:

Its hard to have sympathy for someone in here calling names (the only one doing so) and trying to act hard via anon option.



As much as you've paid and whatever, courts are not going to give two shits about that...I know because I've been there.

Ad much as you believe it to be your business, its you're dh's legal responsibility to do what needs to be done, not yours.





Quoting Anonymous:




Quoting Reepicheep.CSL:

Quoting Anonymous:





Lol, so he slept with a woman, got her pregnant, threw money at her for an abortion and then didn't follow up to see if he had a child. Winner!

no stupid girl who seems to be extremely interested with my husband, he had sex with a woman, who wanted an abortion, he AGREED to an abortion gave her the money for an abortion, went to the army . came back had a son and handled his responsibilties like a man ever since. found a bad ass woman like me who kept up with that responsibilty.  you dont know shit because you my have a fucked up little household with a duchbag for a husband doesnt mean every other woman will. watch your mouth bitch and dont disrespect my husband you dont know him and you dont know me. 





Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 13, 2013 at 5:44 PM

if you been on both sides of the fence then , more than any other woman you should understand that im a genuine person who genuinely cares for a ss. and as far as it goes by you saying im stiking my nose in it is rude, ive been helping in raise this child for the last 8 years, ive already established with the bio mom that my ss is my buisness as well, because you or any other woman may not be secure enough to deal with a good woman loving and caring for your child does not make me wrong with anything im saying, or asking. and as far as how i reacted to the BITCH who disrespected my husband is none of your concern im sure she can handle her own arguments. she had no right in calling my dh out. neither does any woman on here, i never brought him up why should she. and irl words wouldnt be spoken point blank, i defend my husband and my kids. in any situation irl or on the internet.

Quoting Anonymous:

Anon or not, I have been on BOTH sides of the fence I know damn good and well that all you sticking your nose in to it is gonna do, is make it worse....it's your husband job to defend himself against his ex.

But in here, you sound childish and if this is how worked up you get in response to people on the internet, I can only imagine how hyper-dramatic you get irl.


Quoting Anonymous:

and this response comes from a ANON. youre damn right i am going to call names when my dh is being bashed for no reason. this woman doesnt know either one of us. its a sad day when a woman just allows her husband to be disrespected when he doesnt deserve it.


Quoting Anonymous:

Its hard to have sympathy for someone in here calling names (the only one doing so) and trying to act hard via anon option.



As much as you've paid and whatever, courts are not going to give two shits about that...I know because I've been there.

Ad much as you believe it to be your business, its you're dh's legal responsibility to do what needs to be done, not yours.





Quoting Anonymous:




Quoting Reepicheep.CSL:

Quoting Anonymous:





Lol, so he slept with a woman, got her pregnant, threw money at her for an abortion and then didn't follow up to see if he had a child. Winner!

no stupid girl who seems to be extremely interested with my husband, he had sex with a woman, who wanted an abortion, he AGREED to an abortion gave her the money for an abortion, went to the army . came back had a son and handled his responsibilties like a man ever since. found a bad ass woman like me who kept up with that responsibilty.  you dont know shit because you my have a fucked up little household with a duchbag for a husband doesnt mean every other woman will. watch your mouth bitch and dont disrespect my husband you dont know him and you dont know me. 






Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 13, 2013 at 5:54 PM
Raising a child as your own doesn't give your the right to try and deal with your husbands ex or to try and force him to do it either.

I wouldn't start trying to tell anybody who is secure with what, I'm not getting worked up and calling names...that speaks more of insecurity than anything.



Like a grown up, when I was married to my ex, his dealings with his first ex wife, was HIS business and not my place to stick my nose regardless of the fact that I had potty trained BOTH of her kids, took them to their first day of elementary school and middle school, calmed their nerves before their first school dance with a girl etc etc.



As a woman, I knew my place was to support him as best I could and running my mouth wasn't one if those ways.



Quoting Anonymous:

if you been on both sides of the fence then , more than any other woman you should understand that im a genuine person who genuinely cares for a ss. and as far as it goes by you saying im stiking my nose in it is rude, ive been helping in raise this child for the last 8 years, ive already established with the bio mom that my ss is my buisness as well, because you or any other woman may not be secure enough to deal with a good woman loving and caring for your child does not make me wrong with anything im saying, or asking. and as far as how i reacted to the BITCH who disrespected my husband is none of your concern im sure she can handle her own arguments. she had no right in calling my dh out. neither does any woman on here, i never brought him up why should she. and irl words wouldnt be spoken point blank, i defend my husband and my kids. in any situation irl or on the internet.



Quoting Anonymous:

Anon or not, I have been on BOTH sides of the fence I know damn good and well that all you sticking your nose in to it is gonna do, is make it worse....it's your husband job to defend himself against his ex.





