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Why is my DH disregarding how hard this is??

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Does anyone have any words of wisdom on how to get my husband to understand that while I stay at home and work full time from home managing a business will work he needs to stop acting like it is so EASY! I can't get him to help around the house more and keep in mind I work too as a SAHM! I do take care of everything happily but if I am contributing equally financially and raising our baby how do you get them to step it up? He is a good man just needs to understand. Not bitching as some have said, looking for communicative advice.
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by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:12 AM
Replies (231-239):
mrsledford09
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 8:27 PM
Im not a pro, but its a choice. If its too much i would hire a sitter or a maid.


Quoting amandaannj:

Then you obviously are a pro but a full time at home job plus a SAHM is difficult to manage. I am not saying poor me but simply looking for advice. Maybe if you try working from him and being a SAHM you might understand. This is my first time on cafe mom looking for advice and wow not to be rude but walk a mile, not everyone's life dynamics are the same, passing judgement is just a low blow for no reason.




Quoting mrsledford09:

The only thing Dh takes care of is the trash...and its taking it off down the road. Everything else is my job...thats what being a stay at home mom is all about. Dont spend alot of time on cafemom and get ur stuff done. Sahm is a job...but its very easy. Ive been doing it for almost 7 years now.


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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:08 PM

I don't know....there is no way. Everyone not a SAHM think it's easy, lol

LoganTroyMom
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:11 PM
i went from being a SAHM for 3 1/2 years to working 7 days a week. Now all I want to do is stay home again but after a day or two off i do start to get exhausted with the kids. both jobs are hard. women need to stop belittling each other, jeez.
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LoganTroyMom
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:13 PM
1 mom liked this
don't listen to these martyr women. your dh should step up. you both work, you both have kids. balance is key. honestly just talk to him in a nonconfrontational manner.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:25 PM
Being active duty army was easier than being a sahm.
blazenangel5
by Bronze Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:39 PM
Understandable. I get angry when some moms , as one in here said, that working moms don't do anything at home when they work. We work opposite shifts so no one else has to care for our kids. I do day time stuff and hubby does night time stuff. I guess it's the age old argument. I think we should all embrace eachother as moms who do what we have to do as mothers, working or not and make the best decisions for our families and stop being combative of who works harder. Its all hard. I feel like I'm attacked and made to feel I neglect my kids in order to work, which is very untrue.

Quoting ksueditz:

I've done both also. And I've been at the end of my rope at both. I only get offended when people say it's not a job, b/c it is, one that working moms pay others to do. But then don't feel sahms deserve respect. ( not saying you did, just the pp who did).




Quoting blazenangel5:

He does. He feeds the kids, does the supper dishes, helps with homework, gives baths and helps with laundry. Still doesn't mean there isn't stuff to get donein the day time before work. I've been at both ends of the spectrum and the worst part of being a sahm for me was the predictability of it all. But I " personally" feel working and being a mom is harder. No one else has to agree.





Quoting ksueditz:

If you both work, why doesn't your hubby pitch in? Not being a smart @ss, just wondering.








Quoting blazenangel5:

I agree with audreesmama. I've done both. Right now I work second shift and hubby works first. This way we don't need childcare. During the day I still run my son back and forth to preschool, clean house, play and chase the toddler around, cook supper and put it in the crockpot, do the shopping, take kids to appointments, then ON TOP of that I have to leave and go work a shift as a CNA, more running around like a chicken with my head cut off and caring for people. I clock out at nine or ten pm and come home make sure the kids have all they need for school the next day etc...so yea I agree my life was easier as a stay at home mom cause now I do both and on top of that I'm a student too.









Quoting audreesmama:

Bahaha...no. I have done both and I think being a working mom is much more difficult. I do not just come home, cook and go to bed.











Very brave of you to use anon, by the way. Are you that ashamed of your super shitty opinion?












Quoting Anonymous:

Oh for the love of Pete. Seriously!!! You go home and cook dinner and put the kids to bed. Get over it! It's life! We do that shit all day. One is not harder than the other. They are different.













