Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Preparing to leave

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 21 Replies

Have any of you ever left your SO/DH? DH and I have been married a moth dated over a year before we got married, and well I think we have both realized that this probably is NOT going to work out.  However, though nothing changes and he refuses for us to go to marriage counseling, I am getting sick of the situation day by day, try my best to work on it.  So, as I told him today, I am tired of giving 90% and only getting 10%.  He doesnt want us to break up? Who wants to live with someone they cant even have a conversation with?! I work full time and am finishing up my bachelor´s degree.  I make okay money for my son and I to SURVIVE on, so, to say the least I am not ready to leave.. I need to prepare financially and I am giving our relationship some time meanwhile I prepare to leave.. I need to buy a couch, kitchen dishes (most were his when we moved in together and the rest we got from our wedding registry), a microwave, a toaster, a few more comforter sets, and a tv. I also want to have a thousand dollars savings (I do realize it is not much but it will get us out of a tight sutation need be, if not I will have to ask my father to help though I avoid that at all costs) and the money for my first and last month..I should be getting a raise in March, which would make everything a little easier because with my income I would be able to pay all of our bills, food, DS´health insurance, DS´before and after school care, DS´s monthly activities fees, and car care without much money left over.. The dollar raise would give me a little breathing room, but if I dont get that I should be done with school in the next 9 months and be able to upgrade to a new job making at least 4 or 5 more thousand dollars a year, which means I would be tight for about the next year or so.. Worse comes to worse I would have to apply for food stamps and it would be the only assitance I would get until I get a little more money from my employer.. or if DS´ father steps up to the plate and starts sending at least $100 a month I could stay off the food stamps..

Have any of  you prepared to leave well in advance? Is there anything that I am missing? Anything else I need to take into consideration? Any suggestions from Moms who have been through this?

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:16 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:20 PM

Finish your degree first so you will be prepared!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:21 PM

That´s a great idea! I never did consider that!

glycerinej
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:27 PM
Your plan sounds good... BUT when you leave you need to file for custody and child support. Until custody is filed do NOT allow dad to take him bc he can keep him legally until court.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:35 PM

My DS is not my husband´s child.  His father´s permanent resident is in another country and he is really not interested and hasnt been for over 3 years in taking my son from me.  He is very content with how I am raising our son.  Ive never asked money from him, he sends occassionally, I gladly accept it.

Amanda52007
by Silver Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:38 PM

I didn't prepare. I made the decision one day, and left the next. Here's a bump.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:39 PM

wintermermaid
by Bronze Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:40 PM
You've been married for 1 month? I think unless there's abuse or something, that the marriage should be given a chance. You wanted to marry him a month ago. What changed?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
samiam2919
by Bronze Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:41 PM

What about if he takes you to court for custody/visitation of his child??

armstrong7984
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:41 PM

i guess for better or for worse doesnt apply here....

photomom1979
by Silver Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:41 PM
I did. I prepared for months. I saved every bit of money I could in a separate account, found a job and an apt. Then told him I was leaving. We split furniture, dishes, cars etc.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured