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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Your use of profanity indicates that you are of lesser intelligence

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Or otherwise titled: "I hope you don't speak to your kids that way!"

The sentence that just came out of my mouth, directed at DD: "I would like you to go get dressed. If you're able to do this in a timely manner then you may be able to engage in some sort of recreational activity before we leave."

She's five. I found myself reflecting on that sentence after I spoke it. Many would say that's too advanced for a child of her age, but since she began speaking in sentences that's how I've spoken to her. Not every sentence is put so eloquently. Sometimes I'm brief and occasionally I'm long winded. It provides her the opportunity to hear vocabulary she isn't necessarily exposed to on a regular basis outside of our home. When she doesn't understand, she asks, and I define the word or break down the phrase so she knows.


The sentence struck me. Sometimes my mom rolls her eyes at me because she thinks DD wouldn't understand. She's fairly precocious and I love the English language, as well as I love teaching her about it.

For good measure, I feel like I should throw an eff bomb in here, because my children are also exposed to the gutteral language. So, fuck.

Do you swear in front of your kids? Do you use large words with them?
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by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 7:44 AM
Replies (361-364):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 61 on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:38 PM

Yes to both.  I casually swear in front of them, not at them to be more specific.  I also just speak to them normally, I do not "dumb down" my vocabulary and as a result, if they do not understand a word they will ask me, but not before trying to decipher said word by utilizing context cues first. 

As a result, when my youngest didn't understand a word the other day, my oldest (almost seven) said, "It doesn't matter, its just a colloquium." 

NiCo86
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:39 PM
occassionally a curse word or two. but yes, we are well articulated and our child has picked up on this :) its hilarious to hear him say "Will you tell Bubba to stop antagonizing me" or just shaking his head and saying "his actions are unacceptable" talking about something on TV lol hes 3 btw
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 40 on Jan. 14, 2013 at 4:03 PM

LMAO! Please. That stupid "you don't understand big words" implication is old and outplayed. I happen to be an English language major, have a huge vocbulary, and speak four languages, so no, your "big" words are not a problem for me. However, using "big" words exclusively to make yourself seem smarter when you can just as well get your point across with simpler words makes you pretentious. None of the words you used were even rare or especially educational, just hoity-toity.

Quoting zuverlassig2jl:


Quoting Anonymous:

I like how you wrote this huge ass post using a lot of "big" words, and then....



Quote:

decreecing by the cylable

LMAO
Quoting zuverlassig2jl:

"Large words", yes sometimes, but only because that's how I naturally articulate, not for the sole purpose of introducing them to the children, I've witnessed people doing such, and it drives me crazy. I understand the desire for  your child to feel comfortable with a vast vocabulary, but if your just looking for any excuse to inject an elaborate vocabulary word in to your child's head, then, frankly, it comes across as incredibly  pretentious. I am in no way insinuating that this is your case with your child, but we have all seen it in our lives. If its who you are, how you feel most comfortable communicating naturally then I would expect it. Now, swearing, No!!!! I never swear in front of the children. I was raised up, thankfully, to believe that women should not swear. What was the saying...."Men want a lady in the living room and a wh@#* in the bed room."  I wholeheartedly agree with that theory, and not just because It was told to me as a young lady, but because it makes perfect sense to me.  Have I swore, yes, a few times in my life I have, when I have felt so passionate, disgusted, or enraged that I simply felt there was no where else to go with my terminology to get my point of these feelings across, but it has hardly ever occurred, I havealways felt a little discusted with my un-lady like demeanor and NEVER, EVER in front of the children.  If you have ever really sat back and watched a woman spew off a myriad of vulgar words while discussingher latest  trip to the mall or Starbucks it just sounds wrong, and I can see her attractiveness, in my eyes, decreecing by the cylable. On that note, I may be a hypocrite, in that I expect men to swear to a certain degree and it doesn't bother me in the least.  I have never met a man who dose'nt, and it has made no difference weather he was raised with privilege and sophistication or not, exceptionally bright or not,  went to the best schools or not, grown up in a trailer in the South or a mansion in the North East. I've had male friends in high school and college who had very privileged lives and attended Ivy league universities, and  still, given the correct circumstances and used in the correct context, swearing was ever present and applied. My husband, a blue collar man from a small town in KS, where he grew up on a farm and worked it before and after school, along with all the other Clark Kent stereotypical activities, swears often, and yes some times in front of the children, and yes we have the argument about how it is not appropriate, and I don't want the children growing up to use those words with such ease, and especially NOT THE GIRLS!!!  I don't feel it has much to do with intelligence, and more to do with upbringing and environment. You can be brilliant and swear all the time, you can be an idiot and use all the sophisticated words you like, but when some one is intelligent  it comes through all the same, just like when some one is an idiot, it's pretty clear. I don't think swearing is an automatic go to for people who have a small vocabulary or poor education though. Not always any way.


Hey you,  thanks for the constructive criticism !! Yes, I can be lengthy while sharing some times, that is true, so it was very nice of you to take the time to read it and critique it.  I never claimed to be an great speller, In fact I suck at it, but I still managed to pulled of exceptional averages academically (thank you spell check!).  I didn't use any "big" words here either. I'm sorry if they were big for you though. Have a great day:)


was2now3
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 4:21 PM
It used to make me so mad when people would talk "baby talk" to them. I talk to my kids like they are adults, in full sentences and using the proper words for things. I refused to allow baby talk at my kids lol which is why they are well spoken children now. :-)

Quoting Lanesmommy26:

Oh good gracious I have been "teaching" my daughter out of the lovely incoherent, grammatically incorrect speech errors that her "friends" at school use. Ugh!!!! I am often heard, at least three times a day saying, "lane, please speak in grammatically coherent and well phrased sentences so people know you weren't raised by uneducated bottom feeders." ;) she cracks up and says, "oh okay mommy." 


Quoting was2now3:

Yes i swear in front of them, i also use big words and correct format while speaking to them. Both of my kids use big words as well. Neither of my kids use improper English, however my daughter did pick up the word "gooder" from my niece so i had to explain to her a few time that it is "better" and "gooder" isn't a word...drives me fuckin crazy!


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