*update* I accidently blabbed *abortion, christian related*

[Anonymous]

Update:
I was very upset about everything so I went over to see the pastors wife. She said she did not tell my friend about our conversation, just that she offered her support and prayers if she needed them because she noticed that she had missed a few bible studies and teas. She said she told her that if there was anything going on, her office is always open to her.

She told me that she thought my friend had miscarried, but after our discussion she guessed that it was my friend I had supported.

I am honestly torn. I just wish my friend would talk to me and tell me exactly what was said.

******************************

A few months ago my best friend had an abortion. I understood her reasons, but pleaded with her to speak with our pastors wife to see if we could come up with an alternative. She refused because she was afraid of the pastors wife judging her. She went through with the abortion and I not only loaned her money towards it and took her, but lied to her family about everything and let her recover at my home.
I feel like I am an accomplice in a murder. Abortion goes against everything I believe in. I love my friend, but I hate what she did.
Yesterday after service I pulled aside the pastors wife and explained what I did and how I felt. I didn't reveal my friends name or any identifying info, but somehow she guessed and called my friend last night. My friend called me and told she never wants to see me again, and I am no longer her kids godmom. I tried to explain what I said and why I spoke to the pastors wife. But she wouldn't listen.

[romalove]

So you suggested that your friend speak to the pastor's wife, and she refused because she felt the woman would judge her, and you spoke to the pastor's wife instead, and the pastor's wife is not only judgy but she is also unable to keep confidences or not confront your friend, and you wonder why she doesn't want you in her life now?

Quoting Anonymous:

I helped her because she was desperate and I was afraid she would try something physically unsafe. I didn't think I would feel this way afterwards. I also didn't think the pastors wife would guess who she was or confront her.

Quoting Anonymous:

You shouldn't have helped her if you didn't believe in it. That wasn't your situation to tell. You deserve to e removed from her life, I would have done the same if I were her.

[Anonymous]

That doesn't matter. You don't tell secrets that weren't yours. Would you appreciate people airing your dirty laundry to the pastors wife? You ran to the one person she didn't want to know.

Honestly your behavior reminds me of 2 small children trying to get in mommy's good graces. You have to run and tell the moment you know something so you look like the saint and the other child looks like the evil girl.

Maybe next times you'll learn to either stay out of it from the start, or not go blabbing your friends secrets to anyone.

Let me guess you plan on talking to the pastors wife about her being mad at you too?

Quoting Anonymous:

I helped her because she was desperate and I was afraid she would try something physically unsafe. I didn't think I would feel this way afterwards. I also didn't think the pastors wife would guess who she was or confront her.

Quoting Anonymous:

You shouldn't have helped her if you didn't believe in it. That wasn't your situation to tell. You deserve to e removed from her life, I would have done the same if I were her.

[Greenstone920]

Yeah, while I would also be royally pissed at you if I was your friend, the fact that the pastor's wife then went and broke YOUR trust says a lot.  I'm sorry this has all ended up in the shitter.

Quoting Anonymous:

I helped her because she was desperate and I was afraid she would try something physically unsafe. I didn't think I would feel this way afterwards. I also didn't think the pastors wife would guess who she was or confront her.

Quoting Anonymous:

You shouldn't have helped her if you didn't believe in it. That wasn't your situation to tell. You deserve to e removed from her life, I would have done the same if I were her.

[VintageWife]

I don't know if I believe this. I don't think you were wrong going to the Pastor's wife since you were just confessing your own guilt to something, but I don't believe she would call someone and say "I know you had an abortion!"

[ausomezombie2.0]

Quoting Megan11587:

Well said.

Quoting Anonymous:

You shouldn't have helped her if you didn't believe in it. That wasn't your situation to tell. You deserve to e removed from her life, I would have done the same if I were her.

[Anonymous]

Why the pastor's wife and not the pastor??? what does she have to do with it? what you did was wrong wrong wrong.....and your friend is right to feel betrayed by you...if you didn't want to help her out you should have said that from the begining....not act like that!

[GirlWSemiAuto]

Your friend feels betrayed and has had her trust violated. I don't think you're the worst person ever, but you did not handle things well. You soothed your guilty conscience at the expense of a woman who trusted you completely. I know you didn't technically reveal her identity, but you did discuss her life with the very woman she didn't want to know.

[AubreeGrace17]

How does that make you feel about your pastors wife now? How do you think she could ever possibly keep her mouth shut if someone came to her with something? Your poor friend. You should be ashamed of yourself for acting so terribly.

[Anonymous]

Confront her??? What business is it of the pastors wife? And why were you blabbling about something that wasn't your business to tell? If you felt guilt over it that is your problem...you are a shitty friend.

Quoting Anonymous:

I helped her because she was desperate and I was afraid she would try something physically unsafe. I didn't think I would feel this way afterwards. I also didn't think the pastors wife would guess who she was or confront her.

Quoting Anonymous:

You shouldn't have helped her if you didn't believe in it. That wasn't your situation to tell. You deserve to e removed from her life, I would have done the same if I were her.

[BlessedBeX3]

 There is NOTHING that pastors wife could have done to help your friend, you beat a dead horse with a stick

She doesn't trust you now, she confided in you, thought you were her best friend. BEst friends dont do these  things. Its gunna take a lot of time if she does trust you again.

Why would you help her with the abortion tho..if you dont believe in it?