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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

electronics make my kids dumb....

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

We NEVER let the kids get in on our tablets, or more than one episode on TV per week, or the computer (even though my son's first grade teacher at school encourages my son to do about 45 minutes on two different programs once a week. I just won't. He's six.).

They sneak our tablets and cell phones ALL THE FREAKING TIME. Pisses me off. I catch them watching netflix on the tablet like, every day. Or playing a game on my/DH's phone. They don't have any age-appropriate electronics- like a Nintendo DS, or a V-tech or a Leap Frog. No. There is no "age appropriate" screen I am comfortable with. They can learn letters from a workbook, and anything else from me, or school.

My kids are 6, 5 and 3. I see mom's all the time talking about how they use video games and computer time as discipline- or encouragement to be better behaved, or allow them to play for a period of time after the important things are done. 

I let my boys play mario kart on the Wii the other day. I had TONS of school stuff and cleaning and organizing to do, and I thought- okay a few hours, so I can focus without them fighting. 

When it was time to stop for meals, for potty breaks, for ANYTHING... they screamed, threw tantrums, acted like fools and threw me a nasty attitude. Um, no.  Where are my kids?! What happened to order and sanity?!

Then, I told  them to bundle up and head outside. They literally SAT THERE for 30 minutes. They had no idea what to do. The day before, they spent the whole day imagining things, playing super heroes, jumping off ledges and chasing each other with the dogs. Today... nothing. They had like ZERO capacity for imaginative play.

And yes, I blame electronics. When more creative minds create a system that does the imagining FOR them, they'd rather sit in that little world, content to let someone else do the work, and be entertained.

Sorry... not my kids. I'm so mad at myself for letting them play as long as I did. And now the Tablets are going up high every time DH and I are not using them, my cell is staying ON MY PERSONS and the computer screen will be LOCKED when not in use. TV requires permission from BOTH parents, no movies, no TV... no way.

I refuse to have zombies with bad attitudes for children.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 11, 2013 at 12:47 PM
Replies (21-30):
jillbailey26
by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 2:48 PM
2 moms liked this

It's a simple search.  Just type "video game benefits for children".  Here's a link (pdf) and another link to get you started.  The world is slowly moving towards technology.  A friend of mine is in college and needed an iPad for classes.  It's just how it is and has been going for more than 50 years.

When I said "It SEEMS like you don't let them play that often" I meant video games, movies, TV, etc.  Ya know, because that's what the subject matter is.

So what you're saying is, TV and other electronics are okay to babysit your kids while you enjoy quiet time or while you clean and do school stuff?  Yet any other time it's evil, bad, horrible behavior inducing TV.  Except family time, of course.

Quoting Anonymous:

I'd be interested in seeing this "proof".

Cuz oddly enough, parents have been raising their kids without electronics for hundreds of years... it's not like it's some kind of weird, crazy idea.

Like i don't let them play at all? Is that what you're saying when you said "You don't let them play that often"? They play. They play with each other, toys, books, coloring, workbooks, chores etc.

The last time they watched a movie was.... my son watched "Avatar" two days ago because he got up REALLY early for some reason and since he wouldn't go back to sleep, we opted for quiet time. My daughter and preschooler watched "Cinderella" the day after Christmas... and as a family we watched "Dispicable me the weekend AFTER Christmas.

TV is either a family event, a constructive event, or a rare reward.

We opt for everything EXCEPT TV as long as possible.

Quoting jillbailey26:

It's been proven that moderate screen time with video games or handheld games can be beneficial.  

They threw tantrums and sneak it because you don't have boundaries set up for when they play.  It also seems like you don't let them play that often.

Mine play on the computer for one hour on Friday and another on Saturday.  They earn video game time through the week and they play for up to an hour (depending on grades and behavior) on Friday.  The boys have kindles.  They can play with apps (games) for an hour and reading is unlimited.  They can watch TV whenever they want, however long they want.  

They're not zombies, they CHOOSE to go outside and play.  They'll even stop in the middle of their video game time to go out and play.  And they rarely have bad attitudes.

To me, you're holding them back.  Especially in an age where everything is going digital.  They're your kids though.  It is funny that you blame the electronics though.  They're objects.  I can assure you that the blame is being focused on the wrong thing.




"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19

TAG_ur_it
by Platinum Member on Jan. 11, 2013 at 2:50 PM
1 mom liked this

my son uses our nook to read.  his reading level went from 3.1 to 5.1 in just a couple of months.  he can use it as much as he wants.  

cassie19831
by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 2:52 PM
1 mom liked this

Well I bought my son a tablet that he will get on his 2nd birthday. We live in different times then when I was a kid. Kids are more technical and it provides education often. But then again I don't have a stick up my ass about it like yourself.

jillbailey26
by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 2:55 PM
2 moms liked this

And I love the "hundreds of years" line.  There are tons of things we didn't have 100 years ago.  Cell phones, zip codes, refrigeration, doorbells, electricity, microwaves, ovens, air conditioning, flashlights, etc.  I'm sure you, OP, have at least two or three of those.  I guess you should do away with it, since it's not needed.  Because after all people raised their kids without all of it.


"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19

AutymsMommy
by Platinum Member on Jan. 11, 2013 at 2:55 PM

Do you consider that they go overboard when it is allowed, because it's so forbidden otherwise?

