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how to hanndle this my son came out today

Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies

so my son is gay. he told the whole world on facebook. that is how me and his step dad found out.  I'm not upset about the gay part to be honest i don't understand it he has always had real pretty girlfriends. so how could he be just gay and not bi? I'm not sure. how do i handle this? my family and his dads family are very anti gay. in fact when i placed my birth-son with a gay couple two men they did not speak to me for 5 years. his older sister is not handling very well. she will not even speak to him right now. not because he is gay but because of how he came out. his bio dad is very pissed about it saying its all my fault. saying its how i raised him. ( i have raisedmy kids to love everyone no matter what). half of his friends parents called and said they could no longer be friends. we do live in a very small town a very religious town. i'm  not sure how to help him there is a lotof negative heading towards him and he is only 15. how do i help him? how do i keep him safe? how is he sure at such a young age? how do i deal with his bio dad? how do i deal with the family on all sides? how do i get him and his sister to talk once more. how do i make this not a war zone of words for him?  how do i keep him safe from all the bad that will come his way? how do we as a family deal with this? please don't be nasty if you are going to replay. I'm only looking for help and answers.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 14, 2013 at 5:17 AM
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by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 5:22 AM
2 moms liked this

To me, the important thing is that he's not keeping the secret any longer.  Love him.  Hug him.  Make sure he knows you love and and accept him just the same and I wouldn't tolerate any negative in my home from his sister or anyone else.  By 15, you knew if you were attracted to men or women.

I don't know how to protect him from everything else, but he needs one safe, loving, secure environment and that should be his own home IMO.

Good luck momma!  Hugs and I hope all goes a lot smoother than expected for him!

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 5:23 AM
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You simply LOVE him and accept  him for who HE is.... It may take some time to adjust to it. But I think if everyone sees how you react to it they will come around as well. Your son needs you and from the sounds of it, It sounds like you're the only one in his family who will be there for him and accept him. My brother is gay. He was so scared to tell me and we are VERY close. We were VERY close when he didn't tell me. But I kind of figured because he never went out or hung out with girls that much. Although he had (has) some female friends.  

I saw the fear in his face when he was about to tell me and he held back the tears in his eyes  from the fear of rejection... I love my big brother :) Love your s on as if he wan't gay.......... The person who he is inside hasn't changed. Just his preference in gender. He still loves his mom :) Just as much as he did before you found out he is gay. Unconditional love !! Show it! regardless of what your family or his dad and his dads family things or what they say. he is YOUR son!! :)

by Ruby Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 5:32 AM

I have no idea. I dont think you can do anything. As mom we wish we could but he has a war to fight for the rest of his life. We all have wars, this will be his. He is not odd for having it. He is not differnt, his war is just different than say his sisters.

I guess you just keep reminding him you lpve him no matter who doesn't, everyday; forever. Good luck.

by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 14, 2013 at 5:35 AM
Honey, he is as sure at 15 that he is gay as you were at 15 that you are straight. All you can do is love him, stand up for him, let him continue to be the same son he was to you before he came out. I know you want to protect him from the negative. All you can do is say this is my son, I love him, if you don't like it kick rock to all those who are turning from him. He couldn't keep hiding, would you really want him to hide who he is? You can do it momma, you can be strong enough to support him and stand up for him.
by Ruby Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 5:35 AM
Love him don't turn your back on him
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by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 14, 2013 at 5:42 AM

Why would him being gay change his life at all, other than who he sleeps with? I don't get it? and at 15 he shouldn't be sleeping with ANYONE!

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 5:42 AM

 I can understand being upset and how he came out.  I would want to be told personally first then Joe Shmoe who lives down the road can know.  You just love him and guide him the best that you can.  Make sure he finds someone who he REALLY loves and cares for him and that will return his feelings no matter WHAT sex they are.  I just cant see a 15 year old boy saying hes gay to get attention(unless someone got on his FB page and is thinking they are being funny)  He should talk to his sister about it.  Let her say her feelings and have him listen. Maybe he can tell her and she could understand why he chose THAT WAY to let everyone know.  Kids no matter straight gay bi trans will always have hurtful words said to them but its the love and positive environment at home that helps them heal and know that they are strong and better than those words!  Good luck!

by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 14, 2013 at 5:59 AM

Love him, support him, fuck your family, love him, support him, fuck the stupid people in your town, love him, support him, remind your daughter she was raised better than she is acting and give her a little time to wrap her head around this new info, love him, support him, fuck the stupid people.

by Silver Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 6:05 AM

Like everybody said. Make sure he knows you love him no matter what. The rest of the family can be dealt with slowly.

by Gold Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 6:06 AM

Hopefully everyone will get used to it, it is what it is, tell him you support him no matter which sex he likes and that he should wait a while to have sex. He's still a child with an immature brain.

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