Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Labor and delivery nurse wish list for her patients..... really LONG

Posted by   + Show Post

Ill start by saying, I LOVE my job.  Labor and delivery is, to me, the most exciting,rewarding career anyone could have.  I work in a smaller hospital that does not have seperate postpartum/nursery, so i get to do it all, from critical babies, high risk moms to breastfeeding education.  It really is great.  There are some things, however, I find myself wishing/hoping/praying that new mom's knew  (actually that any of my patients knew)

1) Labor isn't a spectator sport.  If its your first baby and  your here for an induction, the 25 person entourage really isn't helping anyone.  Limit your visitors during labor, you have things to concentrate on, and im not a cruise director (fetching pillows, chairs, drinks, blankets for 5-6 visitors all shift really takes away from my time with my other patients).  Now your husband? Ill fetch him and you whatever you need with no problems.

2)Speaking of inductions.  Stop it.  Please.  I know the end of pregnancy sucks.. but we can't induce at all until 39 weeks unless there is a legitamate medical reason.  Besides that, do you know how many times we intervene someone INTO a c-section?  If your body isn't ready, its going to be a a)long painful induction or b)a c-section for failure to progress.   Oh sure, you may be told  "your baby is just too big to come down", or "you have a very narrow pelvis" or some other weird excuse.. but often, the induction wasn't needed.

3) We are not the evil "birth experience stealing" people you think we are.  We try to give you every thing  you want.. but we are bound by rules and regulations also.  Also... asking for an induction, then getting mad at me because i insist on monitoring you, is really not the best practice.  If your on pitocin, i need to see how its affecting  your uterus and your baby.  Most of us do know and favor natural labor and birth.

4) read a book.  okay, this may be number one.  do you know how many women i take care of that dont have ANY clue how labor works, what a cervix is, or anything.  Its depressing.  Take some responsibility for your own health care.  Inform yourself.  Seriously, labor wouldn't be HALF as scary if you knew what was going on.

5) If there is trouble, an emergency. Please cooperate.  Im trying to help  you and your baby.  Refusing to wear oxygen or turn over is really stupid of you... this happens WAY more than it should.  And should I really have to fight you on this?  If your nurse is worried, there is prob a good reason.  I dont get anxious much at all.

6) Breastfeed.  At least try.  Once.  The colostrum is so good for your baby, and the skin to skin contact is the best way for him to regulate to life outside the womb.  If you dont want to, thats fine, and I wont judge.. but I will ask you at least once to reconsider.  This is mostly due to its the best for baby.. but new regulations and reimbursement issues are making me do it as well.

7) Again with the entourages... its great that you want to share your birth.  Really!  I get it.  I dont even mind large crowds.  I mind ENTITLED crowds.   I mind crowds that impede my walkway down the hall to get to my other patients, and I really mind vulgar crowds or drunk crowds.  Just please... keep it chill.  I really dont like being a bouncer... but i do have to at times.

8) Dont tell me that you dont want an epidural for your induction, but then cry, scream, and generally freak out about the IV.  Its not THAT bad.  It hurts less than a child coming out of your vagina, i promise.  I will admit that I will judge you a little bit for real tears and snot because of an IV.  I know its uncomfortable.. but im really really good at it, and it really will take me less than a minute if you hold still and give me your arm.

9) Dont care if you shave, or have a full bush.  makes me no difference.  The only things ive EVER noticed is 1) a biohazard tattoo right above her vagina  2) braids with beads  3) long hair that was (seriously) down to her thigh.   You know what I DO notice though.. really poor hygiene.  Shower daily, that is all.

10) dont complain to me how you can't feed your baby, have no carseat, no baby clothes, no formula, no WIC appointment, no foodstamps, no car, and no way to get your medicine if you are holding an Iphone with a manicure and a great dye job.  Worse if you and your S.O each have a laptop and your S.O has hooked his playstation up to our TV to play.  Even worse if you are THC positive or whining about not being able to smoke.   Your pregnant, be responsible.   Plus, how do you expect me to help you in the 24 hours I have with you after delivery???  magic?

11) Speaking of sig others... please just introduce the man in the room.  I have offended people by assuming marriage and paternity.  Now i just ask, "and who is with you today".  I really cant keep track of boyfriends vs baby daddy's vs husbands. (or girlfriends)  Its hard.  If people would just be upfront, it would keep me from having to guess.

LOL.. these things happen weekly around here.. and the more i read about how horrible hospitals and labor nurses and OB docs are.. the more I feel the need to show MY side.   (and im having horrible insomnia) 

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:03 AM
Replies (441-447):
Kage336
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 6:33 PM
Thank you, first of all. I could not do your job!

