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Why is my DH disregarding how hard this is??

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Does anyone have any words of wisdom on how to get my husband to understand that while I stay at home and work full time from home managing a business will work he needs to stop acting like it is so EASY! I can't get him to help around the house more and keep in mind I work too as a SAHM! I do take care of everything happily but if I am contributing equally financially and raising our baby how do you get them to step it up? He is a good man just needs to understand. Not bitching as some have said, looking for communicative advice.
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by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:12 AM
Replies (11-20):
mommytoeandb
by Platinum Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:27 AM
Some days are harder than others...just like working outside of the home. I was a FT SAHM for 8 years. Join a moms group and plan some fun outings. It is harder when the kids are young, but easier as they mature. Overall, I had it pretty easy.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:28 AM
How many kids do you have? Maybe ask him to help with simple chores to make your life easier.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:30 AM
1 mom liked this

Ask him when the last time he crapped without holding a hand or child on his lap, last time he ate a meal without cutting two children's dinners first. More than likely, if you do leave kids with him to "babysit" for a few hours, they are dressed, snacks left and entertainment ideas listed. Parenting is my job from 7:30 to 6:00, the rest of the time is shared.

I offered to go back to work and explained how it would affect him--my husband is helping soooo much now.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:32 AM
1 mom liked this
Lololol SAHM is not a paid position. You don't put it on a resume and you don't get pay or a raise. It's volunteer work, first of all. Secondly, stop being away POS. You are the one at home all day, so that is your responsibility. Do your duties! Don't expect him to pick up your slack. Do you do his work if he's feeling like a lazy ass, as you have described yourself here? Doubtful. Get over yourself and do your share of shit, and stop expecting him to do it for you. He works all day, so you should be busy with household duties also for 8 or more hours until he gets home. You should have everything done when he walks in the door, so why are you asking for help in the first place???


Quoting amandaannj:

Does anyone have any words of wisdom on how to get my husband to understand that while I stay at home and still work he needs to stop acting like it is so EASY! I can't get him to help around the house more and keep in mind I work too as a SAHM! I am about broken..

CuriousArentYa
by Platinum Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:32 AM
2 moms liked this

Maybe for you. It was hard for me. Working was much easier for me. It's all relative, what's easy for one is hard for another. I bet there are things that are hard for you but a snap for me. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Being a Sahm is easy.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:33 AM
11 moms liked this

Well I can tell you this.  When my babies were younger, I would have gladly left to go sit in an office somewhere all day and "work" outside the home, as opposed to all the things I was busting my ass to do around here. 

Saying that being a SAHM is EASY is like me saying that if you work in an office, you sit on your ass all day. BOTH situations are stressful in their OWN ways.  I have friends who work and are thankful for their time away from their kids, because being home all day just isn't cut out for them.  And I have SAHM friends who are thankful that they can be home all day, incase their child is ill or something else comes up. 

I SAHM b/c my husband travels A LOT.  And we have no family close by.  And I do NOT want to go back into nursing in the hospitals, which is the easiest job to find after staying home for 7 years.  On the other hand, it is time for me to get out of the house and DO something....so I'm looking and planning to do just that.

As moms, both working and SAHM, we should be supporting each other.  It is hard to raise kids, period.  Hard to work and pay for child care and find enough time in the evenings to get everything done.  And it's also hard to stay home, day after day and DO It ALL, mainly if you did marry a man who is never here or doesn't help. There are different kinds of "hard" but stress is stress and if a fellow mom is stressed....we need to be supportive, not argumentative. 

scarletmeshell
by Gold Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:33 AM
1 mom liked this

Wow this got ugly fast.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:33 AM
Suck it up buttercup.


I'm a sahm to two kids with one being special needs. It's not that hard. You need to figure out a schedule for everything that's what makes it "easier"
Isaacsmom913
by Platinum Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:34 AM
It can be overwhelming but being a sahm is cake compared to even working with out kids! Ive been a sahm for 11 months and a working wife for 13 years. Sahm is way easier! Still I told DH he gets nights and weekends off I dont. I still the lions share off domestic duties BUT one night a week I go out ALONE. He then has to do bath and bed of baby. It helps a ton.

See if your hubs would go for that!
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:36 AM
3 moms liked this

he is a man and will never understand until he stands in your shoes for the day. Give him this.


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