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The Truth About Attachment Disorders! *VENT*

Posted by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:56 PM
  • 120 Replies
3 moms liked this

 So it seems that a lot of people have different ideas about attachment disorders, what causes them and whose fault it is.

I will explain first that I am the (step) mom to a beautiful little lady who suffers from one. Short background. Her mom and ex sf abused and neglected her. They hid for a few years. It took me and SO a while to find them then we got sole custody. She no longer has any contact with BM.

Attachment disorders are NOT a bio-logical disorder. This does not happen from genes or from the mother's behavior during pregnancy. This disorder occurs during the infant/toddler stages of life.

This happens when the child is abused, neglected, often changes in care givers or when the child's basic needs are not being met on a regular basis.

This is an enviromental disorder. It is caused by the primary caregivers.

There are many different stories as to how a child or when a child went through this. Each case is different. It could of been cause by biological parents, step parents, foster parents or extended stays in hospitals where the parents are not allowed contact with their young child.

If this disorder is not caught at a young age the effects can be life long. If the disorder is treated it can lessen the effects and give the child a better quality of life. But the fact of the matter is this disorder is not to be grouped in with biological disorders as it is nothing if not completely different.

I have a Child Psychology degree and am currently dealing with the daily struggle of parenting a child suffering from attachment.


** I must also add that there is no 100% treatment. It will not always make things better. The treatment plans are long and by long I mean years. It takes a lot of commitment and understanding on the current caregivers side.

Custodial step mommy?
Come visit us at
http://www.cafemom.com/group/92470

by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ccnstanczak
by Gold Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:01 PM

 what are the signs of the disorder?

jazzy411
by Jazmyne Lee on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:05 PM
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Paige03
by Silver Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:06 PM

It depends. There are a few different types of Attachment Disorder. RAD is the most uncommon but is the worse.
They could not like any physical contact. They could she away and shun their caregivers. They can do that and yet love strangers and want a lot of physical contact (i.e. sitting on their laps)
They have social problems. Usually delayed social skills.
They can have problems fitting in with other children at school. They can have violent or sudden outbursts amd tempertantrums. They can be violent. They can be very cold and mean. The list goes on and on.

The biggest clue in for us with our daughter was that she would have these tantrums that could last for hours over what appeared to be nothing, she loved to sit on strangers laps but not her dad's. She couldn't socialize with children her own age. She was like a baby and an adult all in one. And the biggest hint was that she felt no guilt for anything. She could do really mean and horrible things then laugh about them or think they were no big deal.

Quoting ccnstanczak:

 what are the signs of the disorder?


becca2113
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:10 PM

 how can you say it is from neglect??? some times it has nothing to do with it. it could be caused by never going to stay with anyone always being with the parent or parents. my son has an attachment disorder as you call it or also known as separation anxiety. i am a single mother have been all of his life his dad has been in and out of his life never really been a stable father. he is no longer in the picture at all but my son still has separation anxiety he is never away from me he is always with me. what are the symptoms

Paige03
by Silver Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:13 PM

I am mostly speaking about RAD and Disorganized Attachment Disorders. Seperation Anxiety is typically lumped into the Anxiety/Panic disorders and not usually with Attachment as most of the symptoms and causes fit in better with Anxiety/Panic disorders.

Quoting becca2113:

 how can you say it is from neglect??? some times it has nothing to do with it. it could be caused by never going to stay with anyone always being with the parent or parents. my son has an attachment disorder as you call it or also known as separation anxiety. i am a single mother have been all of his life his dad has been in and out of his life never really been a stable father. he is no longer in the picture at all but my son still has separation anxiety he is never away from me he is always with me. what are the symptoms


ccnstanczak
by Gold Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:13 PM

 That really breaks my heart!!

what treatment is available for this.(ive always had an interest in child pych)

but the reason i asked was i was a little worried about my 6yo dd. shes sad all the time and always wants my attention. she gets jealous of her sister and my dh and i are separated and gets sooo upset when she gets upset. im having a very emotional day today and she is too.

so nothing like what you described though, but i wanted to ask. so thank you. and i wish you best of luck with her.

Quoting Paige03:

It depends. There are a few different types of Attachment Disorder. RAD is the most uncommon but is the worse.
They could not like any physical contact. They could she away and shun their caregivers. They can do that and yet love strangers and want a lot of physical contact (i.e. sitting on their laps)
They have social problems. Usually delayed social skills.
They can have problems fitting in with other children at school. They can have violent or sudden outbursts amd tempertantrums. They can be violent. They can be very cold and mean. The list goes on and on.

The biggest clue in for us with our daughter was that she would have these tantrums that could last for hours over what appeared to be nothing, she loved to sit on strangers laps but not her dad's. She couldn't socialize with children her own age. She was like a baby and an adult all in one. And the biggest hint was that she felt no guilt for anything. She could do really mean and horrible things then laugh about them or think they were no big deal.

Quoting ccnstanczak:

 what are the signs of the disorder?

 

 

laranadtony
by Ruby Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:14 PM

I have never dealt with it. I know from experience that parents are going to get the blame for everything.

haydensmom4610
by Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:15 PM
My little sister (adopted) has RAD. My mom got her when she was 11 months old and she had been bounced around between herbio mom, grandparents, and great grandparents. It took her a long time to get attached to any of us, but at times she is overly affectionate. And still is, even though she is 4 now. She has major tantrums over nothing, extremely defiant, and just downright mean sometimes. She also has sleep issues. She has to take melatonin to sleep every night or she would literally stay up all night. The doctors think she may also be bi polar. I'm worried about what she will be like as a teenager :/
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2ltlmonkeyz
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:15 PM

sorry about your SD :(

Paige03
by Silver Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:15 PM

That sounds more like seperation Anxiety. If you would like to PM me I can give more personalized details to you. And maybe just talk, it's always nice to have someone to chat with who understands your situation!

Quoting ccnstanczak:

 That really breaks my heart!!

what treatment is available for this.(ive always had an interest in child pych)

but the reason i asked was i was a little worried about my 6yo dd. shes sad all the time and always wants my attention. she gets jealous of her sister and my dh and i are separated and gets sooo upset when she gets upset. im having a very emotional day today and she is too.

so nothing like what you described though, but i wanted to ask. so thank you. and i wish you best of luck with her.

Quoting Paige03:

It depends. There are a few different types of Attachment Disorder. RAD is the most uncommon but is the worse.
They could not like any physical contact. They could she away and shun their caregivers. They can do that and yet love strangers and want a lot of physical contact (i.e. sitting on their laps)
They have social problems. Usually delayed social skills.
They can have problems fitting in with other children at school. They can have violent or sudden outbursts amd tempertantrums. They can be violent. They can be very cold and mean. The list goes on and on.

The biggest clue in for us with our daughter was that she would have these tantrums that could last for hours over what appeared to be nothing, she loved to sit on strangers laps but not her dad's. She couldn't socialize with children her own age. She was like a baby and an adult all in one. And the biggest hint was that she felt no guilt for anything. She could do really mean and horrible things then laugh about them or think they were no big deal.

Quoting ccnstanczak:

 what are the signs of the disorder?

 

 


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