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Leaving is the first response? *EDIT*

Posted by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 5:39 AM
  • 109 Replies
6 moms liked this

Why is everyone's immediate reaction to your spouse calling you a name or yelling at you even if it's not name calling to leave his sorry butt?

Why not see if your spouse is willing to go to a psychiatrist to find out what's wrong, why they're acting that way, if they need medication due to being bipolar or too stressed and not knowing how to relieve that stress properly? What if they were raised in a home that was abusive in any way and that's all they knew? If they could get proper help and be able to change by knowing how to vent properly, the relationship could be saved and there would be less divorces etc. Just because someone might call you a name, ESPECIALLY if it's seemingly out of the blue, or when they're angry, doesn't mean they don't love you, it it could mean that they don't know how to release their anger properly, they don't comprehend how to calmly talk because maybe they've had to yell in order to be heard too many times in the past and they have just grown accustomed to it or something, and need help to reevaluate {sp?} their demeanor.


It baffles me that the first response isn't to try to get help, it's always to just leave and not work on the relationship and find the underlying cause. I understand this is not always the case, that sometimes there are jerks etc., but if everyone leaves that person, how will they ever get the help they need if that is what's wrong?


EDIT: I haven't yet had a chance to read all of the replies but what I have read, I have to say that I do agree that if name calling from either side happens over and over, constantly, and getting help is suggested but it continues etc., then that could and probably should be considered verbal abuse and leaving might be the only option. But if it's not a common thing, if it's in the heat of an argumement, I don't see how anyone could just immediately think "leave." Unless, as one of the posts said, they were looking for a reason to leave anyway, or if they have the mind frame that you don't have to fix something that's broken because you can buy a new one. If that is the case, that's pretty sad, of course. For better or for worse, not for better or leave. Just my thoughts after reading a few replies.

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 5:39 AM
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Replies (1-10):
xMs.Shannax
by Bronze Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 6:15 AM
5 moms liked this

If he calls you a bitch or something in the middle of an argument I feel that even going to see a psychiatrist is a bit extreme! I mean seriously...calling someone a name in the heat of the moment because you are angry really isn't that serious! Now if you can not handle yourself and you swing on them that is a totally different ball game.

Maks1mommy
by Ruby Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 6:19 AM
1 mom liked this
This is exactly what I was going to say.

Quoting xMs.Shannax:

If he calls you a bitch or something in the middle of an argument I feel that even going to see a psychiatrist is a bit extreme! I mean seriously...calling someone a name in the heat of the moment because you are angry really isn't that serious! Now if you can not handle yourself and you swing on them that is a totally different ball game.

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TigressLily
by Silver Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 6:29 AM

bump

Hanab818
by Ruby Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 7:04 AM
3 moms liked this
Because maybe some of these people are looking for a way out o matter how small just to justify leaving. Or they are to lazy to work out there issues. It's the reason why so many of my friends end their relationships. Over petty ass shit. Like being called an ass or bitch when in reality they were acting like one.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 14, 2013 at 7:19 AM
1 mom liked this

But leaving said spouse isn't extreme???  That's what OP's point is.  If a woman posts that her husband, in a  heated argument calls her a bitch or some other name, or yells at her, women around these parts SCREAM for her to leave him. 

Quoting xMs.Shannax:

If he calls you a bitch or something in the middle of an argument I feel that even going to see a psychiatrist is a bit extreme! I mean seriously...calling someone a name in the heat of the moment because you are angry really isn't that serious! Now if you can not handle yourself and you swing on them that is a totally different ball game.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 14, 2013 at 7:23 AM
8 moms liked this

Because 80% of the women here are still mentally teens who are incapable of creating a stable life for themselves or their children.  Your question is simply on example of it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 14, 2013 at 7:26 AM
I agree, many of the moms here are very imature.
LiliM
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 7:32 AM
2 moms liked this

Because too many people don't get, and don't want to get, how tough marriage is.  It takes work.  Neither spouse is perfect, and will piss you off royally over the years.  They see marriage as disposable.  

Hence the 50-70% divorce rate, depending on where you live.


lilfishbigocean
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 7:35 AM

 I also love how 99.9% of women on here have a perfect DH/SO. LMAO

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 14, 2013 at 7:40 AM

I wouldn't leave over name calling,  I wouldn't think therapy was needed for that either.  I would leave or kick him out immediately over physical violence or cheating though and no amount of therapy would make me take him back for either of those!

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