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*update* I accidently blabbed *abortion, christian related*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Update:
I was very upset about everything so I went over to see the pastors wife. She said she did not tell my friend about our conversation, just that she offered her support and prayers if she needed them because she noticed that she had missed a few bible studies and teas. She said she told her that if there was anything going on, her office is always open to her.

She told me that she thought my friend had miscarried, but after our discussion she guessed that it was my friend I had supported.

I am honestly torn. I just wish my friend would talk to me and tell me exactly what was said.

******************************

A few months ago my best friend had an abortion. I understood her reasons, but pleaded with her to speak with our pastors wife to see if we could come up with an alternative. She refused because she was afraid of the pastors wife judging her. She went through with the abortion and I not only loaned her money towards it and took her, but lied to her family about everything and let her recover at my home.
I feel like I am an accomplice in a murder. Abortion goes against everything I believe in. I love my friend, but I hate what she did.
Yesterday after service I pulled aside the pastors wife and explained what I did and how I felt. I didn't reveal my friends name or any identifying info, but somehow she guessed and called my friend last night. My friend called me and told she never wants to see me again, and I am no longer her kids godmom. I tried to explain what I said and why I spoke to the pastors wife. But she wouldn't listen.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:07 AM
Replies (31-40):
Mamasgirl524
by Platinum Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:20 AM
I'd be mad if I was your friend too. That was personal private information that she shared with you thinking she wouldn't be judged. Now she's gonna be judged by the whole church.
I would also say something to the pastors wife. Does anyone know what privacy is anymore?
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:20 AM
3 moms liked this

glad im catholic and we have confession and they can't tell anyone! I think it completely out of line for your pastors wife to call this girl...seriously wrong of her...u came to her in confidence :(

Master_Debater
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:20 AM
1 mom liked this
This. And you could've talked to anyone but you chose the pastoer's wife of ALL people.

Quoting Anonymous:

You shouldn't have helped her if you didn't believe in it. That wasn't your situation to tell. You deserve to e removed from her life, I would have done the same if I were her.
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my4kids274
by Platinum Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:21 AM
1 mom liked this

You broke her trust. 

kellysparkles
by Platinum Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:21 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree. If you understood her reasons behind it then you should've left it at that and kept her trust in you; she trusted you with something so big and you blew it. I would've done the same thing she did.

Quoting Anonymous:

You shouldn't have helped her if you didn't believe in it. That wasn't your situation to tell. You deserve to e removed from her life, I would have done the same if I were her.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:21 AM
I tend to go to his wife before him. She runs our moms weekly tea, counsels us on all things related to home and family. I went to her in confidence.


Quoting ksueditz:

This and if you didn't want anybody to know, and felt you needed to get it off your chest or find guidance, why not confide in the pastor. He would have to keep it confidential.




Quoting Anonymous:

You shouldn't have helped her if you didn't believe in it. That wasn't your situation to tell. You deserve to e removed from her life, I would have done the same if I were her.


GirlWSemiAuto
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:22 AM
2 moms liked this
I disagree a little with your first paragraph. The op was telling someone about*her* involvement in an abortion and the subsequent guilt. I don't think op chose the person to go to for absolution appropriately, but she did have the right to talk to someone about her feelings of guilt.

Quoting Anonymous:

That doesn't matter. You don't tell secrets that weren't yours. Would you appreciate people airing your dirty laundry to the pastors wife? You ran to the one person she didn't want to know.



Honestly your behavior reminds me of 2 small children trying to get in mommy's good graces. You have to run and tell the moment you know something so you look like the saint and the other child looks like the evil girl.



Maybe next times you'll learn to either stay out of it from the start, or not go blabbing your friends secrets to anyone.



Let me guess you plan on talking to the pastors wife about her being mad at you too?




Quoting Anonymous:

I helped her because she was desperate and I was afraid she would try something physically unsafe. I didn't think I would feel this way afterwards. I also didn't think the pastors wife would guess who she was or confront her.






Quoting Anonymous:

You shouldn't have helped her if you didn't believe in it. That wasn't your situation to tell. You deserve to e removed from her life, I would have done the same if I were her.


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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:23 AM
1 mom liked this
You should have not helped her if you did not beleave in it.You are a great friend for going out of your way for her.You did not tell anyone who got it done.You really had no one easle to talk to.Your pasters wife should have never called and left it between you to.I would comfront her about it.It's really sad your friend did not take your feeling towards the abortion.
BlessedBeX3
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:23 AM
2 moms liked this

 its not about how YOU feel, its how she feels. She just went through something that is emotionally damaging to some, and you betrayed her. You should have just sat with your friend and activly listened to her talk to you about how SHE feels. Instead you tattled on her

Quoting Anonymous:

I helped her because she was desperate and I was afraid she would try something physically unsafe. I didn't think I would feel this way afterwards. I also didn't think the pastors wife would guess who she was or confront her.


Quoting Anonymous:

You shouldn't have helped her if you didn't believe in it. That wasn't your situation to tell. You deserve to e removed from her life, I would have done the same if I were her.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:23 AM

I can't believe your pastors wife called her! Mine would have never done that but she knows how to keep things to herself and not judge. No wonder your friend didn't want to talk to her about it. I hope you friend will let you explain that you didn't say her name and forgive you. 

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