Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why do some parents not care? *Edited* *Edit 2*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

One of the kids in the school I work at was sent to school with a temp of 102 today.  She was immediately sent to the nurse and the parents were called to pick her up.  The father was actually angry he had to pick up his sick child from school.  He shouldn't have sent the child to school to begin with, but he was mad because they wouldn't let her stay at school.  It's sad enough that this poor child's parents don't pay enough attention to realize their 15 year old child only showers twice a week, wears the same clothes to school almost every day of the week, don't buy her pads or tampons for that time of the month nor does she understand what a period is or why she gets it, doesn't know her shoe size so keep buying her shoes 2 sizes too big, doesn't shave or know about shaving her legs, and the list goes on.  This was just the straw that broke the camel's back for me.  I am so pissed.  I do my best not to judge other people's parenting abilities, but this poor girl deserves some attention and regard from her parents.  It's just so freaking sad and makes me so mad!

If there are grammar, punctions, or spelling errors, get over it because I really do not care right now.


This is easier than answering over and over again.

As far as CPS goes, they have been called, but because she has clothes, a roof over her head, food, and electric/heat they will do nothing.  In my state a child has to be almost dead before they will do anything.  They just talk to the parents and move on.  None of this is removal worthy in their eyes.

No it is NOT the school's responsibility to teach the children about their period and all of that.  Yes there are classes that teach that, but the parents must sign a permission slip for the child to be present during that lesson, until senior year of high school.  If the parents said no or did not sign the permission slip the child is removed from the classroom during the lessons.  This girl's parents pretty much ignore every thing sent home with this girl, unless they receive requests by note, email, AND phone call.  It would not surprise me if they never signed the permission slips for the lesson on reproduction.  The poor girl is the only one in her gym class no shaving her legs and she has 2 inch length black hair on her legs.  It has been pointed out to her by several students, as well as myself and another adult.  We have, repeatedly, to talk to her about personal hygene, but honestly it doesn't change anything.  Her clothes have stains, and stuff stuck to them.  How does any parent not catch that as their child is walking out the door and say "please change", as well as at least get her wash her own clothes.

As far as the pads and period, her mother never talked to her about any of it.  When the nurse talked to her about it she was confused and a bit surprised to hear that it was normal, as well as what she needed each month.  It is not the school nurse's job to make sure this girl knows this stuff, nor provide what she needs, but the parents expect it.

To the women who made comments about 102 not being bad for a 15 year old or that she should know to stay home.  No 102 may not be bad for a 15 year old, but anything above 99.9 is required that a student stay home to keep from getting other students sick.  She did what her parents told her and came to school.  The father expected the school to keep her with a fever which is against school health policy.

*Edit 2*

As far as her being special ed or "mentally retarded" as one lady stated, she has no official diagnosis.  All we know is that she is overly emotional and socially ackward.  There is nothing about a diagnosis of any kind.  From what we have seen and experienced her parents are very uninvolved in the life of their child.  There are very few responses from them concerning anything about her.  It's very sad honestly.  The anger of the father expecting the school to keep a sick child did not help his case of being an involved, caring father.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:14 PM
Replies (181-186):
by Christina on Jan. 14, 2013 at 7:28 PM
If you read the end.. I didnt say I blamed her. I showed in frank, how most people her age do those things on their own. Im sure theres a razor in her house (unless her father has a long beard), Im sure theres a washer she can get to if not hand wash, im sure there is also a 1.) shower 2.) bath 3.) sink at her house.

Quoting breydans_mommy:

Why do just automatically assume she doesnt do it on purpose? What if she cant? No shower, no washer, no razors. You get the point.

Quoting ninjakids:

I started shaving at my legs at 12 ( a few months before turning 13). Noone showed me i just did it on my own then showed my mom. So im not sure how that reflects on the parents. Not to mention, I know a girl who never shaved her legs until she was 18. Her exact words " whats the point, not like Im trying to impress any guys or anything ".

As well as when I got my first period i instantly yelled to my mom because i wasnt fully sure what was going on.

As far as showering, Im sure they dont stop her from showering that is her own choice as well. They could tell her to shower and she could fight it for all you know, unless they got in the shower with her...but im sure that would be severly frowned on.

As for clothes, if my mom didnt wash what i wanted washed... Id wash it myself, again another thing she could do for herself (especially at 15).

& finally as for the fever, they may not have thought that she felt that warm and since shes 15 having a therm. in the house is probably the furthest thing from their minds. Even if she said she wasnt feeling good, they may have thought she was just trying to fake sick to stay home.

