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I think df is an alcoholic...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 15 Replies
He hasn't been this way for long, but it's getting to be an all the time thing...

Lately, there isn't a day they he doesn't drink, and it's always excessive. He drinks until he's stumbling and twice this week he's urinated on the floor.

How do I approach telling him I think he needs help? If this doesn't stop, I'll go crazy...
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 14, 2013 at 8:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LoganAndKennedy
by Silver Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 8:37 AM
im unsure: ( but here's a bump
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Laura1427
by Emerald Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 8:43 AM
1 mom liked this

When he is sober, just approach it delicately. Try not to be accusatory, and be sure he knows that you are concerned for him...not mad at him. He will probably get defensive, maybe even argumentative, but you need to keep your cool. Just reinforce that you are worried about him, and you want to help him.

Best of luck.

gypsy30
by Bronze Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 8:51 AM

 I lived with an alcoholic for 4 years.  It's not fun.  But he didn't want to quit and after 4 years of dealing with it, I left.  The only way to really deal with it is head on.  Tell him you think he has a problem and see what he says.  What he says and how he says it will tell you a lot about whether the situation will get better or not.  If he says he doesn't have a problem, which he probably will, you can pretty much count on it not improving.  And if it doesn't improve, I'm not sure I'd stay.  If you do, you're in for a lot of frustration, anger and heartache.  It's not an easy situation.  Hugs to you.  And good luck. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2013 at 8:54 AM
That's pretty much what I was thinking. It's not a pleasant thought, but not everything in life is good I guess

Quoting gypsy30:

 I lived with an alcoholic for 4 years.  It's not fun.  But he didn't want to quit and after 4 years of dealing with it, I left.  The only way to really deal with it is head on.  Tell him you think he has a problem and see what he says.  What he says and how he says it will tell you a lot about whether the situation will get better or not.  If he says he doesn't have a problem, which he probably will, you can pretty much count on it not improving.  And if it doesn't improve, I'm not sure I'd stay.  If you do, you're in for a lot of frustration, anger and heartache.  It's not an easy situation.  Hugs to you.  And good luck. 

3gr8tKids
by Platinum Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 8:56 AM
Id think telling him that he urinated on the floor twice in a week would suffice.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 14, 2013 at 8:56 AM

I don't know the best way to tell him he needs help. I've been there myself when I was 17-18. It took my mom finding around 15 empty fifths of vodka in my room to wake me up. She just mentioned my father, a raging abusive alcoholic, and i went to the doctor and saw a therapist and got to the bottom of my drinking. Not something I like to admit often, but I'm not afraid to, just embarrassing. My mom had no idea I was going through it, I never acted like I was. I was even drinking in school. No one knew. I have seriously the best mom in the world and she was always there for me, I was just good at hiding my problems apparently.

Best way to let him know, IMO, ask him if he's had enough when he drinks even one drink. Kind of keep bugging him without being too naggy about it. One day he'll realize, and if he doesn't then that sucks for him.

notjstasocermom
by Sapphire Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:01 AM

that alone does not mean alcoholic. just so you know.

notjstasocermom
by Sapphire Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:02 AM

Anyway I wuld break up with up.

40sandPreg
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:10 AM
You should go to al-anon.

Its not about HIM & the only way to help him is to help youself.
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gypsy30
by Bronze Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:12 AM

 It is not easy living with an alcoholic.  I remember feeling really lonely, because you do get really lonely.  They're there, but they're really not.  And we had a baby together too.  That made it even worse.  I couldn't count on him to help with her at all, and I didn't trust him enough to ever leave her in his care.  It was like having another child to look after.  I gave him many, many chances to turn things around, and he kept telling me he would.  He even went to AA meetings and when they were over, he'd head to the bar.  I finally gave him an ultimatum of two months to get himself back on track.  He promised he would, but he didn't, and so I left.  That was 20 years ago, and he's still an alcoholic today.  But you can't help him unless he wants to help himself, and that's the sad part.  I hope things work out better for you than they did for me.

Quoting Anonymous:

That's pretty much what I was thinking. It's not a pleasant thought, but not everything in life is good I guess

Quoting gypsy30:

 I lived with an alcoholic for 4 years.  It's not fun.  But he didn't want to quit and after 4 years of dealing with it, I left.  The only way to really deal with it is head on.  Tell him you think he has a problem and see what he says.  What he says and how he says it will tell you a lot about whether the situation will get better or not.  If he says he doesn't have a problem, which he probably will, you can pretty much count on it not improving.  And if it doesn't improve, I'm not sure I'd stay.  If you do, you're in for a lot of frustration, anger and heartache.  It's not an easy situation.  Hugs to you.  And good luck. 

 

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