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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Maybe I am just being petty but...

Posted by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 8:48 PM
  • 89 Replies

 

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Question: Am I being Petty???

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Yes but I Understand

Yes, get over yourself

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My 5 yr old DD is in kindergarten. We qualify for free/reduced lunch program, and this also allowed us to get free school supplies including a backpack, thru an area program.

Last year, we also qualified. She got a back pack for 4K thru the program last year. Well, this year, they were handing out the same backpacks, same designs the whole 9 yards... So I decided that since her bag was still in useable condition, other than looking a little dirty, she could just use it again this year so that another little girl in need could get one, since we didnt NEED... The backpack is perfect size to her smaller body, not like a middle or high school student sized backpack, so I dont have to worry about it being too stuffed, or hurting her back or anything.

Somewhere around October, one of the zipper pulls on a front compartment broke, like to the point that you cant put a keychain on it even... Well, her side zippers stilll work, as well as the main pouch zipper, so she still has been using it...

She just got home from Daddy weekend/Sunday with PG (paternal Grandparents)...

Apparently, while the PGs were shopping, the PGs decided to buy her a new backpack... And instead of getting something that was smaller and what not, they got a full sized backpack, big enough for a high school student... Its complete with Laptop padded case, Headphone jack hole for mp3 players, etc etc...

Im kinda frustrated because for christmas I got her a duffel bag for when we go camping/etc, and it came with a matching backpack that she was really excited about (thank you good will lol)... And my cousins sent down their annual hand-me-downs which included 2 backpacks, so she would be set until she hit 5th or 6th grade at least (1.5-2 yrs/bag)... And the PGs knew this...

The ONLY redeeming quality about the backpack is that it is black (wont show dirt) and on the front zipper pockets, it has white and purple polka dot splash things.... And our school colors are Purple and White... So that is kinda cool (PG's picked it out, DD wasnt even with)...


She (Paternal Gramma) is CONSTANTLY doing things like this... My DD has enuf clothes for her and my 5 yr old neice to each have a different outfit for an entire month, and yet PG shows up with more and more clothes... But they arent always for my house, she has an ENTIRE closet full of clothes at their house, and then obviously clothes at Daddy's house too... She even has her OWN ROOM at the PG's, but her half-siblings from Daddy's GF (3 and 1) dont...

If my DD wants something, and I mean WANT not NEED, the PGs get it for her... She is an overly spoiled child when with them, and then is a mean little brat at home with me because I dont let her get away with things, like not picking up after herself, not catering to her every desire for dinner/snacks, etc...

The PGs go out and buy her a new winter coat/hat/gloves/snowpants/boots about 2 weeks after I procure some for her (either I buy or get hand-me-downs)... And then she always likes theirs better... Santa got her new shoes for christmas, so did they- she is wearing their shoes, santa's havent even been taken out of the box... She has a toothbrush and childrens toothpaste here, plus I have several youth toothbrushes to swap out with every 4-6 months, THEY got her a designer toothbrush and paste for my house... She has plenty of socks (I got her 3 bundles of 'day' socks on clearance and got rid of her other socks so we would know which socks were hers when at daddy's or friends), They bought a bunch of generic socks and then too small undies for her...


I kinda want to make her continue to use the old backpack as it is still useable, and hold onto this one for a few years, but the PGs will throw a fit come Wednesday (daddy day with time at their house first) if she isnt using it....

They have been fully involved in her life since she was 6 or 8 weeks old (when the DNA test they paid for came back that yes, their innocent son sure did have sex with me and get me pregnant altho he denied it until she was 6 months old- even tho she is the spitting image of him)... I have been more than generous, never made daddy pay CS until 6 months ago, let them have her whenever they wanted to, made sure they always got copies of pics we had taken, everything...


Do you think I am being petty? Or do you think I have the right to be aggrivated from the situation?? Do you have a similar situation? How would you or have you handled this?


They are driving me absolutely crazy!!

by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 8:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lilblu399
by Silver Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 8:52 PM
Let her go to the grandparents house with the stuff they brought, you need to chill.
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Melbornj
by Platinum Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 8:53 PM
1 mom liked this
You are bring petty and ridiculous.
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TAG_ur_it
by Platinum Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 8:59 PM

put it away and tell them she can use it when she grows into it. DD's nana sent her a cute backpack but it's much too big for her.  she uses it for play and such, but she as a much smaller, more functional backpack for her size.   any extras that they buy that she already has for your house, send them back over there so she can use them when she's visits.

shudderette
by Silver Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 9:00 PM
1 mom liked this

let it go. I understand how it's driving you nuts, it would me too, but it's just one of those things you can't do anything about. consider her lucky for having grandparents who want to have a relationship with her and can afford to spoil her. kinda sounds like they are trying to make up for not spending much time with her by buying her things. You could have a conversation with them about it. make sure you stress that you appreciate it but it's not necessary. they don't need to buy her love.

Iamlegion
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 9:15 PM
16 moms liked this

I am NOT kidding when I say this:

I am a grandparent to a kindergartener (sp?) and a newborn.  I know my daughter doesn't have a lot of money, so I buy a lot of things for her that I think she might need.  Sometimes, I don't know whether she has things or not, so I buy them just because I THINK she might need them or I think she might grow into them.  

I never buy things to undermine my daughter- I buy things to HELP.

Maybe that is what's going on here, and you just don't realize it.

So, what you SHOULD do is tell your daughter's grandparents a list of the things that your daughter really does need and be appreciative when they get it for her. Let them know how they can help.

They are, after all, just trying to love and support their granddaughter.  And help you out, too- otherwise, they would just be spending their money on taking her out for fun things and not buying her school supplies.

RaynesMommy07
by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 9:19 PM
You're being petty and over the top.
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shannon.m.park
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 9:42 PM

I ususally make sure they know i have certain things, or if I need help with something specific (they paid for school pics this year)...

I owuld almost rather they put the $$ away in her college fund they set up, so that she doesnt have multiples and excess, but you do have a really good point...

I wonder how I can talk to her about this versus having it blow up in my face? DD's daddy's GF usually causes the PG to have an anxiety attack, and with my luck since I suffer from that too, we would both blow up and have attacks lol

Quoting Iamlegion:

I am NOT kidding when I say this:

I am a grandparent to a kindergartener (sp?) and a newborn.  I know my daughter doesn't have a lot of money, so I buy a lot of things for her that I think she might need.  Sometimes, I don't know whether she has things or not, so I buy them just because I THINK she might need them or I think she might grow into them.  

I never buy things to undermine my daughter- I buy things to HELP.

Maybe that is what's going on here, and you just don't realize it.

So, what you SHOULD do is tell your daughter's grandparents a list of the things that your daughter really does need and be appreciative when they get it for her. Let them know how they can help.

They are, after all, just trying to love and support their granddaughter.  And help you out, too- otherwise, they would just be spending their money on taking her out for fun things and not buying her school supplies.


TheMrs407
by Emerald Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 9:45 PM
You are being petty, but that sounds frustrating. Sorry Momma.
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EAzizM
by Erica on Jan. 13, 2013 at 9:46 PM
So you are bitching because her grandparents buy her stuff...? Ok...
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shannon.m.park
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 9:53 PM

Yeah, stuff she doesnt NEED.. and they spoil her constantly as well...

Quoting EAzizM:

So you are bitching because her grandparents buy her stuff...? Ok...


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