But in here, you sound childish and if this is how worked up you get in response to people on the internet, I can only imagine how hyper-dramatic you get irl.








Quoting Anonymous:

and this response comes from a ANON. youre damn right i am going to call names when my dh is being bashed for no reason. this woman doesnt know either one of us. its a sad day when a woman just allows her husband to be disrespected when he doesnt deserve it.




Quoting Anonymous:

Its hard to have sympathy for someone in here calling names (the only one doing so) and trying to act hard via anon option.







As much as you've paid and whatever, courts are not going to give two shits about that...I know because I've been there.



Ad much as you believe it to be your business, its you're dh's legal responsibility to do what needs to be done, not yours.











Quoting Anonymous:






Quoting Reepicheep.CSL:

Quoting Anonymous:







Lol, so he slept with a woman, got her pregnant, threw money at her for an abortion and then didn't follow up to see if he had a child. Winner!

no stupid girl who seems to be extremely interested with my husband, he had sex with a woman, who wanted an abortion, he AGREED to an abortion gave her the money for an abortion, went to the army . came back had a son and handled his responsibilties like a man ever since. found a bad ass woman like me who kept up with that responsibilty.  you dont know shit because you my have a fucked up little household with a duchbag for a husband doesnt mean every other woman will. watch your mouth bitch and dont disrespect my husband you dont know him and you dont know me. 












Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 13, 2013 at 6:00 PM

what makes you think this is something my  dh and i havent decided together? what maes you think that attempting to gain custodsy is something im forcing on my husband? it seems to me that your basing your responses off of asumptions. If my ss or any CHILD is in a living condition that is one that i know is not a healthy one or not one that they should be in i would do the right thing by attempting to get them in a livable situation in my case i want my ss to live with us, because i know we can take better care of him. a REAL woman speaks up and not keeps her mouth shut when things seem to not be right. if my dh asked me 8 years ago to help him raise a child that isnt mine then wtf would i keep my mouth shut? this isnt the 70's any more my dear. real woman, speak when needed. you tell me when a better time would be. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Raising a child as your own doesn't give your the right to try and deal with your husbands ex or to try and force him to do it either.
I wouldn't start trying to tell anybody who is secure with what, I'm not getting worked up and calling names...that speaks more of insecurity than anything.

Like a grown up, when I was married to my ex, his dealings with his first ex wife, was HIS business and not my place to stick my nose regardless of the fact that I hag potty trained BOTH of her kids, took them to their first day of elementary school and middle school, calmed their nerves before their first school dance with a girl etc etc.

As a woman, I knew my place was to support him as best I could and running my mouth wasn't one if those ways.


Quoting Anonymous:

if you been on both sides of the fence then , more than any other woman you should understand that im a genuine person who genuinely cares for a ss. and as far as it goes by you saying im stiking my nose in it is rude, ive been helping in raise this child for the last 8 years, ive already established with the bio mom that my ss is my buisness as well, because you or any other woman may not be secure enough to deal with a good woman loving and caring for your child does not make me wrong with anything im saying, or asking. and as far as how i reacted to the BITCH who disrespected my husband is none of your concern im sure she can handle her own arguments. she had no right in calling my dh out. neither does any woman on here, i never brought him up why should she. and irl words wouldnt be spoken point blank, i defend my husband and my kids. in any situation irl or on the internet.


Quoting Anonymous:

Anon or not, I have been on BOTH sides of the fence I know damn good and well that all you sticking your nose in to it is gonna do, is make it worse....it's your husband job to defend himself against his ex.



But in here, you sound childish and if this is how worked up you get in response to people on the internet, I can only imagine how hyper-dramatic you get irl.





Quoting Anonymous:

and this response comes from a ANON. youre damn right i am going to call names when my dh is being bashed for no reason. this woman doesnt know either one of us. its a sad day when a woman just allows her husband to be disrespected when he doesnt deserve it.



Quoting Anonymous:

Its hard to have sympathy for someone in here calling names (the only one doing so) and trying to act hard via anon option.





As much as you've paid and whatever, courts are not going to give two shits about that...I know because I've been there.


Ad much as you believe it to be your business, its you're dh's legal responsibility to do what needs to be done, not yours.








Quoting Anonymous:





Quoting Reepicheep.CSL:

Quoting Anonymous:






Lol, so he slept with a woman, got her pregnant, threw money at her for an abortion and then didn't follow up to see if he had a child. Winner!

no stupid girl who seems to be extremely interested with my husband, he had sex with a woman, who wanted an abortion, he AGREED to an abortion gave her the money for an abortion, went to the army . came back had a son and handled his responsibilties like a man ever since. found a bad ass woman like me who kept up with that responsibilty.  you dont know shit because you my have a fucked up little household with a duchbag for a husband doesnt mean every other woman will. watch your mouth bitch and dont disrespect my husband you dont know him and you dont know me. 










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