Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

F***. Me.

Posted by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 11:58 AM
  • 1 Replies
Sooooo......In-laws were here over Xmas with DH grandmother as well. Everything was going ok until FIL mentioned a coworker whose uncle was gay. This started my Seventh Day Adventist in-laws on a rant. DH grandma is very sweet but can be overwhelming at times. She went off about how that is one of the worst sins there is and she just wishes that they would let Jesus into their hearts so they would stop doings things like that and she prays for them every day yada yada yada. MIL chimes in with a couple of judgmental doozies and it turned into a 15 min rant about gays.

Cut scene......I am bi. I have had relationships with women, one lasting 2 years, and those feelings haven't disappeared because I'm married. I've just learned to suppress them out of and respect for my DH.. In-laws did not know this. At this point I'm two seconds away from saying something about gay rights or something of the sort because it was starting to feel a little disrespectful to have a part of me bashed in my own house. Luckily the conversation turned before then.

However I was still fuming and very hurt. I have a very strained relationship at times with my DH and his side of the family because of their devout Seventh Day Adventist ways. I am not, and completely different-a free spirit. I have a tattoo and a nose ring. I like American Dad and have a dry sense of humor that his culture doesn't know how to take me. I try my best to fit in but it is very obvious I'm the odd one out.

Per my Therapist's suggestion of having a small select list of people I could post my vents too on FB I did just that. I had gone over that list 20 times to make sure no one slipped through. I blocked his sister but forgot about her Blog's alt. profile. She sees my rant. Tells in-laws. Chaos ensues. Mind you she met her husband online via a game and had made a blog post about how she thought at first he was a girl but based on how they connected she would have been ok with that. So I found it a tad hypocritical. She does not know that I know.DH told me who it was.

I wrote an apology email because I didn't want trouble and I did feel badly it had gotten back to her and hurt their feelings. She wrote back a letter saying how physically sick when she gets upset, and how she always suspected I was bi. I also part time model and she went off about that. Etc etc. I responded very tactfully that it was hard to hear such unloving words come from such a loving person. And it was hurtful because gay rights is something I feel very strongly about. And about how DH approves of every outfit I go model in, so yes,he is aware of the lingerie ones. I neither confirmed nor denied her statement about me liking girls. I just said that I am very committed to DH, which I am.

Well this freak out session has made DH on edge. He thinks I am going to my photoshoots to have lesbian sex. He got mad and asked why do I have to like such lesbian sounding music(florence and the machine) and all around craziness. He realizes that I have never given him a reason not to trust me but he is having trouble dealing with the sudden waves of jealousy that have come up. He actually came to me and said this, and took the initiative to schedule a therapist appt. for himself so he could get some help.

How much further do I follow through on this with MIL? It feels unresolved still, but she has gone to trying to act like nothing happened. Do I talk to his sister? Do I let it be until the next omg I- cant- believe- you're-this-way situation? Their have been several because she wishes DH had married a nice quiet Seventh Day Adventist girl.

If you read this whole this I love you. Just needed a major vent-fest over what a clusterfuck that turned into. Le sigh.
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 11:58 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-1):
zomgkerrie
by Geek Goddess on Jan. 14, 2013 at 12:34 PM

BUMP!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)