Is not telling inlaws hiding a pregnancy?

[Anonymous]

I haven't been getting along with my husband's parents, so I haven't seen them eight months. My husband used to talk to his mom every day, and his dad every week. He does answer the call if they give him a ring, but he doesn't call them anymore.

I'm pretty early along, so I doubt we'll tell anyone soon. But when we do tell others, we won't be telling his parents.

One of the things that bothers me is that a grown ass woman shouldn't hide her pregnancy. But am I hiding it? Is it a lie by omission?

EDIT: Okay! Thanks. I think what I've decided is going to depend on whether or not my husband tells his brother and sisters we're expecting.  If he does, then I will leave it up to him to tell his parents or not. Because if he doesn't, they will, and they will call him to find out why he didn't tell them. If he doesn't tell them, I will call them, and I will call his parents afterwards. I doubt they will answer, but I will leave voicemail on each other their cell phones. Gosh, I want to type, "Is that good?" I don't know why I feel so uncertain. My husband thinks we should just ignore it unless they directly ask him "Is she pregnant?"

And my state has ruled grandparents' rights to be unconstitutional, so don't worry about that.

And we have no plans to allow them to have an access to their grandchildren until they are aduts, or at least old enough for their own facebook accounts. Whether or not I told them about this pregnancy was never going to change that.

SECOND EDIT: You guys are very right that this is his family. If he decided he would only tell them if he was asked directly, then I should take his lead. Our marriage counselor said we needed to set boundaries if we wanted to keep them in our family life, and he decided he'd rather keep them away from us. So, I need to back off and let him handle his own family his own way. I was being entirely too controlling. Thank you for helping me see that.

[PinkyPan]

Yes

[dbush0584]

Lying by omission is still lying...would you want someone to NOT tell you something that could be important to you?

[angevil53]

It's no ones business but yours. But they'll find out eventually.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

So I should call them up and tell them? Even if we're not planning on letting them be involved?

Quoting dbush0584:

Lying by omission is still lying.

[Dee0886]

I think it's fine to hide it for a while, but maybe in your second trimester let your husband mention it to them. You're still pregnant with their grandchild and I think it would be a little harsh to go through most if not all of your pregnancy without telling them. Thats just my opinion though.

[PinkyPan]

Regardless of your relationship with them they are still grandparents. Whether or not they are involved in your childs life or not is up to you.

Quoting Anonymous:

So I should call them up and tell them? Even if we're not planning on letting them be involved?

Quoting dbush0584:

Lying by omission is still lying.

[amy31308]

You have no obligation to tell them so it's not lying. It's your body you don't have to tell ANYONE you are pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Why won't you be telling them once you let others know?

Don't be mad when there not as close with your child as the could have been.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

We haven't had any problems with my husband's siblings since we married. So I'm sure we'll have a lot of fun telling them about it, once I'm passed the first trimester. And most likely, they'll tell their parents. That's good enough, right?

Quoting angevil53: It's no ones business but yours. But they'll find out eventually.

[angevil53]

Yes there's no law saying you have to tell anyone.

Quoting Anonymous:

We haven't had any problems with my husband's siblings since we married. So I'm sure we'll have a lot of fun telling them about it, once I'm passed the first trimester. And most likely, they'll tell their parents. That's good enough, right?

Quoting angevil53: It's no ones business but yours. But they'll find out eventually.