My list of confessions.. please dont make fun

[Anonymous]

Instead of brushing my teeth i mix toothpaste with water and swish it around in my mouth

i was in a roller blading accident last year and lost my left ear

I am terrified of calculators

snooki is my 3rd cousin by marriage

when i was 11 i made out with my dog to see what it would be like

i used to work at walmart in the fitting room after having my daughter and i had a bladder control problem and used to piss in the fitting rooms and blame it on guests

I spike my yogurt with vodka every morning

My mom is blind. When i was a teen my friends and i would sneak in her room and set off fire crackers and throw water balloons at her. she thought it was hitler invading us. 

I wipe my ass with pictures of obama

I talk about having sex with backstreet boys members in my sleep. my husband gets jealous

my goal in life is to make it onto people of walmart

i screw my christmas tree onto the ceiling so i have an upside down tree that the kids can't destroy

I have 9 kids whos names all start with A: Adam, Adyson, Amy, Amanda, Andrew, Alex, Aria, Annie and Alyssa

they are all under the age of 5 (3 sets of triplets) 

One of them has a different dad

I am a stripper and I love what I do

Don't judge. 

[Anonymous]

Yea rite

[Anonymous]

Mmm hmm. And you stole this list from where?

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

*right*

Quoting Anonymous:

Yea rite

[Anonymous]

They see me trollin', they hatin'...

[Jessica_Esqueda]

1- No WAY your teeth are clean. Toothpaste is not necessary, but scrubbing IS necessary to remove the plaque... 

2- you probably shouldn't go to work or drive after eating spiked yogurt. 

3- keep pissing in fitting rooms, POW is sure to catch on soon. 

That's mostly it. Way to keep it trashy, applesauce!

[livelaughlov26]

That made me laugh. Ty.

[428pm]

if they are all triplets how does only one have a differnt dad?

[Jessica_Esqueda]

And, yep, I love you anyway. 

Quoting Anonymous:

*right*

Quoting Anonymous:

Yea rite

[annas_momma]

Bahahahahaha!

Hahahahah

Hahaha


*deep breath*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Well ok if it makes you feel better to get it off your chest