My children are allowed unfettered access to their electronics (they have ipads, ds', playstations, other tablets, television, etc). There's never an issue putting it down and they readily do so very often - to play outside, run errands with mom, build blocks and legos, etc. That we do not restrict definitely doesn't mean that they are glued to it (well, at least ours aren't). Because it isn't restricted, they are never pining for it - which means they easily let it go when necessary. KWIM?

I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee














Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 11, 2013 at 3:09 PM

honestly I don't care WHY they act like fools. It won't be happening in my house.

The mentality you are talking about here is the same mentality with teen sex. If you restrict it and make it off limits they will pine for it- so why not just let them have at it, so it won't seem so appealing and important?!

Heh... no. I won't take that stance. And I don't agree that this is why, either. My kid is interested because I feel like our society makes electronics seem appealing. They look fun. They ARE fun because they have games, videos, tv shows, etc... they want them and get angry because it's far more fun to sit still and do nothing and be entertained than have to work for entertainment. This is what I have seen firsthand, with the kids in question.

If I kept them from their toys and board games and coloring books etc etc etc they would probably beg for them a lot more, yes. And because they have unrestricted access to them, they don't act that way. I get what you're saying. But I feel like electronics are something that they shouldn't have free reign to do whatever they want, whenever they want. They are far too pricey, far too all consuming (how many times do we get so wrapped up in a show, movie, conversation on cafemom etc and stop to realize several hours have gone by?) and not worth fighting over. I'd rather they spend their time doing something hands-on. I'd rather them beg me to play with playdough or scissors than beg me to play with video games.

Quoting AutymsMommy:

Do you consider that they go overboard when it is allowed, because it's so forbidden otherwise?

My children are allowed unfettered access to their electronics (they have ipads, ds', playstations, other tablets, television, etc). There's never an issue putting it down and they readily do so very often - to play outside, run errands with mom, build blocks and legos, etc. That we do not restrict definitely doesn't mean that they are glued to it (well, at least ours aren't). Because it isn't restricted, they are never pining for it - which means they easily let it go when necessary. KWIM?


AutymsMommy
by Platinum Member on Jan. 11, 2013 at 3:13 PM
1 mom liked this

It was only a suggestion, lol.

In my experience, only children with nothing else enticing BUT electronics turn into tech zombies. *shrug*


Quoting Anonymous:

honestly I don't care WHY they act like fools. It won't be happening in my house.

The mentality you are talking about here is the same mentality with teen sex. If you restrict it and make it off limits they will pine for it- so why not just let them have at it, so it won't seem so appealing and important?!

Heh... no. I won't take that stance. And I don't agree that this is why, either. My kid is interested because I feel like our society makes electronics seem appealing. They look fun. They ARE fun because they have games, videos, tv shows, etc... they want them and get angry because it's far more fun to sit still and do nothing and be entertained than have to work for entertainment. This is what I have seen firsthand, with the kids in question.

If I kept them from their toys and board games and coloring books etc etc etc they would probably beg for them a lot more, yes. And because they have unrestricted access to them, they don't act that way. I get what you're saying. But I feel like electronics are something that they shouldn't have free reign to do whatever they want, whenever they want. They are far too pricey, far too all consuming (how many times do we get so wrapped up in a show, movie, conversation on cafemom etc and stop to realize several hours have gone by?) and not worth fighting over. I'd rather they spend their time doing something hands-on. I'd rather them beg me to play with playdough or scissors than beg me to play with video games.

Quoting AutymsMommy:

Do you consider that they go overboard when it is allowed, because it's so forbidden otherwise?

My children are allowed unfettered access to their electronics (they have ipads, ds', playstations, other tablets, television, etc). There's never an issue putting it down and they readily do so very often - to play outside, run errands with mom, build blocks and legos, etc. That we do not restrict definitely doesn't mean that they are glued to it (well, at least ours aren't). Because it isn't restricted, they are never pining for it - which means they easily let it go when necessary. KWIM?



I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee














rockin2_manyMOM
by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 3:25 PM
Perhaps the problem came from them not being allowed elwctronics at all then...bam! a lot of electronics time...then nothing.
My kids have nintendo ds (ages 3 and 6) and we have a wii and xbox. Plus they can play on my tablet amd phone here and there. They are allowed limitwd time on the electronics...but they do play with them most days.
And my kids have no problem with creative play. Their imaginations are fantastic. They prefer playing outside. We have no tantrums when electronics time is over.
It is all about balance. Plus you cant outlaw something...and then let them do it...and then outlaw it again. That just creates chaos.
StevieMarie
by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 3:26 PM

Thats sounds waaaaay over the top. My kids watch tv, play games every day. They are 3 and 1. the both know how to use the controllers on the Wii and love to jump around and play the games like bowling and tennis and baseball. They really like their Tangled Wii game too. They watch Dora, Diego, Ruby Gloom, whatever they want in the Just for Kids section of Netflix (you can set it so they cant navigate out of there without a code, so there is nothing over G rated). They also play outside, read books, listen to music (OR play Just Dance on the Wii). They are kids, why not let them play? My kids arent zombies and they are really well behaved. My 3 year old can speak Spanish, count to 50, and is almost reading all on her own. Your claims are perposterous and if those things are so bad, why even have them in your house? You think when they become teens they arent going to figure out how ridiculous your rules are and go above them anyways? I had a very strict upbringing almost like that, and it doesnt lead to good decision making, you just learn how to steal time and find deceptive ways to do what you want since you know you'll never get it even by behaving. Thats just my experience. Good luck with that, warden!

notjstasocermom
by Ruby Member on Jan. 11, 2013 at 3:26 PM

ok.

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