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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I need help!!

Posted by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 10:09 PM
  • 4 Replies


We are now at the end of our pregnancy this is his first born but our third child I have 2 from a previous relationship. He is an amazing guy but since we got married I have seen someone new in him! We will be married 14 months as of Jan 24th. I bet he wouldn't know that though! He has been very distant let me tell you our "story":


In June 2011 we lost our first baby at 17 weeks it was very sudden and dont know what really happened we ended up splitting up because I was in his words "emotional and I was angry" damn right I was I hated myself I still hate myself for not knowing what happened to her!! We got married in November following after I had time to get back to myself I lost 40 pounds and I was happy finally with myself! Well June 2012 there was a little + sign on that store bought pregnancy test! we didnt announce anything until august. I was scared and honestly still am!! WELL back track just a tad ever since our wedding day my husband would spend every moment he had literally at the computer playing these mythlogical games or anime videos or role play games or XBOX live he said it was his escape from the real world... I want him in the real world as a husband and father like he promised on our wedding day! IT has only gotten WORSE, how could it... he is playing on the computer if not on the computer games on the phone. I was in the hospital for 18 hours the other night in preterm labor and the ENTIRE time he was on the hospital wifi playing GAMES or watching Anime videos! I worked and supported our family by myself for the first 7 months of the pregnancy (prior to being pregnant he supported us and the gaming wasnt terrible I felt like he deserved that personal time cause he did work hard) when I worked is when it went up a huge notch, well Doc put me on bed rest and he FINALLY got a part time BS job that he hates and we get shitty pay!! We are about to lose our house because he wouldnt get off his a** from the computer long enough to actually find a real job.... How can he be so lost in that world that the real world means nothing it seems! I dont know how to talk to him about this because everytime I bring up the conversation it turns in to a heated arguement. So recently I just sit back and ignore it I get so angry about it and I know it shows definatly when I have been in the hospital! There was an instant where my blood pressure was up so high and I SENT HIM HOME the nurses kept me for 6 hours extra so I could have some quite peaceful time without the added stress this situation has caused during this pregnancy. I am at wits end now I dont know how to talk to him anymore we haven't had sex in what seems like months and when we do occassionally (once every 3 months or so) it seems like it is in and out be done!  What do i do??? I am lost in this now!!


by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 10:09 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 11, 2013 at 2:17 AM
1 mom liked this

get rid of the computer games/video games, etc. Remind him of his obligation as a father and husband.  Frankly, I am not against ultimatums.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 11, 2013 at 3:52 AM

BUMP

charliebean
by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 3:55 AM
Perhaps he's depressed about losing your child? Has he seen a therapist?
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CMcLaws
by Platinum Member on Jan. 11, 2013 at 8:32 AM
1 mom liked this
This!! He sounds like he's trying to not really stay involved in your pregnancy, not to hurt you, but because he's afraid the two of you will lose this one, too. I know you're scared as well, but it's different for moms. We can't pretend there's not a little person growing inside us, but men just aren't reminded of it day to day. I know it's stressful on you, but it doesn't sound like he's doing it to be vindictive.

Make sure when you're talking to him about this stuff that you aren't nagging him about it. Like I said, I know it's stressful, but talking to him like a child (not saying you are, just saying in case) simply will not help. Good luck!


Quoting charliebean:

Perhaps he's depressed about losing your child? Has he seen a therapist?
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