Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

torn on how to feel... ds seeing a drug withdraw

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 25 Replies
Ds' grandmother was watching him. When I went to pick him up, she said that they were at the hospital.. That her dd called, saying she was withdrawing and wanted help... so grandmother loaded everyone in her car: her bf, her, her dd, and her two grandchildren... She has custody of her dd's child... And took her to the hospital.

On one hand, I'm mad. I suffered/sacrificed so much bc I didn't want ds to see an addict, or a withdraw. His dad was addicted to heroin and for 8 yrs, I'll keep him away until he shows he can stay clean (currently in prison).. And all that was for nothing, bc in the end, he still seen it. He's 7yrs old.

On the other hand, if my son was grown, and addicted, crying to me, asking for help, I'd do anything within my power to help. Nothing could stop me. A mothers love is unconditional, the desire to protect, to ease the pain will never cease...

I just hate that my son witnessed that. :-( I hate that this ladys own 3 yrs old witnessed it- that it's become so apart of her life that it doesn't phrase her.

I told the grandmother if she ever wants me to watch her grandchild, in events like this, I will. I didn't show her my anger about ds seeing it... I'm trying to come to terms with it and trying to answer his questions, but sometimes, I just get so mad!
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 13, 2013 at 4:49 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
jb0520
by Platinum Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 4:54 AM
I'd be pissed!!!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 13, 2013 at 4:56 AM
Her dd didn't even take the help offered. The er said they can administer her drugs there, but they won't give her a script... That she needs to go to the health clinic to basically go to rehab... She didn't like that so she just left. All she wanted was the drugs, do she could sell them when she didn't have money (she has court for prostitution at the end of this month).

Sigh. I really wish she'd accept the help and get clean. She has two little girls that need their mom, two sisters who hasn't seen each other since cps took them and placed them in separate homes almost a year ago (oldest is with her bio dad, youngest with her grandmother)
Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Jan. 13, 2013 at 4:59 AM

I don't think Grandmother had a choice...kwim

IF your child called you and said what her DD said.....You would have gone..wouldn't you??

mommy_2_be_2010
by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 5:02 AM
Bump
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Bonita131
by Platinum Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 5:03 AM

I think the opposite. Seeing someone dealing with withdrawal, and realizing that drugs caused it, would be a good eye opener for kids. It'll make them think twice when someone at their school offers them drugs.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 13, 2013 at 5:08 AM
That's why I'm so torn. I understand grandmothers pov- one child in prison, the other addicted to drugs (I think it's heroin our cocaine)... And if that was me, like I said, I'd do anything within my power to help him, to ease that for him.

Most of the time, I'm ok with it. Other times, when ds asks or gets a bit scared, thinking about it, that mother bear instinct comes out. Everything that I tried to shield him from, was broken down within half a day.

I don't even know how bad the withdraw was, or for how long he seen it when they were at the er... But it was enough to scare ds, and he's usually one tough little cookie.

Quoting Sassy762:

I don't think Grandmother had a choice...kwim

IF your child called you and said what her DD said.....You would have gone..wouldn't you??

Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Jan. 13, 2013 at 5:11 AM

Wow...what did you tell him was wrong with her DD??

I probably would have said she was having a seizure or something like that...kwim

I hope he gets over this or forgets about it real soon.Kids are more resilient than we are, lol

Quoting Anonymous:

That's why I'm so torn. I understand grandmothers pov- one child in prison, the other addicted to drugs (I think it's heroin our cocaine)... And if that was me, like I said, I'd do anything within my power to help him, to ease that for him.

Most of the time, I'm ok with it. Other times, when ds asks or gets a bit scared, thinking about it, that mother bear instinct comes out. Everything that I tried to shield him from, was broken down within half a day.

I don't even know how bad the withdraw was, or for how long he seen it when they were at the er... But it was enough to scare ds, and he's usually one tough little cookie.

Quoting Sassy762:

I don't think Grandmother had a choice...kwim

IF your child called you and said what her DD said.....You would have gone..wouldn't you??


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 13, 2013 at 5:12 AM
But at 7 tho? I was hoping I could keep this conversation out for at least another 2 or 3 years!... And with him not knowing his dad, his dad being in prison for drugs, that was gonna be my scare tactic.. The fact that his dad lost almost 8 years of his life for drugs, 4 years being behind bars for drugs, his dream career damn near ruined- all for drugs.

Quoting Bonita131:

I think the opposite. Seeing someone dealing with withdrawal, and realizing that drugs caused it, would be a good eye opener for kids. It'll make them think twice when someone at their school offers them drugs.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 13, 2013 at 5:20 AM
Ugh. Grandmother is a bit... Clueless sometimes and told him medicine messed her up... So I basically had to have an adult conversation with him about drugs, that sometimes it looks like medicine mommy takes, but just because they look like medicine doesn't mean it's good for you... Like mommy has a pill that looks like a tic tac (I showed him both of them), but my pill isn't candy like his is even if they look alike. That medicine we get from the doctors are good for us, they help us get better and what she was taking wasn't medicine, and it was bad for people. Also I used apple juice and pine sol as another example. They may look the same, and one tastes awesome, but the other will kill you.

Not sure if I explained it right for him, I'm going to see if there's any groups at his school, for kids who are dealing with an addict parent or a counselor... Either way, the conversation was bound to happen since his dad also did drugs and it's something I want ds to understand... I was just hoping it wouldn't be this soon and under these circumstances

Quoting Sassy762:

Wow...what did you tell him was wrong with her DD??

I probably would have said she was having a seizure or something like that...kwim

I hope he gets over this or forgets about it real soon.Kids are more resilient than we are, lol

Quoting Anonymous:

That's why I'm so torn. I understand grandmothers pov- one child in prison, the other addicted to drugs (I think it's heroin our cocaine)... And if that was me, like I said, I'd do anything within my power to help him, to ease that for him.



Most of the time, I'm ok with it. Other times, when ds asks or gets a bit scared, thinking about it, that mother bear instinct comes out. Everything that I tried to shield him from, was broken down within half a day.



I don't even know how bad the withdraw was, or for how long he seen it when they were at the er... But it was enough to scare ds, and he's usually one tough little cookie.



Quoting Sassy762:

I don't think Grandmother had a choice...kwim

IF your child called you and said what her DD said.....You would have gone..wouldn't you??


Bonita131
by Platinum Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 12:38 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

But at 7 tho? I was hoping I could keep this conversation out for at least another 2 or 3 years!... And with him not knowing his dad, his dad being in prison for drugs, that was gonna be my scare tactic.. The fact that his dad lost almost 8 years of his life for drugs, 4 years being behind bars for drugs, his dream career damn near ruined- all for drugs.

Quoting Bonita131:

I think the opposite. Seeing someone dealing with withdrawal, and realizing that drugs caused it, would be a good eye opener for kids. It'll make them think twice when someone at their school offers them drugs.

I can't agree with you not having told your son about his father being in prison for drugs. As harsh as it may be, at 7 yrs old, he should know where his father is, and why. Waiting to spring the news on him as a scare tactic could very well backfire on you. Your son could end up resenting the fact you didn't tell him the truth about his father earlier, and hold that against you.

Kids in elementary school have been found selling and using drugs, it is not something that is exclusive to teenagers and adults.  I'm 100 % for educating kids about the danger of drugs at an early age. The more they know, and in your sons case, the more he sees, the better the chance he'll never get involved with drugs. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)