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Sloppy Vs. Put-Together; An Observation

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I've seen multiple threads about what is and is not acceptable for ladies to wear out in public. Typically, the ladies who are more "put-together" think the "sloppy" ladies are lazy/dirty or whatever. And the pj/yoga pant wearing ladies suggest they can wear whatever they want.

Well, a few minutes ago, I noticed something and realized it wasn't the first time I'd seen it and I thought it interesting. I'm at work right now. ***Let me go ahead and preface this with the fact that I usually am dressed up with hair done, makeup done, jewelry on, heels on, etc...*** I work with the public. I was walking from my desk to our break room to get a drink and a couple of ladies were in our lobby area, about to see one of our other employees. These ladies were they type that, on CM, would be bashed for looking sloppy. It really was pretty bad. They were both very heavy, yet wearing some sort of lounging attire that wasn't big enough for them. One of them had greasy hair up in a messy ponytail. They both wear wearing flip flops (its pouring down rain and cold outside). And I could see the butt crack of one of them. Now, although that's not how I would leave the house, I really don't care what they look like. Working with the public, there's not much I don't see and it takes a lot to phase me. But here's what got me....Both of them, and one in particular didn't even try to hide it, looked at ME with disdain. They looked me up and down and gave me "that look" that women give other women when they've sized them up and decided they hate them whether they know them or not. I wouldn't have even noticed them at all had I not felt myself being looked at. Then, one of my very pretty and put together co-workers walked by and she gave her a similar look. I realized this wasn't the first time I'd seen ladies from the "sloppy" side of the world look at the "put-together" ladies like this.

So here's my question. In what ways could they be judging to make them look at us with such disdain? What's the thought process? "How dare she look professional?" "OMG I hate women who wear nice clothes and makeup!"

So ladies, what's the deal?

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 2:54 PM
Replies (21-30):
by Ruby Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:29 PM

Ugh - that annoys me!

I often think that they think a woman who is put together is stuck up and snobbish.  They resort to stereotype even though they walked into an office setting where, I'm assuming, most of you that work there are dressed up in some business fashion. 

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:31 PM

Oh honey, it wouldn't matter if you wore a burlap sack. Women are going to hate on other women no matter what. I tell my SO all the time, "darlin, I don't dress for you *when we go out* I dress for the other women". Once I got that through his thick skull he was less jealous when I walked out looking like a cool mil.

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:35 PM

I don't understand the thought process. I really don't think there is much of a thought process going on. Just jealousy.

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:46 PM

I live in jeans/yoga pants and tee-shirts with my hair pulled up all the time. I'm a SAHM, so I don't feel like I need to dress up and waste expensive makeup for my kids to see. My grandma is always fussing at me to let my hair down and wear dresses or skirts sometimes.. Sometimes in the summer I will wear a dress just to run around with the kids, but I'm overweight and self concious about it (I go to the gym every day and have lost almost 35 pounds since July so I'm on the road towards having a better body image). I am always jealous of the other moms in the carpool line at preschool who have time or the energy to pull themselves together and do their make-up, hair and wear nice clothes and ALWAYS make sure I tell a lady when I think she looks great because everyone needs a self-esteem boost. :)

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:50 PM i am reading this in my dark grey yoga pants and pink support the cure hoodie (and matching socks) I think I do not miss the days of business attire.  I relish being able to get my kids out of bed and ready for school ( instead of racing to beat the traffic into the city at 0530 am)  I adore snuggle time with my loaner toddler (my best friends 3yr old) 4 days a week. The fact that my kids grades went thru the roof that I'm always in the next room when they return home from school. I don't miss the hoping, praying, and cussing every missed traffic light on the way to after school because some buttmunch caused an accident on the interstate. 

there are days that i pull out the anne kline or white house black market outfit and do grown up lady things but the precious yoga pant and hoodie moments are always the best. 

by Desiree` on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:52 PM

 I'd rather get looks of disdain from slobs than for being a slob....

by Ruby Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:52 PM

 Women do that all the time.  It's not just sloppy people.

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:57 PM
I know someone who, until recently, made no effort to look put together. Every time we are in public, she picks nicely dressed women apart. It's jealousy. On her part, anyway.
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by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:59 PM
I'll admit I look awful today lol but I have been deep cleaning my house.
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by Ruby Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 4:00 PM
I have noticed this but it usually seems to go the other way- the nicer dressed women look down their nose at the yoga pant wearing women. I fit in between. I'm a jeans and casual top type woman who normally does her hair and make up. But I do dress up on occasion and Sundays.

Either side usually thinks they are better- the classier dressed ones think the others are sloppy and lazy, while the yoga pant one think the others are snotty stuck up and vain. Bottom line, woman hate anything that is different from them.
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