My OB nurse actually complimented my knowledge of delivery for being a first time mom. I thought it was pretty obvious to read up on what can happen but she said she's delivered women almost twice my age who had no idea and were terrified.

DF's mom is an OB nurse and I've heard all sorts of ridiculous stories. I can't believe how stupid some people can be.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mrsrodgers0703
by Ruby Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 6:40 PM
I'm not the anon that you quoted, and I'm sure you are a wonderful nurse. I did want to say this though. You were talking about how gross it is to not shower daily and you don't care if there is a giant bush, just bathe. I was on bedrest and a bedpan for days before my emergency csection. Bathing wasn't an option. I actually cried to my dh (not to the nurse) when they wouldn't let me up to wash. I'm just saying, sometimes it can't be helped at all.


Quoting OkieOBRN:

Wow... negative much anon? Lol.



Im an awesome nurse and am requested alllll the time. You are one of the few ppl who took this badly...



Do my job..and you would understand ...




Quoting Anonymous:

1) Labor isn't a spectator sport. If its your first baby and your here for an induction, the 25 person entourage really isn't helping anyone. Limit your visitors during labor, you have things to concentrate on, and im not a cruise director (fetching pillows, chairs, drinks, blankets for 5-6 visitors all shift really takes away from my time with my other patients). Now your husband? Ill fetch him and you whatever you need with no problems.   My family wouldn't expect anything out of you, however, there are people I rely on to help w/my anxiety, don't like it give me another nurse.



2)Speaking of inductions. Stop it. Please. I know the end of pregnancy sucks.. but we can't induce at all until 39 weeks unless there is a legitamate medical reason. Besides that, do you know how many times we intervene someone INTO a c-section? If your body isn't ready, its going to be a a)long painful induction or b)a c-section for failure to progress. Oh sure, you may be told "your baby is just too big to come down", or "you have a very narrow pelvis" or some other weird excuse.. but often, the induction wasn't needed. I was induced at 36 weeks, it sucked I havenoting else to say other than yes my pelvis WAS TO NARROW & cracked. Would've happened no matter what but I will take that over a c-section.



3) We are not the evil "birth experience stealing" people you think we are. We try to give you every thing you want.. but we are bound by rules and regulations also. Also... asking for an induction, then getting mad at me because i insist on monitoring you, is really not the best practice. If your on pitocin, i need to see how its affecting your uterus and your baby. Most of us do know and favor natural labor and birth. If you favor natural labor & birth, don't judge me when I don't have one.



4) read a book. okay, this may be number one. do you know how many women i take care of that dont have ANY clue how labor works, what a cervix is, or anything. Its depressing. Take some responsibility for your own health care. Inform yourself. Seriously, labor wouldn't be HALF as scary if you knew what was going on.  FYI when someone is scared & nervous sometimes all the education goes out the window, try to remember that.



5) If there is trouble, an emergency. Please cooperate. Im trying to help you and your baby. Refusing to wear oxygen or turn over is really stupid of you... this happens WAY more than it should. And should I really have to fight you on this? If your nurse is worried, there is prob a good reason. I dont get anxious much at all.  Remember that these women ARE scared and anxious so many times it is't that they don't want to cooperate it is that their body is in fight or flight mode.



6) Breastfeed. At least try. Once. The colostrum is so good for your baby, and the skin to skin contact is the best way for him to regulate to life outside the womb. If you dont want to, thats fine, and I wont judge.. but I will ask you at least once to reconsider. This is mostly due to its the best for baby.. but new regulations and reimbursement issues are making me do it as well.  Hmmm...you sound judgemental when you try to get someone to change their mind.



7) Again with the entourages... its great that you want to share your birth. Really! I get it. I dont even mind large crowds. I mind ENTITLED crowds. I mind crowds that impede my walkway down the hall to get to my other patients, and I really mind vulgar crowds or drunk crowds. Just please... keep it chill. I really dont like being a bouncer... but i do have to at times.  Never seen this issue.



8) Dont tell me that you dont want an epidural for your induction, but then cry, scream, and generally freak out about the IV. Its not THAT bad. It hurts less than a child coming out of your vagina, i promise. I will admit that I will judge you a little bit for real tears and snot because of an IV. I know its uncomfortable.. but im really really good at it, and it really will take me less than a minute if you hold still and give me your arm. No offense but way to be a bitch.  Some people do have panic attacks when it comes to needles, judge me for my real tears & give me an attitude & I will more than likely rip your head off. You have NO idea what I have gone through in my life so shove your damn judgement.  Thank GOD you were NOT my nurse!  Oh & the first nurse I had, I kicked her ass out bc she was judgemental & I couldn't stand her anymore.



