So my question is... While part of me wants a divorce, a big part of me doesn't want to enter the poor house, which we certainly would be doing if we separate. I would keep the kids and I would have to take food stamps and other assistance. I don't want to. Also, right now we are able to afford to take our kids traveling (not super extravagant- but cool)and neither of us would be able to provide those experiences either. For example, wespent Christmas a few years ago in CA. And we are planning another trip to Disney for Feb 2014. Apart, we could never do this. Also, we go to water parks, travel to the cities and visit zoos and museums and go camping quite often during the summer. Most of that would be gone.
I know he loves me and I know he is faithful and I recognize that this is an addiction for him... but I am sooo lonely and feel so abandoned I am considering going on anti-depression meds, which I have never been on. And yes, we have exhausted the talking, ect options. I simply don't believe him or trust him with my heart anymore. But I feel like if I leave due to my heart and mental health... I will be exchanging the hearts and mental health of everyone else in my family. It doesn't seem worth it, or fair.
What do you all think? With taxes coming up we would have the extra money to split and yes, I have spoke with him (he doesn't want to and has even opted to sleep on the couch to give me my space while I think and process) but I just feel like I need to stomach it and carry on... thoughts??