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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Her dd keeps hitting mine

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 28 Replies
My dd is 21 months. A friend of mine's dd is 17 months, although larger than my child. We have play dates and go to the same activities regularly. This child is a particularly active and forceful child. She has always knocked my dd over and grabbed her because that is just how she plays. My dd doesn't play that way so sometimes it gets a little too rough for her liking. Recently though her dd has started hitting my dd deliberately with her hand and with other objects. My friend is at a loss of how to discipline her and can't come up with something that works. She claims her dd only hits my dd and no other kids. Ive seen her be too rough with other kids but not hit them. I certainly don't want my dd to get hurt but I also hate to lose a friend over what can be typical toddler behavior. Anyone ever dealt with this? Any ideas?
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 11, 2013 at 1:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
laurag8707
by Bronze Member on Jan. 11, 2013 at 1:07 PM
3 moms liked this

 Yup I would take things away and distance them from each other it could be they are so close the child is seeing your dd as competition for attention in away. I would just distance them from each other until she can grow out of the phase personally

lalaboosh
by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 1:08 PM

Idk, I'm still working on teaching my almost two year old not to hit us. She's not being violent on purpose, I think she doesn't get the whole high five thing yet. Good luck.

aponder
by Bronze Member on Jan. 11, 2013 at 1:09 PM
1 mom liked this

I haven't dealt with this specifically, but maybe next time sit in the floor with your dd while playing and when her dd goes to hit catch her hand and say "noooooo, we don't hit" if the mother isn't going to intervene you might have to.  just a thought.

momsince04
by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 1:09 PM
Agree... Especially kids toys hurt!!! I've been knocked in the head w kids toys and it hurts, so imagine a Lil baby.


Quoting laurag8707:

 Yup I would take things away and distance them from each other it could be they are so close the child is seeing your dd as competition for attention in away. I would just distance them from each other until she can grow out of the phase personally


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RoseBlossom
by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 1:11 PM

umm doesnt know how to stop it? take the kid away from the other kid and say no dont hit!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 11, 2013 at 1:12 PM
You might be right. Someone actually mentioned that this morning at an activity that perhaps it is almost like a sibling rivalry thing because they see each other so often. Part of me thinks some time apart is a good idea and the other part of me will have a hard time with that because I don't have a lot of friends with kids my dd's are so I really value our time with them.


Quoting laurag8707:

 Yup I would take things away and distance them from each other it could be they are so close the child is seeing your dd as competition for attention in away. I would just distance them from each other until she can grow out of the phase personally


christyg
by Bronze Member on Jan. 11, 2013 at 1:13 PM

This is what I was going to say. 

Keep it simple, in "baby talk" kinda. ~ "Nooo. Don't hit friends. Ouchie!" while grabbing her hand. If mom doesn't do it, then it will be put on you to protect your baby.

Quoting aponder:

I haven't dealt with this specifically, but maybe next time sit in the floor with your dd while playing and when her dd goes to hit catch her hand and say "noooooo, we don't hit" if the mother isn't going to intervene you might have to.  just a thought.


mich.el.le
by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 1:14 PM

There's no reason to lose the friendship over this. If you have to keep them apart (no playdates) for a while, do that but that doesn't mean you have to write your friend off.  Some kids go through this stage. It's frustrating as can be.  She needs lots of positive reinforcement, redirection, and reminders of what acceptable play is.  At this age they have no impulse control and even when they know they aren't supposed to do something, they don't understand the ''why'' yet.

Dzyre1115
by Desiree` on Jan. 11, 2013 at 1:14 PM

 A friend of mine has kids that I don't particularly like, I just cut them off, we see them occasionally, but not often because I can't deal with their behaviors and she is really lousy at handling them. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 11, 2013 at 1:14 PM
She does intervene and TRY to discipline her, she just hasn't found a way that is effective with her yet.


Quoting aponder:

I haven't dealt with this specifically, but maybe next time sit in the floor with your dd while playing and when her dd goes to hit catch her hand and say "noooooo, we don't hit" if the mother isn't going to intervene you might have to.  just a thought.


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