9) Dont care if you shave, or have a full bush. makes me no difference. The only things ive EVER noticed is 1) a biohazard tattoo right above her vagina 2) braids with beads 3) long hair that was (seriously) down to her thigh. You know what I DO notice though.. really poor hygiene. Shower daily, that is all.  For someone in the medical field you should know that there are medical reasons or bad body odor, they are embarrassed.



10) dont complain to me how you can't feed your baby, have no carseat, no baby clothes, no formula, no WIC appointment, no foodstamps, no car, and no way to get your medicine if you are holding an Iphone with a manicure and a great dye job. Worse if you and your S.O each have a laptop and your S.O has hooked his playstation up to our TV to play. Even worse if you are THC positive or whining about not being able to smoke. Your pregnant, be responsible. Plus, how do you expect me to help you in the 24 hours I have with you after delivery??? magic?  Oh you are one of those judgemental people.  Iphone, can't just get rid of your contract.  Many can do manicures all on their own.  I dye my own hair & it looks awesome :) Many NEED laptop for school, play station isn't going to get you much money.  Trying to quit smoking is NOT easy, took me a long time.  There is lots of help out there that canbe done in 24hrs.  I also think it is ridiculous new mom's are kicked out at 24hrs. 



11) Speaking of sig others... please just introduce the man in the room. I have offended people by assuming marriage and paternity. Now i just ask, "and who is with you today". I really cant keep track of boyfriends vs baby daddy's vs husbands. (or girlfriends) Its hard. If people would just be upfront, it would keep me from having to guess. Why do you even need to know, just find out who is assisting during the birth, you don't really need to know much else about them.



Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
RaynesMommy07
by Ruby Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 6:49 PM
I only have DF in the delivery room. I'm not much for a show and chaos. I'm a hard stick and I know that I am. I try to help the nurses as much as I can.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 42 on Apr. 8, 2013 at 8:04 PM

 I was not negative, I'm sorry you have nothing useful to reply with. I apparently made good points.

Do your job?  I use to work in an ER thanks.

 

Quoting OkieOBRN:

Wow... negative much anon? Lol.

Im an awesome nurse and am requested alllll the time. You are one of the few ppl who took this badly...

Do my job..and you would understand ...


Quoting Anonymous:

1) Labor isn't a spectator sport. If its your first baby and your here for an induction, the 25 person entourage really isn't helping anyone. Limit your visitors during labor, you have things to concentrate on, and im not a cruise director (fetching pillows, chairs, drinks, blankets for 5-6 visitors all shift really takes away from my time with my other patients). Now your husband? Ill fetch him and you whatever you need with no problems.   My family wouldn't expect anything out of you, however, there are people I rely on to help w/my anxiety, don't like it give me another nurse.


2)Speaking of inductions. Stop it. Please. I know the end of pregnancy sucks.. but we can't induce at all until 39 weeks unless there is a legitamate medical reason. Besides that, do you know how many times we intervene someone INTO a c-section? If your body isn't ready, its going to be a a)long painful induction or b)a c-section for failure to progress. Oh sure, you may be told "your baby is just too big to come down", or "you have a very narrow pelvis" or some other weird excuse.. but often, the induction wasn't needed. I was induced at 36 weeks, it sucked I havenoting else to say other than yes my pelvis WAS TO NARROW & cracked. Would've happened no matter what but I will take that over a c-section.


3) We are not the evil "birth experience stealing" people you think we are. We try to give you every thing you want.. but we are bound by rules and regulations also. Also... asking for an induction, then getting mad at me because i insist on monitoring you, is really not the best practice. If your on pitocin, i need to see how its affecting your uterus and your baby. Most of us do know and favor natural labor and birth. If you favor natural labor & birth, don't judge me when I don't have one.


4) read a book. okay, this may be number one. do you know how many women i take care of that dont have ANY clue how labor works, what a cervix is, or anything. Its depressing. Take some responsibility for your own health care. Inform yourself. Seriously, labor wouldn't be HALF as scary if you knew what was going on.  FYI when someone is scared & nervous sometimes all the education goes out the window, try to remember that.


5) If there is trouble, an emergency. Please cooperate. Im trying to help you and your baby. Refusing to wear oxygen or turn over is really stupid of you... this happens WAY more than it should. And should I really have to fight you on this? If your nurse is worried, there is prob a good reason. I dont get anxious much at all.  Remember that these women ARE scared and anxious so many times it is't that they don't want to cooperate it is that their body is in fight or flight mode.


