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DH addicted to porn?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 13 Replies

My DH and I don't have the greatest sex life.  He is what you'd call selfish in bed...he doesn't get me off, rarely tries to, and doesn't have an issue with it.  I can count on one hand the number of times he's gone down on me during the course of our relationship, but I ALWAYS give him head.  On top of that, the sex we have is just not that good...he just wants to pound away hard & mean until he cums, making no noise at all.  Almost every time we have sex I'm sore afterwards and sometimes something is even torn down there.  We ALWAYS do it doggy style...he goes soft otherwise.  We usually only have sex once a week (sometimes twice).  If I ask him for sex any other time, he usually says he's tired and we don't do it.  He rarely ever initiates.

Anyway, I know he watches porn and I do too sometimes.  But I'm starting to wonder if he might have an addiction.  I got into his computer and saw that he literally watches porn EVERY day, usually BDSM, rough anal or something that's completely degrading to women.  And he watches quite a lot.  I'm not sure when he finds time to do this but he does.  He has told me before that he "needs" to jerk off everyday.  But here's the thing...many times I feel like he'd rather go to porn & jerk off than be with me.  There was one night a couple weeks back that we were home alone, and we were watching a movie together on the couch.  I was dressed sexy & cuddled up next to him, cleavage obviously showing, hoping that he would make a move (he never does).  He didn't.  For 2 hours we sat on this couch!  Normally I would have made a move but I was tired of doing that.  I eventually fell asleep (I'm pregnant and tired) and as soon as I woke up he got up & jerked it in the bathroom.  I know he did because I asked him about it.  Half the time when we do have sex, he can't keep it up or can't ejaculate.  I'm so tired of this.

I told him I feel like there's some sort of problem with our sex life and he agrees...he said he's had "issues" with every girlfriend he's had.  Yet he lies about the porn and he won't even look at me when we have sex.  It's gotten to the point that when we have sex it's only mechanical for me and most of the time I don't even want to do it.  I don't even get wet anymore.  I don't know what to do!  I feel bad for snooping on his computer but I wanted to confirm my suspicions.  What do you ladies think/suggest?  Anybody been through this?

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 14, 2013 at 4:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2013 at 4:20 PM

bump

Abby.N.Amys.Mom
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 4:24 PM

Uh - no advice but here's a bump.  I would leave him because I couldn't be put on the back burner like that.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 14, 2013 at 4:35 PM

One of the many side effects and downfalls of masturbation. Your husband treats you like crap and you have every right to leave him and find someone to respect you. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2013 at 4:38 PM

I don't want to leave him...we have honestly not been married all that long.  I think he's a good guy but this is an issue that's really bothering me.  I don't mind if he watches porn and/or masturbates occasionally, but when it seems like he'd rather do that than have sex with me, that's a problem.  And once he's masturbated (doesn't matter what time of day it is) he's done...no sex that day. 

Quoting Anonymous:

One of the many side effects and downfalls of masturbation. Your husband treats you like crap and you have every right to leave him and find someone to respect you. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2013 at 4:38 PM

He also "hides" when he masturbates for some reason.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 14, 2013 at 4:42 PM

He's not addicted to the porn, He's addicted to the masturbation. He needs to stop both (porn and masturbation) if he's willing to improve your sex life. I honestly could never be with a man like that. You are strong for wanting to stand by him. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't want to leave him...we have honestly not been married all that long.  I think he's a good guy but this is an issue that's really bothering me.  I don't mind if he watches porn and/or masturbates occasionally, but when it seems like he'd rather do that than have sex with me, that's a problem.  And once he's masturbated (doesn't matter what time of day it is) he's done...no sex that day. 

Quoting Anonymous:

One of the many side effects and downfalls of masturbation. Your husband treats you like crap and you have every right to leave him and find someone to respect you. 



Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 14, 2013 at 4:46 PM

Have you heard of that show "7 days of sex"? It really does work! Make a pact that neither of you will watch porn for 7 days and you'll have sex every day no matter what for 7 days. It will really bring you closer!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2013 at 4:50 PM

I haven't heard of that but I'll check it out.

Quoting Anonymous:

Have you heard of that show "7 days of sex"? It really does work! Make a pact that neither of you will watch porn for 7 days and you'll have sex every day no matter what for 7 days. It will really bring you closer!


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2013 at 5:00 PM

So what would you ladies do...would you admit that you had snooped in his stuff & found some things you didn't like?  I'm feeling guilty and bad about myself.  I just don't know what to do.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 14, 2013 at 5:19 PM
Sounds like you've got a bigger problem than you want to admit. His attitude toward you and the way he has sex with you sounds like hes caught up in some very sexually deviant fantasies. I would be very concerned.
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