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Sloppy Vs. Put-Together; An Observation

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I've seen multiple threads about what is and is not acceptable for ladies to wear out in public. Typically, the ladies who are more "put-together" think the "sloppy" ladies are lazy/dirty or whatever. And the pj/yoga pant wearing ladies suggest they can wear whatever they want.

Well, a few minutes ago, I noticed something and realized it wasn't the first time I'd seen it and I thought it interesting. I'm at work right now. ***Let me go ahead and preface this with the fact that I usually am dressed up with hair done, makeup done, jewelry on, heels on, etc...*** I work with the public. I was walking from my desk to our break room to get a drink and a couple of ladies were in our lobby area, about to see one of our other employees. These ladies were they type that, on CM, would be bashed for looking sloppy. It really was pretty bad. They were both very heavy, yet wearing some sort of lounging attire that wasn't big enough for them. One of them had greasy hair up in a messy ponytail. They both wear wearing flip flops (its pouring down rain and cold outside). And I could see the butt crack of one of them. Now, although that's not how I would leave the house, I really don't care what they look like. Working with the public, there's not much I don't see and it takes a lot to phase me. But here's what got me....Both of them, and one in particular didn't even try to hide it, looked at ME with disdain. They looked me up and down and gave me "that look" that women give other women when they've sized them up and decided they hate them whether they know them or not. I wouldn't have even noticed them at all had I not felt myself being looked at. Then, one of my very pretty and put together co-workers walked by and she gave her a similar look. I realized this wasn't the first time I'd seen ladies from the "sloppy" side of the world look at the "put-together" ladies like this.

So here's my question. In what ways could they be judging to make them look at us with such disdain? What's the thought process? "How dare she look professional?" "OMG I hate women who wear nice clothes and makeup!"

So ladies, what's the deal?

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 2:54 PM
Replies (11-20):
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:04 PM

I agree with you. It's basically them judging you for judging them... even though they don't know you are judging them. 

But unfortunately I have known too many people look down on others because of the way they presented themselves.. If people would just myob and get the hell over themselves, this world would be so much better! lol 

Quoting garnet83:

Well that's just silly.

Quoting Anonymous:

They automatically think you are a stuck up snob... your nose is up in the air... They assume you are the type to look down on them and think of them as trash. You wouldn't waste a breath on their type... 

My inlaws are a lot like you described, so I know how they view the rest of the world. lol! They used to think I was a snob too. 

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:07 PM

I wouldn't group you as sloppy. I think you can be casual and still look nice. I was noting some things I've seen other women on here make mention of. The only one I agree with is pj's. I think jeans and yoga pants can look cute if worn with other nice articles.

Quoting Anonymous:

Jealousy? You looked nicer than them, whether it be your clothes or weight, and maybe that's why.
I'm on of the "sloppy" people I guess. Jeans, shirt, huge hoodie, ponytail. I never look at people though so I never notice these things.
But my bet is on jealousy.

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:07 PM

Women hate on women... This is not a new concept.

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:10 PM

I only mentioned the yoga pants cause other women on here have bashed them. I actually think they can look cute. I wear them on my days off with t-shirts with little sparkles on them to dress them up a little. Casual can look nice. I just mentioned them because I've seen them bashed before.

Quoting Anonymous:

Man, I'm sick of this crap. I can wear a pair of nice fitting yoga pants and a clean tee shirt, do my hair and make up and look just fine. Damn. Just because I didn't put on real pants I'm automatically grouped in with actual slobby people?

I'm not over weight either, I'm 5'7 and (normally) 115, I'm pregnant and I weigh 135.

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:12 PM

it's probably because "put together" women usually talk down to them or are total bitches to them. she probably judged you to be the kind to be mean to her so she gave you that hateful look. idk, just a thought.

i wear my pjs to pick up my kids from school. i dont care what anybody thinks of me. i choose comfort over looks Any day. However, i completely understand your need to look professional at work. 

by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:15 PM

They may be unemployed struggling every day with no husband or support system, burned out on life with no time or resources to invest in them selves.  It may have been jealousy or resentment vs. judgemental disdain. Is it justified, no, not in my opinion, bitterness never gets any one any where and allowing it to set in for any reason allows one to underestimate themselves and cheat their true potential, but it happens. I say all this because my mother in law never invested any time in her self, life had beaten her to a pulp inside, and was always judgemental and bitter toward any woman who did, including me. I say time, because even though money plays a big part in the "stuff" you have on, or done, it has very little to do with how much confidence you have in your self and how "put together" you can be.  I know what you mean though, it is a shame when it happens.

by Sapphire Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:18 PM

Quoting Kitschy:

Insecurity. They need to find fault with you to justify their own appearance.

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:20 PM


They automatically feel that you are superior to them.

Quoting Kitschy:

Insecurity. They need to find fault with you to justify their own appearance.


by Platinum Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:20 PM

Like others say, a form of jealousy.  Maybe sizing you and and tearing you down before you can do it to them (I'm talking about subconsciously, not literally).

People can look put together in dress down clothes.  Although I'm not skinny and I wear jeans frequently (mostly).  I do make sure everything is cleaned and presssed (if needed), my hair is tidy and if I'm going out to someplace that is not the grocery store (or similar) my make up done.  It's when they look sloppy about it and don't look like they care that it looks bad.

by Gold Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:26 PM
I love your honesty! It made me giggle. At you and with you.

I went to my ob appt this morning and none of my dresses fit anymore! I am a dress and heels kind of girl so I was bummed this morning. I caught myself looking at a a woman in a dress and heels.

I went over and apologized and told her I was jealous that mine of my dresses fit. We laughed, and she pointed me in the direction of an amazing boutique. :)

Quoting danijean:

Honestly they were probably jealous you look nice. There have been times I have been in yoga pants with flip flop hair thrown up. I see a nice dressed lady and I'll give her the look. Haha mostly jealous that she has time to look put together. With a 4 month old those days are hard to come by.
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