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It makes me so sad

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 19 Replies


I really want to have another baby in the next few years. I have two kids now. Dh and I always agreed we would have three, even before we got married. But right after our second was born, he said he's happy with our family dynamic and he doesn't want anymore kids. I'm really sad about it. I love being a mom, I loved being pregnant. I love all the changes in my children and watching them grow.

I can't do anything about it though. I'm not willing to get pregnant without dh's knowledge or consent, and I've discussed it at length with him and he is not budging at all. He wants to get a vasectomy sometime soon.

This just really sucks. I can't have another baby if my dh doesn't want to, that wouldn't be fair to dh or the baby. I guess I'm hoping that I will get over it and move on with time. Has anyone else been where I am? I feel like I can't even be mad at dh for changing his mind, either, I mean, people change their minds all the time, and I just have to respect his views. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 14, 2013 at 1:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
nysa76
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 1:41 PM

I think that it's totally awesome that you are respecting his wishes even at your own expense.  Kudos momma!  Wish a lot more women would follow that path.  I am so sorry that you are hurting.  Hugs!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 14, 2013 at 1:43 PM

Why doesn't he want anymore, how old are you guys?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 14, 2013 at 1:45 PM

 Totally! I think it's awesome OP that you'll probably be sad and aching for that baby the rest of your life but as long as your husbands allowed to pull the rug and be respected for his opinion then you are doing your wifely duty  (:

Quoting nysa76:

I think that it's totally awesome that you are respecting his wishes even at your own expense.  Kudos momma!  Wish a lot more women would follow that path.  I am so sorry that you are hurting.  Hugs!

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2013 at 1:45 PM


Quoting nysa76:

I think that it's totally awesome that you are respecting his wishes even at your own expense.  Kudos momma!  Wish a lot more women would follow that path.  I am so sorry that you are hurting.  Hugs!

Thanks. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2013 at 1:46 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

Why doesn't he want anymore, how old are you guys?

We are both 29...he says our family dynamic is perfect the way it is. He also doesn't want to add to the financial responsibility, like saving for college, etc.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2013 at 1:47 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

 Totally! I think it's awesome OP that you'll probably be sad and aching for that baby the rest of your life but as long as your husbands allowed to pull the rug and be respected for his opinion then you are doing your wifely duty  (:

Quoting nysa76:

I think that it's totally awesome that you are respecting his wishes even at your own expense.  Kudos momma!  Wish a lot more women would follow that path.  I am so sorry that you are hurting.  Hugs!

 

Well, it's better for me to be sad while respecting his opinion than to bring a baby into the world when it's father wouldn't want it.

nysa76
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 1:48 PM

Never said anything about a "wifely duty".  It's called respecting your spouse.  If he still wanted another and she didn't, he would need to respect that even though it means him hurting.  When it comes to a baby, it takes 2 yes's.  One no trumps all or it is a bad situation to bring that child into.

I don't see why having respect for your spouse in big decisions is a bad thing.

Quoting Anonymous:

 Totally! I think it's awesome OP that you'll probably be sad and aching for that baby the rest of your life but as long as your husbands allowed to pull the rug and be respected for his opinion then you are doing your wifely duty  (:

Quoting nysa76:

I think that it's totally awesome that you are respecting his wishes even at your own expense.  Kudos momma!  Wish a lot more women would follow that path.  I am so sorry that you are hurting.  Hugs!

 


AutymsMommy
by Platinum Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 1:49 PM

I'm taking this as sarcasm.

What would the compromise be? That she gets pregnant by deception and the father is never happy or resents her? That she leaves him over it?

Quoting Anonymous:

 Totally! I think it's awesome OP that you'll probably be sad and aching for that baby the rest of your life but as long as your husbands allowed to pull the rug and be respected for his opinion then you are doing your wifely duty  (:

Quoting nysa76:

I think that it's totally awesome that you are respecting his wishes even at your own expense.  Kudos momma!  Wish a lot more women would follow that path.  I am so sorry that you are hurting.  Hugs!

 


I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee














Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 14, 2013 at 1:49 PM

 Then he should have just had one kid

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Anonymous:

Why doesn't he want anymore, how old are you guys?

We are both 29...he says our family dynamic is perfect the way it is. He also doesn't want to add to the financial responsibility, like saving for college, etc.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2013 at 1:51 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

 Then he should have just had one kid

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Anonymous:

Why doesn't he want anymore, how old are you guys?

We are both 29...he says our family dynamic is perfect the way it is. He also doesn't want to add to the financial responsibility, like saving for college, etc.

 

Why? He has no problem with having two.

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