Im not saying its the girls fault, or that the parents arent doing the best but at 15 these things are fairly common sense / their choice as well

Quoting Anonymous:

15 year olds don't need to shave. I know lots that age who only shower 1-2 a week. The school failed her as far as the period bit as that is health and or science.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2013 at 8:11 PM
We are not allowed to buy clothes, shoes, and such for students. I could be fired for doing such. Her aide and I have chatted with her about personal hygene, washing clothing, wearing clean clothes, brushing teeth, and her period, along with what she needs for her period. There is only so much we are allowed to do and CPS will no nothing since she is clothed, fed, amd has a roof over her head. They're not abusing her in any way so they won't step in.

Quoting breydans_mommy:

If I saw that happening I would figure out a way to help her. I would take her under my wing at school and teach her things and buy her clothes and buy her shoes that fit her right. I cant fathum how any adult could watch this happen and do nothing while claiming its not their job. Thats a load of shit. One person to care about her in her life would make the world to this child. Its sick that people see her being neglected that way and do absolutely nothing about it.
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2013 at 8:16 PM
We do the best we can through conversation and all, but there are things we are not allowed to do. My co-worker, her aide, takes her gym uniform and washes it, but we are not allowed to buy her clothing, shoes, or any of that. We will be fired on the spot. The best we can do is talk to her, and be as encouraging as possible.

Quoting Anonymous:

You seem to know an awful lot about this girl and her family. If you are so close to the situation, would it be possible for you to mentor this girl? Maybe talk to her about basic hygiene. Maybe buy her a box of tampons once a month. I mean it's sad that her parents aren't doing what needs to be done, but honestly if nothing is being done even if it's been reported, than what good does it do her to come here and complain about it? If you are in a position to help, why not try to help?

by Silver Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 12:27 AM
No no... you have it wrong. See, you're talking to a girl who's mom was so old fashioned and so embarrassed to talk about womenly things that she never even explained to her daughter what a pad was. When the daughter asked she would get mad and send her to her room. No one ever took care of me since I learned to shower myself (age 5-6ish) no one at home taught me about wearing deoderant every day and to put some on after a shower, that I learned from a teacher. My reproductive system and period, puberty, hair in strange places, pads, tampons were all taught to me from a book at my school library. Yes, I didn't have someone at home who would teach me that but once you become a teenager you start to realize that not all the kids are dirty with nappy hair and dorty clothes. That when you start to wonder and try to find ways to learn how to take care of yourself because no one else would do it for you. This girl must have huge depression problems to not care. Im not saying she is dirty and just doesn't care what Im saying is that there is a bigger problem and something worse could br going on for her to put herself in this situation. I just hope someone helps her with her hygiene and maybe offer her to speak to a counselor to get to the bottom of this.

Quoting ksueditz:

Children who are neglected are not TAUGHT these things. Kids aren't BORN knowing how to do these things they're shown. Most from birth.

Quoting BabiiYarellie:

Lmao. My very exact thoughts. Kids care at that age, its when they start to worry about their physical appearance. I dont understand why she doesn't do anything about it unless her parents prohibit her to shower or something.

Quoting Stacey2506:

Is the 15 year old mentally retarted? She is definately old enough to know how to shower, take care of her period, dress herself etc. I thought at first you were talking about a 5 year old.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Sapphire Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 10:09 AM


Quoting breydans_mommy:

Im sorry, but yes there is a whole you can do to make a teenager do something. You are the parent. You enforce the rules. You dont let them just do whatever they want.

Quoting notjstasocermom:

just because she doesn't do it doesn't mean she doesn't know how. let me guess you have only small children. you can only make a teen do so much. you'll learn that.

Quoting Ollie123:

She obviously does not know how to do these things. Shit she didn't even know about her fucking period. That is sad. Poor kid.

Quoting notjstasocermom:

how is she? a 15 year old knows how to change her clothes,wash herself, ect. If she doesn't thats on her not her parents.

Quoting Ollie123:

How is she not neglected?

Quoting notjstasocermom:

shes not neglected.

Quoting Ollie123:

Neglect is abuse.

Quoting LoveMyLos:

LOL for what? Her parents are stupid, but theres no abuse....

Quoting calvinsmommy18:

 sounds like cps should be called. also sounds like if these allegations are true that the children would be removed from the home.

by Ruby Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 10:14 AM

thats sad.  i work with those kids too but they are k-3.   very sad.  i question why god thinks these people are worthy of children when so many good people struggle to get pregnant and its always to good parents who get a kid with cancer or stuff like that.   life isnt fair.   too many kids are neglected.   too little funding exists to help them.    i really could slap those parents - oh if i was only allowed! 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)