6) Breastfeed. At least try. Once. The colostrum is so good for your baby, and the skin to skin contact is the best way for him to regulate to life outside the womb. If you dont want to, thats fine, and I wont judge.. but I will ask you at least once to reconsider. This is mostly due to its the best for baby.. but new regulations and reimbursement issues are making me do it as well.  Hmmm...you sound judgemental when you try to get someone to change their mind.


7) Again with the entourages... its great that you want to share your birth. Really! I get it. I dont even mind large crowds. I mind ENTITLED crowds. I mind crowds that impede my walkway down the hall to get to my other patients, and I really mind vulgar crowds or drunk crowds. Just please... keep it chill. I really dont like being a bouncer... but i do have to at times.  Never seen this issue.


8) Dont tell me that you dont want an epidural for your induction, but then cry, scream, and generally freak out about the IV. Its not THAT bad. It hurts less than a child coming out of your vagina, i promise. I will admit that I will judge you a little bit for real tears and snot because of an IV. I know its uncomfortable.. but im really really good at it, and it really will take me less than a minute if you hold still and give me your arm. No offense but way to be a bitch.  Some people do have panic attacks when it comes to needles, judge me for my real tears & give me an attitude & I will more than likely rip your head off. You have NO idea what I have gone through in my life so shove your damn judgement.  Thank GOD you were NOT my nurse!  Oh & the first nurse I had, I kicked her ass out bc she was judgemental & I couldn't stand her anymore.


9) Dont care if you shave, or have a full bush. makes me no difference. The only things ive EVER noticed is 1) a biohazard tattoo right above her vagina 2) braids with beads 3) long hair that was (seriously) down to her thigh. You know what I DO notice though.. really poor hygiene. Shower daily, that is all.  For someone in the medical field you should know that there are medical reasons or bad body odor, they are embarrassed.


10) dont complain to me how you can't feed your baby, have no carseat, no baby clothes, no formula, no WIC appointment, no foodstamps, no car, and no way to get your medicine if you are holding an Iphone with a manicure and a great dye job. Worse if you and your S.O each have a laptop and your S.O has hooked his playstation up to our TV to play. Even worse if you are THC positive or whining about not being able to smoke. Your pregnant, be responsible. Plus, how do you expect me to help you in the 24 hours I have with you after delivery??? magic?  Oh you are one of those judgemental people.  Iphone, can't just get rid of your contract.  Many can do manicures all on their own.  I dye my own hair & it looks awesome :) Many NEED laptop for school, play station isn't going to get you much money.  Trying to quit smoking is NOT easy, took me a long time.  There is lots of help out there that canbe done in 24hrs.  I also think it is ridiculous new mom's are kicked out at 24hrs. 


11) Speaking of sig others... please just introduce the man in the room. I have offended people by assuming marriage and paternity. Now i just ask, "and who is with you today". I really cant keep track of boyfriends vs baby daddy's vs husbands. (or girlfriends) Its hard. If people would just be upfront, it would keep me from having to guess. Why do you even need to know, just find out who is assisting during the birth, you don't really need to know much else about them.


 

 

twin_mama_x_2
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 8:11 PM
My nurses were all wonderful when I had both sets of my twins..I had the best birth experiences because of them & i will never forget how great they all were:)
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
TinaNicu
by Bronze Member on Apr. 14, 2013 at 7:52 PM

I never said that the staff have the final say on anything. I simply see that people who have a problem with authority figures usually project their disdain on medical staff also because they do not respect other people. I've seen drug addicts who flip their noses to their parents, the cops, their teachers, and anyone else who they don't agree with and then throw their weight around and threaten staff because they want to take their drug addicted baby AMA when it is clearly a harm to the child to be without the proper medical care. 


Quoting angevil53:

No offense but a nurse is not an authority figure. They have skills but they don't get a final say on a child's care. The parent does.


Quoting TinaNicu:

I agree with this list. Well done. I agree with #10 as I see it in the NICU too. 

You should add: do not come in with a chip on your shoulder and a preconceived notion that is false about the staff and unit. Do not treat us like crap because you have a problem with authority figures or people in general. I have dealt with some real pieces of work in my day. Some of the things they complain about are ridiculous and/or have no truth to it.

also, if you plan on BF, please read SOMETHING about it before you have the baby! It would help things go smoother for everyone. 




bshoemaker
by on Apr. 14, 2013 at 8:13 PM
Don't forget to add that inductions may take longer than expected. I personally know a lot of first time moms that thought they were popping a baby out within hours of induction to find out later that was no the case. Don't be impatient, it happens when it happens.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)