Quoting audreesmama:

Yep! Being a SAHM is a fucking cakewalk compared to working 60+ hours a week, for salary, and then coming home and doing all the same shit SAHM have all day to do. I'm a SAHM until my son is older, and this is the fucking life!!
















Quoting Anonymous:

Generally a woman who works out of home still has to do all the shit a SAHM does. 









Quoting Anonymous:

How is working any harder?

















Quoting Anonymous:

Being a Sahm is easy.






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ksueditz
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:43 PM
Agreed.


Quoting blazenangel5:

Understandable. I get angry when some moms , as one in here said, that working moms don't do anything at home when they work. We work opposite shifts so no one else has to care for our kids. I do day time stuff and hubby does night time stuff. I guess it's the age old argument. I think we should all embrace eachother as moms who do what we have to do as mothers, working or not and make the best decisions for our families and stop being combative of who works harder. Its all hard. I feel like I'm attacked and made to feel I neglect my kids in order to work, which is very untrue.



Quoting ksueditz:

I've done both also. And I've been at the end of my rope at both. I only get offended when people say it's not a job, b/c it is, one that working moms pay others to do. But then don't feel sahms deserve respect. ( not saying you did, just the pp who did).






Quoting blazenangel5:

He does. He feeds the kids, does the supper dishes, helps with homework, gives baths and helps with laundry. Still doesn't mean there isn't stuff to get donein the day time before work. I've been at both ends of the spectrum and the worst part of being a sahm for me was the predictability of it all. But I " personally" feel working and being a mom is harder. No one else has to agree.







Quoting ksueditz:

If you both work, why doesn't your hubby pitch in? Not being a smart @ss, just wondering.










Quoting blazenangel5:

I agree with audreesmama. I've done both. Right now I work second shift and hubby works first. This way we don't need childcare. During the day I still run my son back and forth to preschool, clean house, play and chase the toddler around, cook supper and put it in the crockpot, do the shopping, take kids to appointments, then ON TOP of that I have to leave and go work a shift as a CNA, more running around like a chicken with my head cut off and caring for people. I clock out at nine or ten pm and come home make sure the kids have all they need for school the next day etc...so yea I agree my life was easier as a stay at home mom cause now I do both and on top of that I'm a student too.











Quoting audreesmama:

Bahaha...no. I have done both and I think being a working mom is much more difficult. I do not just come home, cook and go to bed.













Very brave of you to use anon, by the way. Are you that ashamed of your super shitty opinion?














Quoting Anonymous:

Oh for the love of Pete. Seriously!!! You go home and cook dinner and put the kids to bed. Get over it! It's life! We do that shit all day. One is not harder than the other. They are different.















Quoting audreesmama:

Yep! Being a SAHM is a fucking cakewalk compared to working 60+ hours a week, for salary, and then coming home and doing all the same shit SAHM have all day to do. I'm a SAHM until my son is older, and this is the fucking life!!


















Quoting Anonymous:

Generally a woman who works out of home still has to do all the shit a SAHM does. 










Quoting Anonymous:

How is working any harder?



















Quoting Anonymous:

Being a Sahm is easy.







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rebeccasmommy09
by Silver Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 12:07 PM
Working from home is tough. Trying to balance work and kids (at the same time) is a unique challenge. I would definitely recommend having your dh keep the kids for a few hours by himself. Getting a taste of that alone should hopefully help to open his eyes. GL!

Quoting amandaannj:

I am new with the lingo but yes a WAHM.




Quoting rebeccasmommy09:

I'm a little confused. It sounds like you might be a WAHM. Is that right? Or are you saying being a SAHM is work?





I've done all 3 scenarios (work ft outside the home, SAHM and now WAHM). They all have their ups and downs. SAHM was by far the easiest and I didn't expect dh to do much (if any) housework. While working though (whether in or out of the house) there just aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done and spend quality time with the little ones. One thing that really helped dh to understand my days was to leave him with the kids for a few hours. Every time I do that he tells me he doesn't know how I get anything accomplished, lol.

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Pnukey
by Jenn on Jan. 13, 2013 at 12:09 PM

OP changed her post from yesterday. It didn't say she was a WAHM, just SAHM. Way to change the game. 

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