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*update* I accidently blabbed *abortion, christian related*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I was very upset about everything so I went over to see the pastors wife. She said she did not tell my friend about our conversation, just that she offered her support and prayers if she needed them because she noticed that she had missed a few bible studies and teas. She said she told her that if there was anything going on, her office is always open to her.

She told me that she thought my friend had miscarried, but after our discussion she guessed that it was my friend I had supported.

I am honestly torn. I just wish my friend would talk to me and tell me exactly what was said.


A few months ago my best friend had an abortion. I understood her reasons, but pleaded with her to speak with our pastors wife to see if we could come up with an alternative. She refused because she was afraid of the pastors wife judging her. She went through with the abortion and I not only loaned her money towards it and took her, but lied to her family about everything and let her recover at my home.
I feel like I am an accomplice in a murder. Abortion goes against everything I believe in. I love my friend, but I hate what she did.
Yesterday after service I pulled aside the pastors wife and explained what I did and how I felt. I didn't reveal my friends name or any identifying info, but somehow she guessed and called my friend last night. My friend called me and told she never wants to see me again, and I am no longer her kids godmom. I tried to explain what I said and why I spoke to the pastors wife. But she wouldn't listen.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:07 AM
Replies (461-470):
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 11:13 PM

Pastors wife was wrong in contacting her, and your big ass mouth should have stayed shut.. Good one there.. Lost a friend in the process

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 11:14 PM

Quoting Anonymous:

You shouldn't have helped her if you didn't believe in it. That wasn't your situation to tell. You deserve to e removed from her life, I would have done the same if I were her.

by Silver Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 11:16 PM

Op's friend didn't deserve to have her business put out in the open either.  

Quoting LadyF86:

I just don't think she deserves to b shunned. Her friend seems to make irrational decisions s habit.

Quoting angelic.zombie:

I realize that OP didn't just come out and say "Hey I helped __ get an abortion now I feel bad" but it just seems like common sense not to say anything at all to the pastors wife.  Thats why I said to begin with that she should have talked to someone that was not connected to her friend. 

Quoting LadyF86:

She did not tell her it was her friend that this happened to. The pastors wife should not have said anything. Being with the church she should keep things confidential. I understand the friend trusted her but she didn't out her.

Quoting angelic.zombie:

Yes she did. She knew her friend didn't want the pastors wife knowing about the situation. She went to her and pretty much outted her friend to the one person that she really was afraid of finding out for fear of being judged.  If the OP had that much guilt over this she could have found someone else as an outlet.

Quoting LadyF86:

U don't have to justify yourself. U did nothing wrong.

Quoting angelic.zombie:

Then you should have talked to someone not connected to her. 

Quoting Anonymous:

For the last time. I did not blab her business. I went to the wife seeking guidance for myself and my guilt that I felt pertaining to my actions. She guessed who my friend was and contacted her on her own.

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm anti abortion and find it laughable you are when you aided, funded, covered, and helped her in her mission. SMDH.

As for your need to relieve your guilt, shame on you for throwing that girl under the bus. You don't deserve and had you been a better friend you would have drawn the line in helping her after suggesting other guidance. Then you would have minded your own business and not blabbed hers.

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 11:49 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes your pastors wife messed up. Blaming this on her however is messed up. If you had a problem with it you should have told your friend you can't help. You helped your friend and she needed ur confidentiality. I don't care how bad you felt. If you were a good friend you would have taken it to your grave unless she decided to tell someone. If she didn't want anyone to know then it was not your story to tell. I would have done the same thing if I were her. Trust me from experience, it is not an easy thing to do or to live with afterwords so she was already going through some serious emotional termoil and didn't need someone she trusted going behind her back and blabing (even if you didnt say names). You may have felt guilty before, but now due to no ones fault but your own you also have to live with not having a god daughter or a friend. That was a dick move.

by Platinum Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 12:17 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

You should have not helped her if you did not beleave in it.You are a great friend for going out of your way for her.You did not tell anyone who got it done.You really had no one easle to talk to.Your pasters wife should have never called and left it between you to.I would comfront her about it.It's really sad your friend did not take your feeling towards the abortion.


                 I feel for you, and I kinda understand.

       Please feel free to P.M me.

by Anonymous 80 on Jan. 15, 2013 at 1:07 AM
1 mom liked this

 You are a part of a SMALL church family. Did you HONESTLY expect the pastor's wife to not know who you you were speaking about? She knows who your friends are, she knows who recently had a "miscarriage", she's not paid to be stupid (not that she actually gets paid, it's just a figure of speech), she knows how to put 2 and 2 together and get 4. So, deep down you KNEW she would know. You WANTED to lift the burden from your shoulders and pass it on. Pray on that. God expects us to be their for our friends and not betray them like Judah. You did that. I wouldn't be your friend any more either.

by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 2:23 AM

Shame on you.

by Platinum Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 3:11 AM


                 Wait a minute ????


 I have a feeling, her friend, she did not approve ?

 Why did you take her ?

 Why did you pay for it ?


by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 3:17 AM
Even though I read the reason. Why you helped her, you should have said no. Also, I feel people need to stop caring what others think. The pastor's wife is a human being and has made mistakes just like everyone else. The only person we should be trying to please is God. Only God can judge us.
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by Platinum Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 3:23 AM


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