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I love DH.......BUT I would NEVER get involved with a man that has underage kids and an ex that is in the picture.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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4 moms liked this

I don't know what it is like to not have to deal with all the BS that goes along with it. It is all I have ever known. For those that are going to bash me, don't, I love the kids. I would have no problem dating someone with kids if BM was COMPLETELY out of the picture. 

My husband's ex actually likes me but has treated DH like absolute shit. I am glad that the kids are all grown and I don't have to have much to do with her any more.

I often wonder what it would have been like to be the first and only. I chose him though and accepted all that came with the relationship. I plan on being with him forever but if I wasn't, I would never do it again.   

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 13, 2013 at 9:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
joyfullem
by Bronze Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 9:59 AM
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Live and learn.  if I ever get remarried )and I hope my marriages lasts forever) I would only marry somone that had no immediate femal relatives. No mother, sister, maybe even cousins! MY inlaws suck

AngelaDD
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 10:01 AM
I could never have married a man with kids I have kids prior to my marriage and have no idea how hubby deals with it...I'm a little controling so I know if he had other kids id be overstepping their mom a lot not intentionally but yea I'm a control freak....lol
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jlg12678
by Bronze Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 10:04 AM
Well, I think it's hood that you know what you can/cannot handle. There is nothing wrong with that.

I'm a bm and a sm. When I was dating I knew there was no way in hell I'd be ok with someone who had kids with more than one ex. This was a deal breaker to me.

My life as a bm is much easier than my life as a sm. My son's dad/sm are really easy to work with and get along with. Bm, to put or nicely, is not. My dh looks at this as a temporary issue as once his kids are adults he will not have to deal with/interact with bm unless he chooses to.
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2ltlmonkeyz
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 10:05 AM

Well I married dh thinking his 2 adult sons would act like adults . WRONG !! They are the poorest excuses for men i have ever seen and spoiled and although dh's children are grown the crazy ass ex still calls and acts a fool , I am with you I don't know that my marriage will make it through this so IF i ever get married again there will be no kids from a previous relationship or a crazy ass ex . I am with you on this one i have had my feel of the BS !

svolkov
by Emerald Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 10:06 AM
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I think id put up with a lot if I really loved someone
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 13, 2013 at 10:07 AM
9 moms liked this

Valid points but there are two sides to every story.  My husband has had people think I treated him badly when it was he who disappeared on me and our kids whenever it suited him.  He didn't help with anything at home or spend time with our kids until and if he felt like it, spent money like would never run out then acted like it was my fault we were broke. 

The only people who know what goes on in a marriage are the two people in it.  Everyone else is just guessing.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 13, 2013 at 10:10 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm sure it's very hard, but one shitty BM doesn't mean all BM's are that way.  My husband and I separated a few years ago and we actually got along better when we were apart.  We agreed that our first priority was co-parenting and not being nasty to each other like our parents were.  Our daughters deserve better than that.

MommyBoha
by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 10:12 AM
I would have never dated my DH if he had kids with his ex. I love the man, but thats baggage I didnt want.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 13, 2013 at 10:25 AM
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Quoting Anonymous:

Valid points but there are two sides to every story.  My husband has had people think I treated him badly when it was he who disappeared on me and our kids whenever it suited him.  He didn't help with anything at home or spend time with our kids until and if he felt like it, spent money like would never run out then acted like it was my fault we were broke. 

The only people who know what goes on in a marriage are the two people in it.  Everyone else is just guessing.

 Their marriage was very short and was a long time ago. She cheated on him with multiple people. She has been blatantly vindictive over the years because he left after he caught her cheating. The kids lived with us for most of their childhood. I married a great guy and a good father. She is on her fourth husband. She can't be too easy to get along with. lol Anyway, I understand what you are saying but what I speak of is stuff that I have witnessed, not even what happened when they were married.

audreesmama
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 10:26 AM
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Same here. Kids are a deal-breaker. I love kids, but I don't love baby mama drama.
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