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A question about 13 yr old girls

Posted by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:51 AM
  • 62 Replies

Ok my daughter is 13 going through normal teen drama.My question is should I get involved and try to solve the problems ? Can I ask too many questions that might push her away and make her not want to talk to me ? The rules I have set up at our home is this (we also have an 11 yr old daughter) I monitor both phones,texts mssgs,facebook etc to make sure nothing inappropriate is going on,they have set times to be on the phones/computers. Am I over protective ? She knows she can talk to me about whatever whenever...any advice.

by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:51 AM
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Replies (1-10):
butterflyk1ssez
by Silver Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:53 AM
1 mom liked this

Way over protective. They are never going to get the real teen experience if you keep being over protective and invasive. Teens need their privacy and they need to be able to get in trouble and experiment.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:55 AM
1 mom liked this
I do not have a daughter but what I wanted from my mom was to have the rule "if you ever feel overwhelmed, sad, upset and think you are in a situation you can't get yourself out of you can talk to me... I'll listen and I will not judge... I can't promise i won't be mad but I will try my hardest to understand"

I never go that and wish my mom could have been more human but I got stuck with a judgemental robot
mamamandy420
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:56 AM

 It sounds overprotective to me but im a mom of 2 babies. I wouldnt know till i got to that stage. I started being bad around that age but i knew in my heart what was too bad. If you raised them right you should try and trust her/them to know right from wrong.

peanutsmommy1
by Ruby Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:56 AM

nope, problem solving is part of growing up

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:57 AM
4 moms liked this
By "the real teen experience" you mean what, exactly? Sex? Drugs? Alcohol? Pregnancy?


Quoting butterflyk1ssez:

Way over protective. They are never going to get the real teen experience if you keep being over protective and invasive. Teens need their privacy and they need to be able to get in trouble and experiment.


beaugrl0824
by Gold Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:57 AM
2 moms liked this
13 is an excellent age to start resolving their own issues. You cannot solve everything for her and she needs the life experience to be able to deal with people and conflicts.

If she comes to you offer advice and a listening ear but don't do anything else unless it involves illegal activity or someone is being hurt.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:57 AM

I completely disagree with this.  At their age you should be doing what you are, but maybe back off a little when they are 16ish depending on maturity level.  ETA: Make yourself available for talks, but don't push.

Quoting butterflyk1ssez:

Way over protective. They are never going to get the real teen experience if you keep being over protective and invasive. Teens need their privacy and they need to be able to get in trouble and experiment.


ErikaRobin
by Platinum Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:57 AM

Whoa.  Helicopter.

christyg
by Bronze Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:58 AM

I think its too much monitoring of the messages. Give her a little more space, and let her know that you trust her. She will come to you and tell you more about her life once you aren't reading it all. Why should she bother talking to you now, when you already know everything she says to her friends?

AndrewsMommy01
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 12:00 PM
1 mom liked this

Um really? My son will NOT be on the internet or using a phone I pay for without being monitored by me or my husband at that age. Maybe MAYBE when he is 15-16. But most likely not. There are way to many weirdos and bullying going on. IMO it is stupid to let a teenager have free run on a cell phone or internet.

Quoting butterflyk1ssez:

Way over protective. They are never going to get the real teen experience if you keep being over protective and invasive. Teens need their privacy and they need to be able to get in trouble and experiment.


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