Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Please help... Disability/PA at a loss. Sorry long

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 90 Replies
I lost my job as a property manager back in August right after I got pregnant... Early pregnancy was extremely difficult and I was sick non-stop... And unable to perform adequately at work. I resigned and we lived off SO's salary. SO and I fell apart for other reasons and he abandoned our apartment and left me there jobless and pregnant. I applied for PA and food stamps. i was denied for PA but given $50 in food stamps. i was totally out of money and evicted from my apartment.



I was desperately seeking work even though I was homeless. The shelters all had waiting lists, I have NO family or friends that would temporarily take me in, and I was still sick as a dog. I finally found a friend who offered her couch on an emergency basis and I found work around the corner at a convenience store... The ONLY job available within walking distance (no car) and I'm SO thankful to be bringing home a paycheck, but here is my problem.



I'm making about a third of my former salary at a job that is WAY to physically difficult for six months pregnant. I can't leave because I desperately need the money, but I don't make enough to save for my own place as I pay rent for this couch and barely have enough leftover to feed myself. I get $50 in food stamps per month but her and her kids eat off of that too.



My prenatal Nurse Practitioner refuses to put me on limited duty or write a not so I can get temporary disability or PA for the remainder of my pregnancy, claiming 'we don't do that' and offering no other alternatives or further explanation, and I am coming home from work in absolute agony at night and spend the entire evening in tears from the pain. There is NO way I will be able to do this for much longer... But I have no other source of income and would be on the streets. I will qualify for PA only after I hit 8 months pregnant and I know my body cannot hold out that long... I'm barely functioning as it is.



My job will not provide ANY accommodation such as a place to sit because I need a statement from the doctor that I am high risk, and I'm really struggling to make it through an entire day without bursting into tears from the pain in my legs and swelling ankles and feet. I have become extremely depressed and have anxiety problems with insomnia, racing thought, obsessive worry, and panic attacks. I have absolutely NO idea where to turn for help and I'm getting to the point of being ready to give up and run away to God knows where.



My baby's father is nowhere to be found and obviously is of no help. I applied for section 8 housing for me and the baby and there is an 8 year waiting list and a waiting list in the HUD apartments where I am staying near my work. So I have no idea where I can live once the baby comes. The couch I'm staying on now is in a house where smoking goes on and I'm scared to death to have a newborn in a smoking atmosphere... It's bad enough to have to breathe it while pregnant. So I don't want to stay here any longer than I have to. It's not healthy.



I just need to hear if there are other options that I'm not thinking of.. I do NOT want to be on PA, I WANT to work as long as I can without killing myself in the process... I will have to be on it for six weeks after delivering but I'm determined to work right away and will have to pump for the baby and pay someone to watch her.



I just have no idea what to do... I really just need to vent a cry and get my feelings out. I'm at my breaking point with this. Please help if you know of any other resources. Social services has been less than friendly and have offered no alternatives.



Thank you in advance for not bashing me. I'd never have gotten pregnant in the first place if I had been aware of what a scumbag SO would turn out to be. He was a charmer and a scam artist and basically left with all of my savings and checking account money. I went from living in a really nice apartment with a decent job three months ago to be homeless, single, pregnant, and living off a couch. I'm devastated. I had savings and health insurance. I now have nothing.



And before you ask, adoption is not an option for me. I gave up a baby 3 years ago due to a rape and I cannot endure that pain again. I am determined to raise my daughter on my own with as little govt help as necessary. Thank you so much for any thoughts or suggestions.




Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 13, 2013 at 9:22 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 13, 2013 at 9:45 AM

What state are you in? I would look in the social service sect of the phonebook and call some churches.Maybe a crisis pregnancy center,they prob have some information.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 13, 2013 at 11:32 AM
Thank you... I called catholic charities too. I am in New York.


Quoting Anonymous:

What state are you in? I would look in the social service sect of the phonebook and call some churches.Maybe a crisis pregnancy center,they prob have some information.


Maks1mommy
by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 11:36 AM
I got nothin, bump!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Pooobaihr
by Platinum Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 11:36 AM
3 moms liked this
Ummmm something is very off. They CANNOT deny you services if you have NOTHING and the only way that is possible is if you've committed some type of fraud in the system prior. So. I suggest you go back to that office and speak with a supervisor because this makes zero to no sense at all.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 13, 2013 at 11:39 AM
3 moms liked this
If your doc says you are not high risk, then you are not high risk. Pregnancy is not a disability, suck it up and deal like all the other pregnant women.
Jessica45
by Bronze Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 11:41 AM
What did Catholic Charities say/do?? Where in NY are you?? I'm on Long Island and I know a few people that work for Catholic Charities in a home for wed mothers. They have a lot resources and ways of helping including housing, baby items, food, they help with getting jobs, etc.

Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you... I called catholic charities too. I am in New York.




Quoting Anonymous:

What state are you in? I would look in the social service sect of the phonebook and call some churches.Maybe a crisis pregnancy center,they prob have some information.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Tasloley
by Bronze Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 11:51 AM
Where in New York? I live in Brooklyn, maybe I can help.


Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you... I called catholic charities too. I am in New York.




Quoting Anonymous:

What state are you in? I would look in the social service sect of the phonebook and call some churches.Maybe a crisis pregnancy center,they prob have some information.



Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
ElitestJen
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 11:55 AM
1 mom liked this

You need to put that child up for adoption.  It's not about you and your pain.  It's about that baby and her future.

momo3fgr8tteens
by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 11:58 AM

So sorry OP. My first thought is that you should have applied for unemployment from your former employer if you had to quit or were asked to resign because of being so sick from your pregnancy. They may have denied it but you could probably appeal it and win. I hope someone else can help, I am not in that area so don't know what is available. Try contacting the Salvation Army and see if they can help with any resources. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 13, 2013 at 12:00 PM
Why will your family not help? How much are you paying rent for couch? Sometimes craigslist has listing for rooms for rent. That might be a better option you would have your own space. It has worked out well for me before.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)