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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Losing gracefully, how old is a good age for them to learn.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

DS is almost four. For Christmas he got Candy Land and Hi Ho Cherry-O. We introduced them to the games by playing them until we all "win,"  so he could get a good grasp on the rules, and honestly I am the one who is always still at cupcake commons or has all her apples on the tree come the end of the game (I suck so bad at those games for some reason,) so he really does win, we just dont stop the game unless I am REALLY behind. 

We want to introduce him to losing though, DH was just teaching him tic-tac-toe and he lost a couple times and wanted to mark the board up until he won too, DH said no, only one can win, and DS decided he didnt want to play anymore. He didnt get upset, just "I don't want to play anymore" 

I dont want to "coddle" him, but is he old enough for the cold hard truth that he will lose, and he cant just stop doing something because he isnt the winner? Should we be pushing him more?

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:55 AM
Replies (11-19):
wumbo
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 11:08 AM

LOL at cold hard truth... My nephew is 4 and he understands losing. He doesn't throw fits when he loses, he just says "Okay, let's play again!"

alexsmomma06
by Platinum Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 11:09 AM
This. We started at 2-3 teaching them this. Sometimes they win, sometimes they lose. If they throw a fit, they aren't allowed to play for awhile.


Quoting GaleJ:

Perhaps you could stress that the games are fun to play regardless of whether one wins or loses. While I know some people are more competitive than others I think family games really should be played just for fun and not so much for the winning or losing aspect.


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Shermy
by Platinum Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 11:09 AM
From the start.
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LucyHarper
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 11:11 AM

We teach our kids as soon as they are old enough to play games. It's an important skill. We teach them how to be a good winner and a good loser, that you can take pride that you won, but if you act mad or refuse to play anymore when you lose, you are being a bad sport and people won't want to play games with you anymore.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 12, 2013 at 11:12 AM

from the very beginning.  it's part of learning "you don't always get what you want."  it's never too early to teach good sportsmanship.

mich.el.le
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 11:12 AM

From the time we started playing games I've let my kids lose.  I don't think there's any benefit to them ''winnning'' all the time.

Not_A_Native
by Ruby Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 11:15 AM

Definately time.  My father taught me to play blackjack at the age of 5 - it's a good one, since it teaches addition, subtraction and so on - and there is a "hand" each time that you can win or lose.

murals
by Bronze Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 11:16 AM
I don't know what the right answer is, but we don't let our 3 year old win unless he really wins. I just thought it would be easier if that how it always is.
In your situation, I would tell him that he understands how to play now, so you all are going to use the real rules with only one winner. I also told my DS that after the game, everyone says "good game" to the winner, and that is part of getting to play the game.
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brettsmomma
by ~Tammie~ on Jan. 12, 2013 at 11:17 AM

 We personally taught our son from the beginning. He watches football with his dad since birth LOL So we simply explained it to him like that around the age of 3 when we started board games.

Photo: -Randi.

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