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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

attention cutters/self mutilators!!!! get in here!!!

Posted by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:15 AM
  • 47 Replies
I have a few questions.

SD (15) has been doing things lately and I'm wondering if she is just searching for attention. First it was bulimia. This was a few weeks ago and I did post about it. Bm took no action and magically SD is cured. SMH. But now SD calls when her and bm get into an argument or when her and my other SD fight and she tells dh and I she cut herself. She is in CA and we are in PA so we have limited ability to address thus other than speaking to bm and SF. I know it is serious, and I am not trying to downplay it, but it just seems odd to me. Its like she tells me to get attention, because I immediately show concern and talk to her about her actions. Dh thinks its odd too and says I should not feed into it anymore. We KNOW she needs help, but to what extent we are unsure. Bm has done nothing about the cutting except threaten to call the police. But threats don't mean shit to SD.
Cutters, was your self mutilation something you spoke about freely? What were you looking for/trying to achieve. It only happens when there is a disagreement with the other parents or my other SD. She NEVER did this stuff when she lived with dh and I. I'm beginning to wonder if dh and I need to file for protective custody just for her mental/emotional well being. SD has been through a lot. She makes it known too, but as time goes on, the troubles she had as a 4/5 year old child are still very present, as SD makes it known and everyone is expected to baby her. I'm not trying to sound cruel, I love her to pieces.....but its so frustrating. She was in therapy as a small child and the Dr. Said that the only reason SD would have any recollection of those life events would be if someone were talking about it. Nobody talks about it really, but SD always brings it up. It seems more like she wants people to feel bad for her.....which is the same attention she seems to be seeking from the bulimia and self mutilation. I'm just confused and don't know what else to do....
As a mom I am deeply concerned, but I am trying to look at this realistically and logically. I want to help her, but I don't know what steps I should start to take or which direction to turn. :(
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by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
DEJavu17
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:17 AM
Bumpity
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kngarber
by Katie on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:19 AM
Bump.
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daytonbaby210
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:19 AM
1 mom liked this

I am a former cutter and when I did it no I was not vocal about it I hid it fairly well.

Lydlou02
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:21 AM
Why would the Dr say that? 4 is plenty old enough to remember stuff on her own, especially traumatic stuff that sticks in your mind. She needs to go back to therapy and get a better Dr this time. It sounds like the other doc was intending to rely on her suppressing the memories, which is NOT a healthy thing at all.
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BEXi
by BEXi on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:21 AM

Usually a real cutter wouldnt admit it like that.

                                                         
                                          
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:22 AM
I used cut. about 10 years ago. I never told anyone until recently...

it wasn't for me and didn't help the pain I was feeling emotionally. I was looking for a release of the pain I felt.

DEJavu17
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:22 AM
See she hides the cuts but she has no reservations about telling dh and I or bm when and how she did it.

Quoting daytonbaby210:

I am a former cutter and when I did it no I was not vocal about it I hid it fairly well.

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Mazi184
by Platinum Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:23 AM
I never told anyone about my cutting. I would cut my legs so that it wouldn't show. When someone did she or question me, I was ashamed about it and would play it off. I haven't cut in about 2 years. It's notsomething I brag about, I felt crazy. I'm not proud of the scars on my legs. However I am proud of how far I've come.
However, everyone handles things differently. The most you can do is sit down and talk.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:23 AM
No, I never did. I hide it and never spoke about it. I hated when someone even suggested that's what I was doing. The only person I actually spoke to about it, was my husband. And not as a "oh I did this today", but just an open and frank discussion about it.
As far as not being able to remember things from 4/5 I call bs. I was molested as a child (age 4) by my sister's boyfriend. I never told ANYONE (except my husband) and I remember it clear as day.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:23 AM
I NEVER talked about cutting... sometimes people would see it accidently, but I never went out of my way to tell/show people.. other than my bff that was a cutter also.
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