My Kids SM is a B****!! and my EXDH is a coward!!!

[Anonymous]

Ok so my kids go to their dads house every other weekend and on the weekends the kids are there I work (I work m-f as well)...Well one of my kids are sick with the tummy bug so i called to let EXDH know he said OK I will be there an about an hour to get them....20 minutes later I get a call from him saying he will no longer being picking up the kids this weekend because his wife doesn't want a sick child at their house all weekend...I explained to him that was not an option because I have to work and can't just call out especially since I had to call out 2 days this week as it was to care for our other child who had it earlier in the week...He said he was sorry however he was not in the mood to  fight with his wife about this....

So now I am pissed!!! I understand that our child is sick, however since he doesn't work weekends I feel he should have to suck it up and care for our sick child so I can go to work...I even offered to pick up the kids after work and drop them back off tomorrow on my way to work so they don't have to take care of the sick child all night as well..

So why do I have to take time from work to stay home with the sick child when he can easily care for the child since he will be home all day? I could understand if he had to work and the SM did not want to care for the child,however that is not the case here...

****EDIT***This is his weekends with the kids.....yes they have 1 together, however that is not reason enough for me to miss work because when their child is sick I am still made to send my kids to his house around their sick child....I just called and asked him if he could come to my house for the day and spend it with the kids while i worked he said no because that wouldn't be right to his wife...

[Anonymous]

Cause paying child support is fun and easy! She has his income and her own... She could afford to miss work more than he can

Quoting mas2124:

I'm surprised at the responses. That's his child too! Just because they are divorced, doesn't meen he just gets to do the easy, fun stuff. Raising a child includes illnesses, and other downers, as well.

[Lydlou02]

Okay. Now you know not to warn them.

[Anonymous]

If a stepmother is not caring for her husbands kids along side him when it's his time to care for them I think that's pretty screwed up. She had a choice to marry or not marry a guy with a child and with that comes certain responsibilities. If she's not cut out to parent along side him then she shouldn't have married him. However I do agree that the ex husband should win the asshole of the year award and that the stepmother is his likely scapegoat.

Quoting momof6nokc:

Quoting touchingstars:

Well, it's not the mothers job to be the only one taking care of a sick child, the sm married him knowing there were kids..

It's never the SM's job to take care of children who are not hers. EVER. 

And when a couple divorce/separate and the mom demands/asks for full custody, and a CS check, well, she gets full custody and a check.  No use bitching about dad not taking "his" time when mom most likely demanded to be the one with the most control and time of her kids.

This is the breaks of divorce and the downside of collecting a CS check for being custodial parent. 

And I'm not sure what SM has to do with any of this as BM never heard from SM, she just heard from her ex who claims SM said XYZ.  If I had to take a guess I would guess DAD was the one with the issue, but SM was the scapegoat.  Not unusual.

[cmc638]

Why aren't dads held accountable for the same thing though its such a double standard I bet he wouldn't be willing to call out and potentially lose his job either

Quoting BEXi:

Honestly? Im on SM's side. I wouldnt want a contagious child with a stomach bug at my home either.

As a mother, we have to expect illness emergencies when it comes to our children. What do you do when they get sick Monday-Friday?

[Lydlou02]

That's bulshit and you know it. Being able to afford time off isn't just about money. It's about having a job to go back to.

Quoting Anonymous:

Cause paying child support is fun and easy! She has his income and her own... She could afford to miss work more than he can

Quoting mas2124:

I'm surprised at the responses. That's his child too! Just because they are divorced, doesn't meen he just gets to do the easy, fun stuff. Raising a child includes illnesses, and other downers, as well.

[touchingstars]

Regardless, dad should still help out if the kid is sick. Lets say the step mom is the reason he is saying no, when she married him she should of understood that he is a father first.

Quoting momof6nokc:

Quoting touchingstars:

Well, it's not the mothers job to be the only one taking care of a sick child, the sm married him knowing there were kids..

It's never the SM's job to take care of children who are not hers. EVER. 

And when a couple divorce/separate and the mom demands/asks for full custody, and a CS check, well, she gets full custody and a check.  No use bitching about dad not taking "his" time when mom most likely demanded to be the one with the most control and time of her kids.

This is the breaks of divorce and the downside of collecting a CS check for being custodial parent. 

And I'm not sure what SM has to do with any of this as BM never heard from SM, she just heard from her ex who claims SM said XYZ.  If I had to take a guess I would guess DAD was the one with the issue, but SM was the scapegoat.  Not unusual.

[BigMamaMN]

That's a steaming pile of bullshit! I would be so mad, too. You don't just get to choose when to be a parent and when not to be one and then default it onto the other one. Lame!

[Mdva20082011]

That is wrong because what if sm's kid was sick? Would she send her kid away if the child was sick? What if they have more kids? Would she tell her older kid they cant come home if they're sick because they might be contagious to the other ones? I doubt it.
When I brought my second daughter home from the hospital she was 3 days old and my older daughter had a cold. I was so nervous and scared my newborn would get sick but i couldn't lock my older daughter up in her room or make her stay somewhere else until the cold went away. Even though I wanted to. Lol. Shit happens like that when there is more than one child in a family.
Anyway, if its dads weekend it's his responsibility to take her and if he's too weak and cowardly to stand up to sm then he needs to make alternate arrangements. What a pussy.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

Sorry, but he should be the one to suck it up and figure something else out...I have work he does not have work today....I don't give a shit if they have a kid together or not that is no excuse to not take his kids on his weekends when they are sick...I am made to send my kids to his house when their child is sick and have my kids exposed to his sick kids so why is it any different? I was trying to be nice by giving him the heads up...I all so offered him to come to my house and watch the kids while I work...I offered to pick up the kids as soon as I got off work...Yet when the child they have together is sick no one bothers to tell me and my kids gets sent to his house and exposed so that is ok? yet my kids going to their dads because I have to work and it is his weekend I am the crappy parent? If I did not have work today this would not have been an issue I would have just been ok, but I already missed 2 days this week because of our sick kids I can't afford to miss any more time this week.

Quoting Anonymous:

He obviously doesn't want the kid there. Suck it up and figure out something else. They have a kid together that you're willing to expose. I find you to be the one who is being a crappy parent. The hell if I'd have your kids infect my house.

[twinners.mama]

I agree with you op. You don't get to just decide you don't feel like being around your kids for the day just because they're sick. He's being irresponsible. How is your relationship with him? Could he come to your house for the day while you work? *hugs*