I was desperately seeking work even though I was homeless. The shelters all had waiting lists, I have NO family or friends that would temporarily take me in, and I was still sick as a dog. I finally found a friend who offered her couch on an emergency basis and I found work around the corner at a convenience store... The ONLY job available within walking distance (no car) and I'm SO thankful to be bringing home a paycheck, but here is my problem.
I'm making about a third of my former salary at a job that is WAY to physically difficult for six months pregnant. I can't leave because I desperately need the money, but I don't make enough to save for my own place as I pay rent for this couch and barely have enough leftover to feed myself. I get $50 in food stamps per month but her and her kids eat off of that too.
My prenatal Nurse Practitioner refuses to put me on limited duty or write a not so I can get temporary disability or PA for the remainder of my pregnancy, claiming 'we don't do that' and offering no other alternatives or further explanation, and I am coming home from work in absolute agony at night and spend the entire evening in tears from the pain. There is NO way I will be able to do this for much longer... But I have no other source of income and would be on the streets. I will qualify for PA only after I hit 8 months pregnant and I know my body cannot hold out that long... I'm barely functioning as it is.
My job will not provide ANY accommodation such as a place to sit because I need a statement from the doctor that I am high risk, and I'm really struggling to make it through an entire day without bursting into tears from the pain in my legs and swelling ankles and feet. I have become extremely depressed and have anxiety problems with insomnia, racing thought, obsessive worry, and panic attacks. I have absolutely NO idea where to turn for help and I'm getting to the point of being ready to give up and run away to God knows where.
My baby's father is nowhere to be found and obviously is of no help. I applied for section 8 housing for me and the baby and there is an 8 year waiting list and a waiting list in the HUD apartments where I am staying near my work. So I have no idea where I can live once the baby comes. The couch I'm staying on now is in a house where smoking goes on and I'm scared to death to have a newborn in a smoking atmosphere... It's bad enough to have to breathe it while pregnant. So I don't want to stay here any longer than I have to. It's not healthy.
I just need to hear if there are other options that I'm not thinking of.. I do NOT want to be on PA, I WANT to work as long as I can without killing myself in the process... I will have to be on it for six weeks after delivering but I'm determined to work right away and will have to pump for the baby and pay someone to watch her.
I just have no idea what to do... I really just need to vent a cry and get my feelings out. I'm at my breaking point with this. Please help if you know of any other resources. Social services has been less than friendly and have offered no alternatives.
Thank you in advance for not bashing me. I'd never have gotten pregnant in the first place if I had been aware of what a scumbag SO would turn out to be. He was a charmer and a scam artist and basically left with all of my savings and checking account money. I went from living in a really nice apartment with a decent job three months ago to be homeless, single, pregnant, and living off a couch. I'm devastated. I had savings and health insurance. I now have nothing.
And before you ask, adoption is not an option for me. I gave up a baby 3 years ago due to a rape and I cannot endure that pain again. I am determined to raise my daughter on my own with as little govt help as necessary. Thank you so much for any thoughts or suggestions.