We decided on no more birthday parties then he goes behind my back!
Last year was a fun one in our house. January 5th, DS's 4th Birthday SIL has a HUGE fit and is crying hysterically because she doesn't know how they're going to pay for her wedding (which wasn't happening until September), fast forward to March 31st DD's 8th Birthday- MIL flips out on my husband because he had asked if they would cosign a car loan (not that day but earlier in the week) and she flips out because he told her that we didn't want a minivan she found us so if it's going to be a problem just forget about it. Fast forward to June 28th- DD's First Birthday. My family drives in from out of town (3 hours). IL's KNEW her party was that day but made plans anyways. They came to DD's party then were pissy that I should have had a birthday lunch instead of dinner because they had plans. After 3 times of the snarky, nasty comments and fights and DRAMA, I told my husband NO more parties, period. We will spend what we would have on a party to go to dinner (the birthday child gets to choose where they would like to go), and spend the rest on gifts, he agrees. So we take DS to his birthday dinner, spent money on gifts and now DH's family is freaking out and wanted to go to dinner (a week after his birthday)- we don't have the money and told them that. So DH plans a birthday party for DS with FIL tonight at 8pm, and he tells me this at noon- while he's at work. I'm pissed. The year before last they made nasty comments about how we couldn't afford to throw our son a party because we were poor and they "had" to give him a birthday celebration. I don't even know what to say to my DH. He went behind my back and knew better than to tell me in person- to give me time to calm down. But I am still so pissed.
Update: He wont cancel. He is pissed at me because since
"we're not paying for it they can do whatever they want.", now he's pissed at me.